Tough day, any advice?

So after 2 laps, an appendix removed and general untangling I am trying to conceive in my late 30s. I know I've left it late but I've only just found Mr Star (so lucky with that). I've been on the pill for over 20 years and my body is now dealing with a complete roller coaster of hormones, pains, mood swings, spots along with all the endo symptoms such as dizziness, nausea, being faddy with my food due to various digestive problems and of course the pain which is now very up and down across my cycle instead of around my period (which I was only having every 3 months due to tricycling).

Many friends have just had babies, more are pregnant and I feel very isolated, I can't really talk to anyone about this apart from my partner. Work colleagues are very crass and intrusive. People I hardly know keep asking me: When are you going to have a baby? Married now, pregnant by October was a comment from another female colleague who hardly knows me. Other comments have been made about the fact that I had time off work after my operation which was not straightforward and left me feeling rather down. I feel so sensitive about this to the extent that I was quite rude to the person at work who kept pushing me about my op. Closest and very fertile friend who is pregnant again has encouraged me to hurry up. As I am sure you will realise all of these comments have made me either pretty grumpy or if said on the worst possible days, very, very teary. I am very tired, have trouble sleeping sometimes because of the pain. I'm taking vitamins, trying to exercise which seems harder after this second operation and am also working f/t in a reasonably stressful job.

Any advice about what I can do next to make this any easier? My GP is very good, she wants to to stress less I think. I'm thinking about doing some acupuncture to see if that helps. It's reasonably early days but I worry about what the endo is doing (getting worse no doubt as I am off all medication.) I'm just hoping for some support and advice if I am honest. Should I look into the next steps with my gynae? Although I'm not sure that any intervention if for me. Thanks.

3 Replies

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  • Sorry if I missed it in your post, but how long have you been trying? My gp has said that I would be able to get an earlier referral to fertility clinic due to having endo if I need it. Usually you have to try to conceive for 1yr but she said I might be able to get one at 6months. Ive only just started trying to conceive. To increase your chances of conceiving you might want to start tracking ovulation or using ovulation tests to make sure your doing the deed during your most fertile period. I know its super easy to say but reducing your stress is likely to increase your chances of conceiving.

    Unfortunately you cant always change the ways others think, or what they say. Im sure the majority of people arent trying to be mean, and just dont understand your current situation. Trying for a baby is an emotional time without the extra concerns having endo, and being older may bring. Its ok to feel how you are, but if you feel your emotions are getting out of control and affecting day to day life, have a chat with your gp as they may be able to advise on strategies to use.

    Thoughts are with you x

  • Thanks for your reply. It's only been a few months for us but I think that there is endometriosis on my intestine so I am feeling very worried about this.

    I am tracking my fertile times but feeling very stressed about the whole thing again. Just want to have a few weeks where I'm not in pain and have energy again.

  • Hope your ok, this is such an awful situation to be in, I really feel for you, I've just bought a clearblue fertility monitor so it will help us to judge when is the best time to try each month, maybe that would help you? And you could keep it between just you and your partner no one else needs to be involved, my next option after this is fertility treatment as been ttc for 2 years. X x

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