Feeling stuck

Does anyone else feel its difficult to reach out to family and friends when you need to talk or a hug? My husband is amazing in so many ways but I get so low and can't put words around how I'm feeling. It gets stuck in my head and then it goes round and round and I suppose in order to keep it together in front of my kids , hubbie and work keeping it all in takes more effort than actually breaking down. I feel better when I do cry and talk about it but sometimes its like I get stuck and I don't know how to reach out. My hubbie is a typical man in that unless I spell it out he's so use to me coping with it that he takes it for granted. He's a really keen sportsman, does triathlons and has invited his group round for a bbq this afternoon. I can't help but feel resentful and feel stuck in our bedroom as I'm just not up to socialising and putting a brave face on it. He just organised it and I feel mean saying no so I let him go ahead even though I'm screaming in my head that I want to be able to just slob on the sofa and have a duvet day but I can't because he's got friends round.

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  • I feel the same! I get on with everything putting on a brave face but I also expect others to be a little more considerate regarding the pain that I'm in. It's a fine line. I suppose if I'm appearing to cope it's hard for anyone else to know different. Sometimes by trying to do it all & keeping it all in we build a rod for our own backs. Talk to your partner, he must know that you have good days & bad days. Ask him if in the future when you simply say your having a bad day it means you need a hug and you need to change plans for the day i.e. The sofa is off limits to anyone but you! Wish you well & I hope you do have some good days xx

  • I think the low level constant pain I have makes me really irritable too any more than one person talking is difficult plus and music tv or anything is really difficult . So really feel for you. although sometimes it is good to be shoved outside of comfort zone as sometimes even though we don't feel like it it nice to do something " normal " with people who have no interest in us being ill , else I think I'd have complete silence and see no one if it was up to me 😂😂😂.

    It also difficult as it difficult to tell people vaguely what's the matter without it getting uncomfortably personal and also people always with illness normally it has a pattern it s normally is getting ill then it's treated and you get better it's this chronic illness that just stay s the same or gets worse and endless waiting to see if things work grrrrrrrrr it so boring for us never mind anyone else. People just saying you look ok when you feel awful which just makes me feel irrationally angry . Also because with endo /adenomyosis nothing shows we just look normal ish even when in agony it so difficult . That's how I feel anyway hope your day went ok and bbq was easier than expected 💗

  • Hope it wasn't too bad a day and you managed some rest too.

    As others have said maybe when it's a good day try to explain a bit more to your hubby and say some days are not good and you will need to change plans and have a duvet day. Maybe you could come up with a signal to let him know it's a bad day - like asking for a cup of tea in bed, or staying in your pjs and then he just knows without you spelling it out.

    I find those days are ones where I have to just look after myself and be self caring and if the brave face is on for everyone to see (as it usually is) hide away for some me time.

    Good luck and remember you're not alone we all days like that.

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