Feeling so low. Endo & Depression. Advice please :(

Hi Everyone

My name is Ceri and i'm 29 years old. I recently joined this forum to find out how other people are coping with endo. After around 8 years of gynae problems the Drs finally came up with a diagnosis of endo (not confirmed i'm waiting for a lap).

Initially I was relieved that it wasn't a life threatening disease however after finding out more about endo I have been struggling emotionally. I can cope with the pain, i'm used to it. But the thought of dealing with episodes of depression for the rest of my life just pushes me over the edge. The past week I have been so low. It's just been a total nightmare, I have been extremely irritable with my partner and family. I just feel unhappy for no particular reason and want to be alone. I love my job but last week I had to drag myself out of bed which even brought me to tears some mornings. I am starting to hate myself for feeling this way.

I just don't know how to make myself better. I exercise regularly and this is a short term fix. I also have an eating disorder (which is undercontrol atm) so my diet isn't exactly great.

Does anyone else suffer with depression? How do you deal with it? Does the pill actually make it worse?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ceri

xxx

8 Replies

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  • I've just turned 19 and have only been experiencing pain for roughly 6 months. I was told a month ago that what I have could be endometriosis (I won't know for sure without a laparoscopy). I've recently been on the pill but it's prolonged the symptoms. I usually experience pain every month around ovulation that lasts a week but is extremely intense to the point where I can't get out of the house. 8 years is a long time and it's perfectly understandable to feel down and depressed. I've only been suffering for 6 months yet it's changed my life. Currently have no idea if the pill I'm on is affecting my moods, I'll just have to wait and see. I'm currently working out how to manage my emotions so I can't offer any valuable advice but I wish you all the best and really hope you feel happier soon!

    Louise :)

  • Thank you for sharing this Louise. I hope you get answers soon x

  • Hi, I know how you feel. I've had problems on and off for years but I've always seen the doctor for each symptom flaring up in isolation so they never suspected Endo until now. I had a baby 9 months ago and since then the pelvic pain and back ache has started. I've now been referred to a gynaecologist but I have to wait 7 weeks to find out if I'm even going to be given a laparoscopy. Now I have my date I think its suddenly hit me. I'm worried about not being taken seriously and being fobbed off at my appointment, I'm worried if I do have to have a laparoscopy, I'm worried if they find Endo but I'm also worried if they don't and I have to spend more time finding out what this is, then I'm worried they'll find something worse. Then on top of that if it is Endo I'm scared of feeling like this forever. I'm also 29 and the thought of being like this for the rest of my life terrifies me.

    The thing is I come onto this site feeling that way but then I read about all the people that have it and although they come onto this site when they have problems, overall most are usually doing great. For every post from someone struggling I've seen so many strong supportive posts. If it does turn out to be endometriosis there are so many things which can help whether its something the doctor can do or whether its something like changing your lifestyle or diet.

    I know it's hard because I'm going through the same thing but although it probably doesn't feel like it just remember there's so much that can be done to help.

    I hope you start to feel better soon and that after your laparoscopy the symptoms can start to be managed for you. If you ever need some to talk to I'm happy to help as I'm going through pretty much the same thing and I seem to be a regular on here at the moment!

    Xx

  • Hi Ceri,

    I am so sorry to hear of your situation, it is good that you are asking for help though.

    First of all, can I ask if you have spoken to your doctor about this? It is really important to keep them informed, and they may be able to do something to help, such as refer you for counselling, or suggest an anti depressant.

    The thing about depression is that it is linked in with the pain and other symptoms of endo, and can be managed as well, as long as you are willing to be honest with yourself, I know it sounds obvious, but from personal experience, this is a huge step and makes all the difference.

    Depression is not constant in my experience, it ebbs and flows, some days/weeks are really bad, others are OK and you feel like yourself, and over time you get to know it, recognise its patterns, and get better at managing it when it takes you down to a really low and hopeless place, and better at making the most of it when you are feeling good and cheerful.

