Sex ED and colitis

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Trying to navigate the problem of having erectile dysfunction, but needing the release sex provides, as pleasure in our marriage and stress relief.

Having Ulcerative colitis and Ankylosing spondylitis makes you tired and affects your mobility quite a bit and tends to make foreplay a bit difficult and what pleasure gain from it to get an erection is soon gone because of fatigue and pain, so you become flaccid again.

Then there is the other problem with my wife whom i am a carer to, she had a rough ride physically and mentally for some time now and suffers from fibromyalgia, her libido is practically nonexistent, but she goes through with it because it is part of us and I need the relief so to get rid of my stress.

My question is, does anybody know a solution, heard of one, to deal with this? I take meds for it, i also tried vacuum pumps but none is working.

Stories and fantasies do but my wife is not interested in those.

Any ideas appreciated.