Endo and sex...

[NJG_98]

Hey everyone,

*Warning this post is about sex as included in the title* (I hope this appropriate for the page?)

So as most of you who already follow me know, I've made posts about weight gain and stretch marks and how it's really had a huge impact on my self esteem and confidence.

I kind of want some advice, I'm still waiting for my diagnostic laparoscopy but how do you women who have been diagnosed, make sex pleasurable? I find it so painful, and I'm not sure if this linked to the possible endo or some other underlying problem and I'm wondering if I should talk to a doctor. Even masturbation isn't pleasurable, I'm always in pain. I am the least flexible person so I find a lot of positions my partner / whoever I'm being sexual or intimate with wants me to do, I just can't for long.

Not only is it for one painful and I never have any energy, my confidence is so low which I think also doesn't help make things enjoyable as I am constantly worrying what the opposite person thinks of my body etc, I can't even wear any clothing or take a photo of myself if my skin is on show and you can see the horrible purple marks on my stomach, I know that I need to accept myself and learn to love my body but it's just so frustrating when I do everything possible to live a healthy lifestyle, and I'm gaining weight and discovering marks on my body from out of nowhere.

I'd really just appreciate some advice on how other women who may have the same problems, either with feelings extremely lethargic to the point it feels like a chore to get sexually aroused for your partner because you're always so exhaausyed, in pain, or just really not confident with their bodies or in the bedroom, also apologies for posting something covering a slightly awkward subject to some ladies. Xxx

[Hdhskdhdhdh]

Hey! I'm sorry to hear you're having problems.

These are the things I do to help (it's a list sorry!)

-buy a few cheap baby dolls and a few expensive ones, Amazon is amazing for them. These will hide your stretch marks, but show your boobs and bum. The slight cover, even if sheer, does amazing things for your confidence when you put it on and make you feel s sexy!

-explain to your partner that he needs to tell you more than you're attractive, especially during sex. Even if he doesn't talk, you need the positive reinforcement.

-if it's a one night stand, I usually ask the guy what he thinks of a different girls outfit or make a comment that a girl looks nice, if he slags them off then he won't treat you any nicer afterwards so AVOID.

-I take painkillers and iboprofun beforehand, totally unsexy and sorta feels shitty but they take about twenty minutes to work so by the time sex is over, they've started kicking in or are working already.

-it's not spontaneous but I always 'plan' sex for days off or just before bed, that means I can have the time afterwards to die in pain.

-baths, hot water bottles, heat patches. Get them on the pain and if you can stand it, a bit undignified, just hold the hot water bottle between your legs.

-positions like doggy style and me on top are the worst, these can floor me for hours. I always try do these but I've explained that it can hurt so we either go cray for ten minutes then move position or we do it slowly.

-lube is the best, always so much lube. I used to use it only when I'm sore but if you use it even when you THINK you'all be okay, you'll eliminate a lot of the chance of any swelling. Buy a really nice smelling one that won't stain your sheets and doesn't taste gross. If you're guy doesn't think it's sexy and thinks you don't need it, then ask him if you can insert something in him without lube.

-I always try not to eat beforehand, a full stomach on top of sex swelling can be awful. Eat something light after, have a nap then go have a meal.

-I always totally underestimated foreplay. It gives your partner better chance to get you ready, and it's a good bit of time to decide how you're physically feeling before you actually have sex.

Unfortunately, it's something that might get better, might not do. Some days I do all these and still want to throw something at my partner if he comes near me.

The MOST important thing is don't try push yourself if you're not feeling it, no male is worth the physical or emotional pain that can come afterwards.

I hope these help, and I'm sorry if it's too personal for some people!

[NJG_98 in reply to Hdhskdhdhdh]

These are great tips thank you so much, I'll definitely look into the baby dolls, it's just something that covers me a little so my partner doesn't notice, if it was a one night stand I wouldn't care as much because let's face it I'm probably never gonna see them again 😜

[Hdhskdhdhdh in reply to NJG_98]

Baby dolls helped me so much! My partner is super supportive and strokes my marks and calls them cute but sometimes, when I undress I can see his eyes go to them and it makes me feel awful. I know he's not looking at them thinking 'gross' but this option always helps for when I get paranoid he is thinking that that.

[Sweetyassi]

Hi sorry to hear that you're suffering. Your not the only one with this problem, so don't feel lonely. I'm in pain day and night due to endo. I have endo inside my bladder and on both my ovaries and around my bowels. I have stretch marks all over my stomach.

I have noticed that my skin has become more dryer since being diagnosed with endo 7 years ago.

Having sex in any position is painful for me, I bleed afterwards for a good couple of hours. Even foreplay hurts. I try to ignore my pains or pretend I'm normal healthy person but it doesn't work. Most of the time I can't have sex and it's put a lot of stress on my marriage.

I feel so exhausted all the time not sure if it's due to me wearing morphine patch or lack of eating. Either way I'm too exhausted to have sex most times. I don't enjoy it anymore like I used to. Whenever my endo comes back it's always in the same place causing the same problems. I'm always getting infections.

Sorry I know I'm not helping here, but to be honest I don't know how to help you or myself. All I know is that endo is ruining my marriage.

Sweety.

[NJG_98 in reply to Sweetyassi]

I'm so sorry endo is ruining your marriage Sweety, but hopefully your husband/wife understands your problems and is willing to support you over their own sexual needs. Wishing you some pain free days xxx

[Sweetyassi in reply to NJG_98]

Thanks, but my hubby can sometimes be very impatient and say hurtful things.

Hopefully someone here can help you.

Sweety.

[Nicolahunny]

I'm pretty much got a non existent sex life either in to much pain or to tired to do it cause of my endometriosis but lucky that my husband understands we have talked about sexual counselling as had a great sex life before I got endometriosis

[Loulou24]

I totally understand what you are saying. i have had the same issue and I was really lucky that my partner is fab and I spoke to my gynecologist who refered me to a specialist at the BGSE hospital I visit who specialises in this. They have prescribed me dilators to help and have been suggesting ways to help as I am totally embarrassed by my body and it hurts when I have sex. Currently we are using massage to help me ease back into this. I hope this helps. x