    Another question, have you spoken honestly and openly with your partner and family? I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to help them understand, to communicate to them, 'look, I have these problems, they cause these types of moods and there is little I can do, and when I am down, I need you to be supportive', and explain to them what helps, whether you need to be left alone or taken out of yourself, or given a shoulder. Explaining the nature of depression to those without it is hard, as is the case with endo, because they cannot see it as such.

    When I first acknowledged my depression, I started to keep a journal, I would talk about endo, feelings, and so forth, it was only for me to have an outlet, not for anyone else to see, but it helped. This may help you too.

    I also looked at an online CBT website called mood gym, it was very useful, maybe have a look and see if you think it would help you too.

    Stay strong,

    V

  • I was recently diagnosed with depression which was born out of the frustration I fell about being unwell all the time, so i know how you feel. It's really difficult coping with a long term condition, and we grieve for the way our lives were before/ how we want them to be.

    The best thing i think you can do is be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel unhappy if that is where you are at the moment. I used to spend so much time telling myself to 'pull myself together' whenever i started to get depressed, but as soon as I said to myself, 'you know what, things are rubbish, i'm ALLOWED to be upset about it. I'm only human' I started to feel a bit better because I wasn't trying to repress the emotions.

    I also started going to therapy which has really helped me get my head around what is happening. The day after my 20th birthday in September I realised that I was slipping into a really dark, scary place so I made an appointment at my GP and got referred. It took me a little while to find a therapist I connected with but now I have weekly sessions and I've found it's a really helpful space to voice how i'm feeling and actually digest some of the things that are happening to me. I'm waiting for my first lap as well and my weekly sessions have been helping me navigate the various feelings I'm having about it - fear, hope, nervousness ect. It's def a worth while avenue to try if you feel you're not coping rn.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this too and I hope with all my heart you are able to find relief from the mental health symptoms soon.

    love and hugs,

    Hannah xo

  • Sorry! I posted this in the wrong place at first!

    I have lived through this and whilst I still have my moments, these are the things that have helped me.

    Diet...I cut out wheat and most dairy. Makes a big difference. As soon as I think I can get away with a nice bit of bread and cheese I am sulky and down the next day. Try to eat as unprocessed as possible.

    Cut down on alcohol and caffeine, again, big difference for me especially as they both disturb sleep, and one thing you can't do without with endo is sleep.

    Exercise! Again, big difference. I took up running in January with a goal of doing a half marathon. I had two months of much easier symptoms. I did the marathon and then relaxed with the running....had a terrible month! I have now to choose another goal to get me out there running!

    Vitamins....multi vit, vit d, zinc and omegas! Seems a lot but it has helped me. I was close to going on antidepressants and then the doc noticed low vit d. Wow, what a difference after I had taken a supplement.

    Flaxseed, ground, in smoothies or whatever else you can get it into. Helps the bowels enormously.

    Magnesium salts baths and cherry concentrate baths, really good for a good nights sleep!

    Sorry. The list seems a bit endless but these have all helped me, it isn't a cure and you will still have moments but it is much more bearable. Hope this helps :-)

  • Hi :) I am 28 I suffer with endometriosis and depression also, have done for 8/9 years only just started taking anti depressants as I was so scared.

    I found that any hormone based contraception/treatment didn't help at all especially progesterone only. I have currently stopped all form of contraception and on nothing. It helped my mood greatly but then had a lapse if you like so that's when I decided to take the antidepressants. I find talking about how I feel helps especially with my partner or mum as they can help put your mind at ease. Sometimes the simple things like asking your partner to run you a hot bath or make dinner helps to.

    I hope you feel better soon and things get easier. Xxx

  • Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. I guess there is no cure to the low moods and that it's just something I will have to deal with. I have been on the pill for 11 years so I'm going to stop taking it and see if things get any better.

    Thanks again for the replies and advice ladies

    xxx

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