I feel really confused and don't know what to think of myself anymore. I have depression. I've been on Citalopram for a few months now, and I feel no better. My doctor has put me on the long list for counselling, but that will be a long while yet. Even when I'm having a good day, I still don't feel particularly good about myself. And it usually ends in a huge outburst of tears at the end of the day. I either feel numb and closed off from everything and everyone else. Or I feel angry, emotional, and frustrated. Almost every day, usually at night, I consider suicide. And end up having an emotional breakdown because my thoughts scare me so much. My parents don't know what more to do that will help. And it upsets them to see me get so bad. And I have no motivation to do anything to help lift my spirits.
There's no point in me self harming, as that won't fix my problems. Running away won't either. Because my problem is myself and my own body. So there's no way to escape from that, other than to end my life.
I just want to feel like me again. But I haven't felt like that in a long time. Does anyone have any advice? Any coping techniques? Any forums or websites specifically for this problem?