Proving them wrong on children "time span"

Has anyone been told to have children in a certain timescale then proved them wrong?

After my lap on thurs I was told not to leave it after 25 to have children (im 23 tomorrow) this seems a bit extremem and i dont really want to beleive them hahah. it is due to the endo removed been on my uterus and ovaries i beleive :)

is it literally just a guess they give you? xxx

19 Replies

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  • Hi I was told after my first lap to start trying I was 24 at the time so we started to try nothing happened for 2 yrs had a second lap in July by different consultant had endo removed from ovaries and pouch of Douglas and ligaments on both sides this wasn't properly done in the first lap. And he gave us til January to get pregnant naturally and I am sitting here now 6 weeks pregnant. U need to ask urself are u ready for that step in life at 23. And I will be 27 next month so it's not the end of the world u can have a second lap and u do have options hope that helps in some way x

  • Hi, I was told a similar thing when I was 17 (now 30, no kids yet!)

    My endo has always been controlled by hormone pill/ mirena. Had an op last August and they said there is no reason why I shouldn't get pregnant so that was amazing news 13 yrs down the line. Got to wait till March before we can start trying so fingers crossed! Don't take what they say as gospel! X

  • I was told at 21 to have children sooner rather than later. I had a beautiful daughter at 39 , although it was via IVF as I had two blocked Fallopian tubes due to the ivf. They must have been blocked for some time as I didn't use contraceptives from the age of 30. In hindsight I wish I'd tried ivf earlier, only because motherhood is so exhausting with the added fatigue of endo. I feel I would have had more energy even at 30 than 39. Xxx

  • I've had two laps and no end of scans. Just about to try injections as I am no way ready for kids (I'm 27).

    My GP said to start trying last year, which was wrong and stressful advice!

    Do what you like, when you feel ready I think :)

  • I think gynaecologists see a lot of women for fertility issues and you can bet they all say I wish I tried sooner. They aren't guessing, they need to be on the perhaps harsh side of realistic. You are at the most fertile you will ever be between 20 and 24, after that your fertility declines. They don't say it to every woman with endo, they say it to those with fast growing endo located in areas known to cause fertility issues. It doesn't mean that they are right, every case of endo is different. And I think infertility pages are more full of PCOS sufferers than endo sufferers, just my opinion. But I know someone who at 24 cannot have children. Endo has eaten her tubes. There is also that Australian rugby players wife who at 25 cannot have children. Yes, they are both able to consider IVF but the later has already had her endo intensivised by repeated failed IVF and IVF is a horrible treatment. If you are successful 'it's all worth it' but it's not a club any woman wants to join. So yes, by all means, if it's not your focus right now then you can wait, you are aware of the risks and that you will probably need assisted conception which is not uncommon nowadays endo or not.

    I was told at 21 it was too late. I have a beautiful daughter I conceived naturally but after surgery when I received this news and I am now pregnant again :) again I was told no chance. But for me motherhood had always been my purpose and I'd already met the one so my decision was easy. I will be scheduled for a hysterectomy once I'm finished breastfeeding and before I'm 26 so that still upsets me. So no they aren't just trying to scare you, I think they just want the chance you'll be the happy woman in their office, not the crying one. But ultimately you're still in charge and if you're not ready, you're not. Best of luck with your endo. And ps I have found its helped a bit to get pregnant although it still grows faster than wildfire xxx

  • I'm 18 and was told at 16 to have kids before I was 21, I am now 9+3 weeks pregnant. I have been trying since I was 16 and nothing has happened until I had removal 5 months ago. I would say there is a timeline, we aren't as fertile as other women who don't have Endo. Many teenage girls at 16 have one night stands and get pregnant, instead I'm trying for two years and only get pregnant after Endo excision. I would say don't rush it, do it when you are ready but you cant regret your decision. I would have felt extremely guilty if I hadn't tried now to have a baby. It is the best decision I've ever made and I know that years from now I will be forever grateful that I managed to fall pregnant now as I don't know my chances had I left it until I was older.

    End of the day its up to you but I just wouldn't want any regrets in the future if I hadn't tried now. Its a shock as to just how prepared you are without realising it.

    Good luck either way.

