Pain during sex and affecting relationship - advice please!

[Bufdiz]

I am in some desperate need of advice please.

i had a lap a few years ago to deal with a large amount of endo in the pouch of douglas. Before I had it, it did hurt to have sex. However, since the operation i have scar tissue in my vagina, so sex is still uncomfortable.

I now have built up a big issue around having sex because of the discomfort it causes and very rarely initiate sex. Its become more and more of an issue and I just don't really know what to do as, although I enjoy foreplay, sex is often something I often just want to get over with.

I have read on here about people getting psychosexual therapy and was wondering if this is something they would recommend?

Any advice would be gratefully received. xxx

[Hidden]

The pouch-a-Douglas tends to make sex hurt deep within the vagina where the adhesions and scar tissue occur. The average vagina is about 6 inches in length when aroused, 4 inches when unaroused, the average penis when erect goes to about this amount which makes deep penetration inevitable. However there are certain positions which prevent deep penetration and there are also things you can do or buy to prevent deep penetration. Girl on top is a good position since you can control depth however if you have an overactive pelvic floor and tight thigh muscles it might be painful.

If your still in pain after preventing deep penetration I would reccomend Pelvic Floor physiotherpy since it could be due to an overactive pelvic floor with an inability to stretch (it's tensed so too short) or relax. One issue I had was I couldn't even feel if a finger was there until it got deep because my muscles were so tense that my nerves shut off. Once everything got released (You physiotheprist can teach you or you can put a vibrator on the PC muscles) I was able to feel things. However deep penetration is still excruciatingly painful and if my physiotheprist moves close to there during the release massage feel like a 1000 knife are there.

[Bufdiz in reply to Hidden]

Thank you - I will look into physio

[Hidden]

Could be vaginismus, specifically if it's the pain associated with penetration and you thinking it will hurt again etc. Might be worth going to the GP though a lot of them don't know anything about it and it took me a year or two to get seen but now got a lovely gyneao who I see pretty regularly, and could be considered for physiotherapy but I mostly do kegels and dilate regularly x

[Bufdiz in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the advice