I miss the old me

[hanfoxy]

I was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago. I went onto anti depressants 18months ago and following a recent relapse had my dosage changed. Now I have endo. It is the early stages of being investigated but it was confirmed when I was admitted to hospital in October with massive abdo pain and suspecting my appendix they did a Laproscopy.

Now though I find myself in pain on almost a daily basis. I started a new job and have found it so difficult to get settled especially considering I've needed sick leave. I struggle to socialise because I'm so tired or in pain and it just makes me feel even lower.

I get told that some of it is in my head but that still means it's there, I still feel it. I feel so lucky to have this place to seek support and give the support to others. 

I am trying my very best to manage my symptoms with pain killers and diet but I am struggling so much with how low I am. It's worse when you consider endo has no real cure and nor does depression. I keep hoping it will ease but lately it just gets worse.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone but some days I wish someone could feel how I feel even if it's just for an hour. Then if they said they understood I could maybe believe them.

I'm sorry this wasn't chirpy reading but I needed it out of my system. Thank you so much for all being here

Xxx