Bit of a checkered week really. SInce my graduation run I have been a bit out of kilter, but still managing to keep going.
Friday last week I managed a 6.8K run which was awesome and very off road. I also ended up with knotty lumps on the muscles behind my left knee and low right thigh that was extremely tender and stopped me running until Wednesday, when I managed 3.2 K around my favourite route mainly on farm tracks and my knots were OK.
Today I went for another run- so I dropped the OH off at the gym (he is now banned from anything to do with my running and I still haven't really forgiven him) arranging to meet afterwards and have a stretch, swim, steam and shower. I had planned to go and visit the new local ParkRun, but was too late and too low in confidence about my ability to do it any faster than a walking pace.
Headed off to a local reservoir. However, got sidetracked, stopped at a park en route and ended up starting to do a run down a path that turned very muddy. Turned round, started again, freaked out because there was loads of dog walkers, football players and another middle aged runner who completely wooped my butt as she swished past me looking very grim!!! Ran for about 26 minutes doing some of Laura's speed podcast, ran past my car, thought b---r it and sat in the car going 'I am going to give up on this one'. Felt really defeated - mentally rather than physically, did the old 'i am so slow and crap I might as well give up' routine, felt miserable for a bit and then my bolshie voice kicked in -'get out there - make it worth your while and do another 10 minutes at least woman' So I leapt out of the car and shot off, completed my extra 10 minutes (not at the speed I started but....!)
But that was a tough one.... pushing myself not to give up and be defeated. Once again it is low self esteem/negative voice in the head stuff. As soon as there are people any where near me I start to compare and put myself down. On my own I am absolutely fine, listen to my body and do things at my own pace in my own time and push when I am ready.
Lesson learnt today ---
1.don't run in busy town parks at 9AM on a Saturday
2. don't run where there are lots of people,
3. Always plan my run before I leave home
4. Wait for 'that' voice to kick in - I know it is always there ready to spur me on when I am having a less successful run than usual
Have a good weekend everyone.