Getting Pregnant

[Joebella]

Hi,

Sorry if this is long, I just felt I needed someone to talk to and didn't know what to do.

I have endo and was finally diagnosed a few years ago, even though I knew it was what I had but just took over ten years to get the diagnosis.

I had a laparoscopy and the consultant said I had it quiet bad as they couldn't remove any of the damaged areas to help. But no one has been overly clear on how bad I have it, what it means etc. Thw consultant who I said after being in hospital advised me to take my pills back to back with only a break every 3 months and that did help. She also was very clear about when thinking about children I should try a few years before getting near to 35 as once I get to that age or older I'll have even more reduced chance.

I just got married this year and turned 33, so we started talking about children and I've come off my pill. The worry I have is in not 100% sure I want children, I've never been maternal and never been overly keen on kids. There's times in recent years where I've warmed to the idea and so agrees to come off my pill. But I think I've felt more pressure to come off it because of the endo. The more I keep thinking about it the more I'm not sure I want them, but feel I should start trying because if I leave it it could be too late with the endo and I getting older. I'm now worried I'm trying before I'm ready, but if I don't try and then decide I do want them in a year or two I could regret not trying. I feel so confused and under pressure with this looming 35 and the endo. Plus my husband is more keen on kids and I'm finding that pressure as well.

I was just interested if anyone else had felt this way and wasn't sure about kids but felt like they had to try? I feel so torn all the time and keep getting upset as I don't know what's best to do. Just wanted to post on here as just wanted to get this off my chest and have someone to talk to. It has made me feel a little better just writing this down.

Thanks for listening!

[Hidden]

I'm only 24 but know exactly what you mean. I've not been diagnosed with endo yet but think I probably have it! My partner of 8 years is 29 and my biggest worry is not being able to conceive but then again I'm not overly maternal and cannot imagine having children but would quite like them if that even makes sense. I would rather come off my pill and just see what happens than actually plan to have children I know sounds strange but I'm that kind of person whatever happens is for a reason. If I found out I couldn't conceive I would be devastated

[applebird]

Hi, I was diagnosed at 25 and told to ttc then. We weren't 'ready' at the time. We're now married, better finances etc. 5 years later and have suffered a miscarriage and chemical pregnancy. I also now have adenomyosis as well as endometriosis - 5 yrs ago the inside of my womb was classified as 'healthy', no so now....

I don't think anyone is ever ready for the upheaval and changes that kids can bring into your life. Talk to your husband honestly about your anxieties and how you're feeling confused and under pressure. A lot of those feelings are normal, especially at this age when everyone is settling down.

[Hidden]

Hi I kinda know how you feel. I've never been maternal but thought I will probably have kids one day, just because it's the normal thing to do and everyone else is having them. So I didn't start trying until I was 31 and now 3 years later after being diagnosed with endo earlier this year it looks like we will have to have IVF. Of course now, there's nothing more I want than to have a baby!! X

[Jakey26]

I could've written your post myself!!! Yes I have felt exactly like this after being diagnosed at 31 and married at 32. I have said to younger ladies in their late teens or early 20's that I was almost grateful I wasn't diagnosed until I was older due to the pressure I felt even in my 30's. I like my friends children but can't stand other peoples and if someone asks if I want to hold their new baby-the answer is always 'no thank you'! A bit like Loumk though, I just thought that one day I would have children although the whole idea scares me half to death but the thought of that choice being taken away scared me just as much.

Following my lap, I went on hormone treatment (provera) for 6 months to give us some thinking time (and get married), we conceived 3 months later and I didn't know how I felt, some days, I would wish it away, other days I felt happy (people may hate me for that comment but I suffered badly with depression and anxiety). I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and was absolutely devastated (blaming myself for wishing it away at times). I guess this told me, I did after all want them so we tried again and I'm now currently 27 weeks pregnant. Still scared half to death and questioning whether it's the right thing to do some days but the idea of losing it again fills me with dread.

xx