Fear coming out in my dreams

[givemeananswer]

I had some very detailed dreams about going for surgery to correct my pain. I won't bore you with it but I think what it boils down to is I want to be clear with the gynecologist I meet with Dec. 11. I've already been turned down by a different one a couple months ago and my husband asked me what am I gonna do if this one does the same. In my head i grab them by the scruff of the collar and tell them no is not an option. But realistically I can't carry on through life like this because I know the cause of my pain is due to adhesion's or endo or ovarian cyst or all three as it has been prior to my hysterectomy 11 years ago.

I'm not good at confrontation, to some it comes naturally. I feel like a runner barely making it to the finish line though just for the initial appointment. I knew I was going to have to first jump through all the hoops that the GP send me to for tests, physio all the while knowing they weren't gonna to find the true diagnosis.

My back hurts everyday, and during one week I am bed ridden I believe it's when I'm ovulating, I have one day when I'm too dizzy to get out of bed.

Anyway I don't want to seem condescending to the specialist whose made a life out of helping women with this disease. But I want to make sure that the area that I think is affecting my pain, the sciatic nerve, doesn't get overlooked. I don't even know if that would require a seperate operation or if it is accessible during a key hole lap. Anyone know?

And I want to make sure he excises the endo he finds not burn it, cause I think it's like a weed if you don't pluck out it's entirety it will just keep coming up again.

I also want to give permission if my ovaries are the culprits to have them removed at that time as well, I am 50 years old and although I can't use HRT I figure it's the only assurance that I won't have to go through all of this is my lifetime again.

I am sad, fearful and tired. I am not depressed, but if I were taking pain killers or hormones I definitely would be. I am too sensitive. I cannot function as a regular human working day to day. I have been at home for 17 years now.

By the way I'm in Canada, Alberta to be specific. And found this doc's name through the endo resolved web site. So I'm really hoping he treats me more sympathetically than the last one. There is only one doc specializing in endo listed on that site in the city closest to me. Wish me luck.

Please anyone with advice on this sciatic nerve root endo operation please share, actually any advice is welcome. Thanks for reading

givemeananswer