When people say pride comes before a fall, they are not kidding. My first post grad run sucked. stuff hurt and i didn't push through it and i wimped out after 23 or so minutes. That messed with my motivation, because... I'd done more, and if i couldn't repeat it, what good was all of that effort and emotion? well, It was alot of good. this program, if nothing else, gives you the chance to see that bad runs happen and that good ones are worth dragging your demoralized self through every motivational pro-running thing on the internet and getting hyped up to get back out and try it again.
For anyone who's needing some motivation:
that video was helpful to me. if you think of yourself as running for the way it feels to hit the lowest point, to run into the darkest place and then keep going till you're on the other side of it, then "it's starting to hurt," "i'm getting tired" are signs saying you're on the right road and not ones telling you to stop. besides by that point you're a sweaty, snot leaking mess, so really you may as well be that and a happy one who finished the run.
I pulled out the stamina podcast for the second run, and stopped it after i'd run for half an hour, because good advice, particularly my own, is easier to give than to act out. i felt better though, gratified that i hadn't somehow managed to lose the fitness that got me through graduating the program.
Today, i went all out and i finished the Stamina podcast, telling myself all the way that i could totally stop after half an hour, or i really could just stop after 3.1 miles. as is often the case with me, my body felt tired but fine to keep going just a little bit longer, but i kept putting my own ideas about what that 'little bit' could be in the way of just ...trying. today i told myself to shut up and i have never loved the sound of laura's voice telling me to walk again more than i did at the end of this run, but i did it. 3.3 miles including the warm up and cool down. i'm speaking out of utter astonishment, and after the admitted melodrama of my 1 day dark night of the runner's soul i officially give up the right to be taken seriously in regards to running.
I stared an on paper running log but i purposefully didn't leave room to narrate like this, so the blogging will continue and one of these days i'll stop doing multirun entries, because i really do attempt to write them after each run, i just only succeed about every other time.
Thanks for reading and happy running,