Having a bad day

I know I am going to sound really pathetic as I know that is the grand scheme of things I have things pretty good, but today I am feeling so low, I'm at work and feel like I could cry any minute but I don't really know what is upsetting me so much. I have always been a worrier but seem to be taking things to the next level :(

I think I am worrying about the future too much and the possibility of not being about to conceive naturally - or at all. I find this website really useful but sometimes the awful things people are gong through such as unsuccessful IVF, infertility, horrendous hospital experiences etc make me worry about what the future may hold for me. I am only at the beginning of my endo 'experience' after being diagnosed in December. Does anyone else go through periods of depression like this? I have been feeling so positive over the last few months following my laparoscopy but can feel myself going into a downward spiral again and am worried I wont get out of this any time soon :(

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  • Hello.

    Sorry you're feeling so down. I think it's normal, especially when you're faced with trying to get your head around something like being diagnosed with endometriosis. I think the first few months are always the hardest. I suffer from severe depression, I go up and down alot and my endometriosis is one if the things that effects me most.

    I worry all the time about not being to conceive and what will happen in the future. It's completely normal to worry. There's nothing wrong with you feeling depressed about it. You have a chronic illness which really affects the way you try to live your life.

    You're stronger than you think you are! Most people couldn't stay positive at all never mind for months at a time! Give u yourself some credit! If youre really feeling quite low and depressed and aren't already- I'd maybe advise going to your gp and mention this to him. There are tablets which can help manage your moods and intense feelings of anxiety or depression.

    I've been on anti-depressants since I was 14 and am currently on prozac /fluxotine which is working really well for me, although I've tried amitriptyline, citroplam and such. It does help to make you feel a little calmer and less intensely low. But remember that it's okay to feel these things! It's alot to take in! Of course you're going to feel worried and anxious! Who wouldn't.

    I try to take it as it comes a day at a time. Sometimes I have really good positive days too and others I just feel absolutely devastated.

    As for the future, try not to worry too much about things that are out your control. Ivf and such works for alot of people, not everyone. But there's some small hope. So keep the flame burning :) I try to, even in my saddest days. I'd love to be a mother and the older I get the more worried I get about it! It's natural. Just know that whenever you feel low that there is always this site full of lovely lovely people who really know how it feels.

    Just remember you are strong!! Living with a chronic illness is tough! 💛

    If you're still worrying about the future- councilling is also a really good idea. Ive been on and off and it's a big release to speak to someone who is completely out of the situation and can really empathise. Also speak to your gp when you're thinking about children, as what the options are, try to learn as much as possible. that's what I do. My family and friends think I'm nuts always googling everything about it on the Internet but I feel better prepared knowing so much. And it's easier to accept and face.

    Anyway!I'm just blabber ing now!

    I really hope you start to feel a little better and a little more positive.

    Really consider speaking to your doctor about maybe something to help with low moods if it keeps on happening.

    Sending lots of love!

    If you ever need someone to speak to feel free to message me!

    X

    Jordan-Melissa

  • Hi Jordan,

    Thank you so much for your kind words, its really helped me to stay calm and just accept the fact that its OK to be sad and worried sometimes. I am doing much better than I was back in December when I first had the diagnosis but when I have a bad day like yesterday it just really knocks me and my confidence about the future and what may or may not happen. I think I just took it for granted that TTC would be a nice and easy experience but I think since finding out I have endo its just made me put a lot of pressure on me and my partner and I cant seem to relax about the whole thing. I am trying though and it really helps to have support from people on here like you. My friends have been great but as they are all either pregnant or not at that stage of their lives I think they don't really realise how I feel about the whole thing. xxx

  • Hi darling, firstly there is nothing pathetic about worrying about your future, it is the most inportant thing in our life's,

    Where are you with the whole thing now, have they excised endo, do the docs think you can conceive?? Are you ttc atm

    Xxx good luck

  • Hello and thank you for your reply. I am feeling a little more composed today although still not 100%. I had my endo excised and my cyst removed in December. They also did a test on my tubes and said they are both clear and that they removed all the endo found. The surgeon said he didn't know if I would have difficulty in conceiving until I start trying. So have been TTC for since December (not long I know) I just feel so desperate sometimes, I think mainly because I just don't feel in control and just took for granted that it would be a walk in the park trying to get pregnant and it seems that wont be the case. x

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