Me Time

It been a while since I have posted on the page, I really apologise for this. Life has been very hectic with getting ready for my impending surgery. I go in tomorrow for my bowel prep which I am really looking forward to...not! I am all packed and ready to go. The build up to the surgery has resulted in an intensification around my endo, the surgery, the pain, the bleeding, the meds, the possible outcomes, the unknown and what the future holds. Needless to say I have felt pretty stressed out about everything. My partner and myself decided a pre op break would do us both a world of good so we headed off to a hotel recently for a few nights much needed R&R.

As I have said before my endo likes me to know that it calls the shots, its dictates what I shall and shall not do and our break away was no different. It would seem that I must have irked the endo beast by attempting to plan something nice for myself because at 6:30am the day before we were due to leave my endo released the crimson tide. I woke in horrible pain, bleeding heavily and feeling like death! But I was determined to not let it ruin my plans; naively I hoped it might even stop over night....but no...the next day I bled heavier, I even felt so drained and weak I thought I would definitely faint at some point (thankfully I did not). Still not to be deterred we headed off, stopping to buy some dark towels for me to sleep on because all hotels insist on using damn crisp white linen and bedsheets!

Since my endo had decided to play up we didn’t really make any specific plans since we weren’t sure how I would be feeling, we had a few days to ourselves with nothing specific to do and it was AMAZING! I honestly feel like a whole new woman. From the moment we landed at the hotel my endo was not talked about once. For one magical weekend we were a normal young couple, we laughed, we went on short walks, we took photographs, we watched the sunset, we drank wine on the beach, we had a romantic candlelit meal. We went for a drive around on our second day, stopping at random places of interest as we toured directionless around a rainy Ireland. Since I wasn’t exerting myself doing anything, I was just relaxing, my endo calmed down and actually seemed to enjoy the down time. Now don’t get me wrong I was always endo aware: I didn’t drink too much because alcohol infuriates the endo beast, I walked at a pace which pleased the endo, I took my pain killers when I needed to and I went to bed early to rest. But blissfully for three full days my endometriosis was not my centre focus, it was not at the forefront of my mind – rather it was nestled neatly to the side, I was aware of its presence but it did not dominate the show.

Endometriosis is such an overwhelming and dominating disease, for the most part it does (as I’ve said before) control our lives, our day to day norm. After my time away I feel that it is vitally important that every once in a while we distort our norm, we take a break, we put our day to day routine on pause and we indulge in some endo down time. Book yourself some time away, don’t make any specific plans, don’t give yourself an itinerary – live in the moment. Do what is comfortable for you in that moment, be endo aware and listen to your body but enjoy the bliss that comes from having some you time, not the usual you and endo time. I know there are always a million reasons to stop us from taking time to ourselves: work, money, family, pets but benefits of me time for an endo sufferer far outweigh the reasons not to, so go an book something for yourself today! I promise you will not be disappointed!


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5 Replies

  • Well said! Hope all goes well tomorrow xx

  • Thank you :)

  • What a wonderful and hopeful post. Thank you for sharing. I am waiting for my surgery date and the stress of not knowing and the impending pain that is due to get worse before any better is definitely playing on my mind and my endo is taking advantage of my anxiety and playing up a lot more.

    Best of luck with your opp! Hope it all goes well.

  • Thank you very much! I hope you get your date sooner rather than later (as do you I'm sure). The waiting is awful, when you get your date you know what you are working towards. Hopefully it comes soon, while you're waiting make sure you get lots of endo down time when you can

  • This is so inspiring! Thank you! There have been times when I've been determined not to let the endo get the better of me and ruin my plans and on times I have succeeded, but I usually pay for it later 😏. Im off to Prague in December on a girly holiday and I've been terrified that it'll coincide with my period bit at the moment the dates look good, so keeping fingers crossed for an endo-free break and time to myself. Best of luck with your op x

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