Sorry you're feeling so down. I think it's normal, especially when you're faced with trying to get your head around something like being diagnosed with endometriosis. I think the first few months are always the hardest. I suffer from severe depression, I go up and down alot and my endometriosis is one if the things that effects me most.
I worry all the time about not being to conceive and what will happen in the future. It's completely normal to worry. There's nothing wrong with you feeling depressed about it. You have a chronic illness which really affects the way you try to live your life.
You're stronger than you think you are! Most people couldn't stay positive at all never mind for months at a time! Give u yourself some credit! If youre really feeling quite low and depressed and aren't already- I'd maybe advise going to your gp and mention this to him. There are tablets which can help manage your moods and intense feelings of anxiety or depression.
I've been on anti-depressants since I was 14 and am currently on prozac /fluxotine which is working really well for me, although I've tried amitriptyline, citroplam and such. It does help to make you feel a little calmer and less intensely low. But remember that it's okay to feel these things! It's alot to take in! Of course you're going to feel worried and anxious! Who wouldn't.
I try to take it as it comes a day at a time. Sometimes I have really good positive days too and others I just feel absolutely devastated.
As for the future, try not to worry too much about things that are out your control. Ivf and such works for alot of people, not everyone. But there's some small hope. So keep the flame burning I try to, even in my saddest days. I'd love to be a mother and the older I get the more worried I get about it! It's natural. Just know that whenever you feel low that there is always this site full of lovely lovely people who really know how it feels.
Just remember you are strong!! Living with a chronic illness is tough! 💛
If you're still worrying about the future- councilling is also a really good idea. Ive been on and off and it's a big release to speak to someone who is completely out of the situation and can really empathise. Also speak to your gp when you're thinking about children, as what the options are, try to learn as much as possible. that's what I do. My family and friends think I'm nuts always googling everything about it on the Internet but I feel better prepared knowing so much. And it's easier to accept and face.
Anyway!I'm just blabber ing now!
I really hope you start to feel a little better and a little more positive.
Really consider speaking to your doctor about maybe something to help with low moods if it keeps on happening.
Sending lots of love!
If you ever need someone to speak to feel free to message me!