And so to Tuesday night, where having not ran since Saturday I decided to lay out my kit for a run in the morning. This laying out ritual is, as far as I am concerned, akin to having it on and opening the door, so you'll see that as much as I'm struggling with keeping at it, I'd committed to going out once again. I then set my alarm for the usual 5 am, climbed into my scratcher and nodded off.
As usual I awoke several times during the night and at some stage I decided against and that was that. I'm one decisive mo fo when I want to be!
Except that I then woke again at 04.48, just twelve minutes before the bell and realising I'd decided not to run, I thought I'd check my alarm as although I thought I'd reset it for 6 am (for work) I wasn't sure. It was still set at 5 am so I made the switch and put my head back down on the pillow, at which point a question reared its ugly head, namely,
"why do I continue with the runs, despite not enjoying them"?
A myriad of thoughts went through my head:
Mrs Fingalo is thinking of starting C25k and given that she has been inspired by my running, I do not want to discourage her. Also I've had my bicycle repaired and serviced so she can come out with me for a few weeks first.
It would be a waste of the effort I've made.
Better weather coming in.
Liking that I do it and chatting about it with anyone interested.
My C25k t-shirt would be wasted, never having seen the light of day. (Only worn under my jacket).
Am now accustomed to running in the light now so will enjoy seeing the sea/sights now it's getting lighter in the mornings.
I'd potentially miss the challenge.
My mate running in the local marathon in a few weeks
My ego.
The Parkruns.
A second pair of runners bought that would go unused.
Feeling stupid for buying said runners, given my doubts.
Enjoying getting up and out so early.
The folk on this board and enjoying writing about it.
These thoughts were ready and waiting to assault me and so you'll understand it was a matter of seconds for me to process them and before I knew it, I was out of bed and into the bathroom. A long wee and a quick wash and by five past five I was on the way out.
I am aware that some of my answers are more important than others (some are downright trivial, to be honest) yet while not a single one could I point to as a motivating force, once combined they obviously had the desired effect. This time.
I went with the cheese again, it got me around the Parkrun course so I felt I owed it, I then marched down to the seafront for what I suddenly realised (remembered?) would be my first run on my old stomping ground for exactly two weeks.
It was a grand morning for it, dry with a nice chill in the air and once I reached the shore, I set up the MMR guy and off I went on my favoured route, away from, instead of in to, town.
Unusually for me I found it quite comfortable quite soon, perhaps it was the familiarity of the route but well before 2k I was already thinking of maybe doing 4k on the flat of the front and the final kilometre uphill to home. How good a track is Whitesnake's Here I Go Again is to run to, by the way? Anyway before 3km I was thinking of staying on the flat but adding a km instead and clocking up a 6k run for the first time in a few weeks.
I was contemplating this (and enjoying Foreigner's Cold As Ice) when Millionaires Row came into view, it was then I realised it was already beginning to get light, as I'd usually have to be much closer to see the white beachfront properties of the Brighton celebrity set. Around the time I reached them and turned for home the street lights went out, it struck me how well timed the council have it (I made a mental note to email my appreciation of their careful use of my taxes) as once my eyes adjusted I could see reasonably well and within five minutes it was daylight, or as well as.
As an aside, I was surprised to see only three or four other runners throughout the time I was out, what with it being light halfway through and the marathon only a matter of weeks away.
As I approached 4k things changed, I realised I was now finding it quite tough and halfway through the succeeding kilometre I knew adding anything on was a pipe dream, I was slightly disappointed but dug deep and settled for what I'd set out to do, a 5k on my usual route. As it transpired it was a few seconds faster than Saturday's Parkrun and as such, my second fastest ever. That said, while I was pleased at that seeing as I'd had to grind it out, I realise I do not really attach much importance to my times in themselves but more as an explanation (or compensation) for how difficult a run has been.
My warm down walk back home was also indicative, as I usually recover quite quickly. This time I was absolutely delighted to have to stop to allow a couple of cars go by when I reached the road (I actually had my hands on my knees) and still felt quite rough as I opened my front door. I'd also been too fecked to think of switching off the music when it suddenly seemed to be torturing instead of nurturing me, there really is no excuse for We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister! I also completely forgot to switch off the app, so skewing my results. Ho hum.
All in all a bit of a toughie but that was yesterday and it's behind me now, next run is tomorrow morning as I am marshalling at the Parkrun on Saturday so won't be running that morning. I'm quite looking forward to chatting with the other marshalls, also I want to see if I can get a position in the finishing funnel as I would love to see the really fast guys coming in, although I suppose it being my first time I'll not have that choice as I imagine it's one of the popular positions.
Now, I must away, I have an important missive to write.
Dear Council
I would like to say how while rubbish collection seems to be arbitrary, the roads are in bits, grafitti is almost encouraged and the streets can often resemble Glastonbury after a weekend of debauched musically inspired revelry, how happy I am at the absolutely perfect timing of your street light switches.
Regards
Vampire Runner Of Hove.
Thats made my day.I think I did that run with you and am knackered. I just read your Parkrun 2 blog. Im so glad you're working through why you run and are continuing. And that you're still keeping us entertained with your blog. Nice to have you back (not that I think you really went anywhere.....). Now I think I might make some adjustments to my playlist....
Off the couch at 53, graduated at 54 and still running at 55.
The Joy of Running
Accidentally running at altitude!
Any tips for running in these dark mornings?
