Statistics and timeline on TTC (and emotional support)

[lauranash]

Hello,

This is a strange one I guess. I am trying to find some statistics to see how long it is likely to take me to get pregnant/what are my chances of getting pregnant.

This is because my BF doesn't want to have a baby before he is 35yo (in 3 years) and he asked me the “statistics”.

I am at loss with his question, but I am trying my best to get some answers.

Some information:

- I am 31 years old

- I have endometriosis stage 3 (spots of endo, a few nodules, scar tissue and adhesion pretty much everywhere in the lower abdomen, but it was removed in 2011 with a “normal” looking inside. I will probably have a third lap next year as symptoms are now back)

- Polycystic ovaries (30+ cysts)

- Retroverted uterus

- I tried to conceive unsuccessfully for about 2 years when I was 25-27yo, including two courses of induced ovulation (clomid +ovitrelle) (I never got pregnant)

I didn’t find much data in terms of statistics and timeline of successful pregnancies of women with endometriosis, classified by age and severity of the disease. Could anyone help with this?

On top of that, I need to take the administrative aspect into consideration too. How long does it take to get referred to an Assisted Conception Unit?

I am planning to move (maybe in 6 months from today) to a borough where the NHS funds 3 courses of IVF if I have been living in the borough for over 12 months. Does that mean that I could still have access to other treatments before the 12 months?

All of that to say that I am trying to guess:

1.how long should I allocate from the initial GP appointment, to the moment where the assisted conception unit would start the treatment

2.And then, what are my chances to conceive once I start the treatments

3.I also wonder at what rate my fertility declines each year and affects my chances of getting pregnant.

This is an open and messy thread, I don’t realistically expect anyone to bring straight answers. Any advice would help really as I am also in great need of emotional support…

[DaisyL]

One word.. Try. Men don't have body clocks. I'm 26 and we have decided to start trying. You don't know what problems you may have trying may take months and then being pregnant is 9 months so we have decided to be realistic and not wait. I think you need to start trying put yourself first xxx

[squidgy]

Hi there lauranash,

It is so tricky to know what our bodies are going to do and having to work out if waiting is the right thing to do.

I'm afraid I don't know any statistics but maybe hearing some of us fellow endo sufferer's stories of ttc may give you a generalised account. But like everything, everyone is different. You may have severe endo and conceive easily..or may not. You may have mild endo but have trouble to conceive.

I am 32, with severe endo on uterus, bowel, ovaries (which are blocked and engulfed by endo)..one massive big lump all stuck together the gynae told me in June last year.

My husband and I were referred to the gynae due to difficulty trying to conceive. So the first wait is for the intial gynae consultation. They will take your history and then order bloods (some to be taken at certain times of your cycle to check ovulation) and most likely a HSG scan to see if your tubes are blocked. If ovulation seems an issue they will try you on a course of Clomid to see if helps. This will of course take some months. I see from your post that you have previously tried for 2 years and had clomid but to no effect. It may be, like me that your body is not ovulating much, or it could be something else.

The HSG showed my tubes were blocked but the gynae also wanted to do a LAP to see what else was going on. This was when I finally got the endo diagnosis after many many years of fighting! But was also told IVF my only option to conceive. I was told that the referal may take up to 4 months to hear from the fertility clinic. That was in June 2014..but have since found out last week that no referal was ever done!! Apparantly now there is a new referal system where you dont have to wait to hear about funding?!

That is my story..tried to keep it as short as possible. So to answer your points I would say:

1. Allocate at least 6 months (maybe more to allow appointments for tests and consultations) from point GP refers you to gynae and they have done all the tests. Then maybe allow another few months to then hear from the conception unit. But that may be to be told you are on a waiting list.

2. Chance to conceive? Down to your body I'm afraid and what initial treatments show and then if you need IVF you have those percentages to deal with.

3. Unfortunately us women have a biological clock and the older we get they say the quality and number of eggs we produce lessen. So yes agae can be a factor against us. I know someone who was pregnant when she was 32 and told she was an "old" mum to be! But then again we hear of 40 year olds or 50 year olds having children via IVF or natural conception.

I hope some of my long post (apologies) is of help.

Good luck and best wishes x

[virginijav]

I dont know the statistics but i know one thing my ex told me the same that he does not want kids before 35 and that i wasn't even fit enough to be a mother. i was 24 and underweight because of him,( he did not let me eat what i wanted or when i wanted). but when i had my second lap and surgeon told me that i need to start making plans for having family within next two years my ex told me not to even think about it, well thats why he is ex. in 2008 i met my current partner and when he found out my condition he straight away asked me to start trying. in 2010 we had our first son, then we decided to try again unfortunately i had 4 miscarriages and finally our daughter was born last year in january, now i have stage four endometriosis and adenomyosis plus dermoid cyst on both ovaries. i am only 30 and everyday is agony my partner has to stay at home and look after me and our children because of all meds (oxycodone, morphine, antidepressants) and i have severe depression i was close to suicide because of the pain. thursday i will see my consultant specialist for the first time, the referral was made in beginning of january. previously i was seen by oncology and they done lot and lots of test and found that my endo despite contraceptive implant which was supposed to keep endo under control.

My advice to you as a woman and a mother don't wait for when he is ready to have children because your body might be damaged beyond the point of doctors help. ask yourself this would you be able to accept a life without your own children in it. what if even IVF doesnt work, what if you like me end up having one miscarriage after another could you go through this with him, could you look at him and not blame him for delaying trying to conceive and taking your chance of being a mother.

some people told me that a miscarriage is not the same as loosing a baby once it was born, but i can tell you that it still one of the worst things that could happen to a mother.