    Leya xx

  • I've been told this aswel I'm 22 and I hate the pressure tbh but I think the risk of going against what they have advised just isn't worth it :( x

  • Interesting reading. I'm 24 awaiting my first lap after being diagnosed through physical exam. For me, I feel if I don't start trying post op then I know then I'd blame myself if I couldn't later on down the line. I do feel pressure not to though as my situation is not ideal but I don't think it ever will be.....tough decisions! Good luck either way :)

  • I had a lap in January followed by 6 months decapeptyl injections. I was advised after these I would have roughly a year (my window of opportunity) to start trying to conceive. My partner and I have been together 7 years now and are very settled we decided to go for it fully preparing it could take a while. well it didn't im currently 8 weeks pregnant after falling pregnant the very first time we tried. If I had know it would happen so fast then there is a chance we would have waited a little longer but I wasn't willing to risk it. Xxx

  • I had a lap in January followed by 6 months decapeptyl injections. I was advised after these I would have roughly a year (my window of opportunity) to start trying to conceive. My partner and I have been together 7 years now and are very settled we decided to go for it fully preparing it could take a while. well it didn't im currently 8 weeks pregnant after falling pregnant the very first time we tried. If I had know it would happen so fast then there is a chance we would have waited a little longer but I wasn't willing to risk it. Xxx

  • I personally found it really unhelpful when at 23 my doctor said the same thing. I was single and at university so hearing " maybe you shouldn't leave it too long" made me feel even more emotional and stressed than I already was! Might have been useful for the gyne to have the conversation about where I was in my life before telling me his stock endo phrase.

    I myself, decided that I needed to make sure it was the right time me. If my body didn't agree, then so be it. I haven't felt until now I'm ready to be mum. Not for selfish reasons but because I didn't think I could provide ( emotionally and financially) before now. I think it's important u and your partner discuss what's right for u as a couple and not just feel pressured by the gyne or anyone else. Like every decision, take the advice, maybe get a second opinion, do some research ( like u are here), then decide. AFree doing research We are not adverse to considering adoption if need to so the pressure is off a bit for us x

  • My daughter was 19 when she had 1st laparoscopy and then thanks to clomid had twins at 20

    then the real truth showed in Hashimotos

    HOWEVER be warned those twins also have Endo from age 16 and at mere 19 they too are hit with Hashimotos

    Where did this all come from ?

    My husbands Mother !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If only I had known the genetic inheritance healthy me would pass to my kids and grandkids via my husband

    things would be very different ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,think very very carefully indeed

  • It's really interesting to hear all yyour views and experiences regarding this. I cannot stress enough how much it has helped.

    We both have our degrees, my partner is in a well established job very secure financially. Own our own home too. I'm not where I want to be job wise but I do have a full time well paying job. I just sort of planned everything our different for myself than how it's actually panning out I guess!!

    After discussion we have decided to wait until the middle of the year (August) and then start trying. Realistically we need that long before zoladex etc Will allow my cycle to be bck to normal! Also it would make my partner 25 by the time a child were to be born if by some miracle we were to get caught fast.

    Scary stuff! But as many of you have pointed out, I can imagine no worse feeling than thinking I wish I'd tried when I had the chance.

    Xxx

  • Hi I was told at 18 it was a now or never moment, luckily I had a partner and we both agreed we would try. By the time I had it all layered out and my courses of medication I fell pregnant on my 21st birthday. I don't regret it a bit, I'm not a gambler lol.

    Hope everything works out ok for you what ever you decide to do.

  • thankyou joanne :) We have decided to start trying april/may time. I cant start any sooner due to waiting for zoladex to be out my system and ovulation to return etc

    hopefully it wont take too long of trying! xxx

  • Im in the same situation as you :) just waiting on finishing zoladex and then we can hopefully start trying. Im 22 but will be 23 by the time zoladex has left my system. Not sure if they will decide to give me a lap once this has finished but fingers crossed this treatment will help us to conceive at the end of the year!

    Goodluck when you start trying! Please keep us updated! Xxx

  • ahhh andys girl!! so lovely (for want of a better word) to find someone in the same situation as myself!!! good luck to you too!! xxx

  • Good luck, hope everything works out ok.

  • I believe them. I was told at 24 to hurry up, I am utterly broken inside now and IVF may work if I'm lucky. I don't regret it as I had other things to do with my life but have to accept now at 37 it might not happen. Adoption is a positive option too.

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