Some days it is just too difficult!!!!

[Ginthestring]

Bit of a checkered week really. SInce my graduation run I have been a bit out of kilter, but still managing to keep going.

Friday last week I managed a 6.8K run which was awesome and very off road. I also ended up with knotty lumps on the muscles behind my left knee and low right thigh that was extremely tender and stopped me running until Wednesday, when I managed 3.2 K around my favourite route mainly on farm tracks and my knots were OK.

Today I went for another run- so I dropped the OH off at the gym (he is now banned from anything to do with my running and I still haven't really forgiven him) arranging to meet afterwards and have a stretch, swim, steam and shower. I had planned to go and visit the new local ParkRun, but was too late and too low in confidence about my ability to do it any faster than a walking pace.

Headed off to a local reservoir. However, got sidetracked, stopped at a park en route and ended up starting to do a run down a path that turned very muddy. Turned round, started again, freaked out because there was loads of dog walkers, football players and another middle aged runner who completely wooped my butt as she swished past me looking very grim!!! Ran for about 26 minutes doing some of Laura's speed podcast, ran past my car, thought b---r it and sat in the car going 'I am going to give up on this one'. Felt really defeated - mentally rather than physically, did the old 'i am so slow and crap I might as well give up' routine, felt miserable for a bit and then my bolshie voice kicked in -'get out there - make it worth your while and do another 10 minutes at least woman' So I leapt out of the car and shot off, completed my extra 10 minutes (not at the speed I started but....!)

But that was a tough one.... pushing myself not to give up and be defeated. Once again it is low self esteem/negative voice in the head stuff. As soon as there are people any where near me I start to compare and put myself down. On my own I am absolutely fine, listen to my body and do things at my own pace in my own time and push when I am ready.

Lesson learnt today ---

1.don't run in busy town parks at 9AM on a Saturday

2. don't run where there are lots of people,

3. Always plan my run before I leave home

4. Wait for 'that' voice to kick in - I know it is always there ready to spur me on when I am having a less successful run than usual

Have a good weekend everyone.

[Gridlet Graduate]

Good on you for getting out in the first place and massive respect for picking yourself up and going for that last 10minutes! I must admit, I too compare and put myself down but we shouldn't! Everyone is at different stages and there will always be lesser and better than us. One day, you will be overtaking another runner and won't that feel good!

[Ginthestring Graduate in reply to Gridlet]

I can live in hope - suspect it will be after i do 5K in 30 minutes!!! It is weird just how good we are at doing our selves down..... But I was pleased Mrs Arsey kicked in and made me do the extra bit!!!

[Mitts Graduate]

Heavens Gin - you ran for 26 minutes+ and then again for 10 - sounds like a pretty good workout to me! And 6.8K is fantastic! I think you're doing brilliantly and don't let any inner voices tell you different.

I sort of like the Speed podcast too. I've done it 4 times since I graduated (more than once a week is just too horrendous), the first time nearly ended my sojourn on this planet but I do notice a difference every time I do it. In between I do Stamina and own music runs, one of which is a watered down version of Speed. Yesterday I finished Speed really going to Laura's beat and ran on till I hit 5K - that would have been impossible first try at that podcast, when I was only fit to grab the nearest tree and hug it when Laura said 'that's it'.

Just ignore any grim runners, we all feel grim sometimes...

And I agree completely that groups of dogwalkers are to be avoided wherever possible - I actually turned round yesterday, first time I've ever done that, but there were just too many approaching at once... the way of least resistance can be the best way!

Happy running!

[Ginthestring Graduate]

I know what you mean about the speed pod cast!!! When I went back out for my last ten minutes I ran what my OH would call 'properly' - long strides pumping arms - three minutes later I slowed down to my usual pace, puffing like a steam engine and jogged gently for the remaining time despairing of ever sustaining that pace.

I really like the audio fuel music - it is very well produced - apart from the 1,2,3,4 tempo setting which is slightly out of time to my ears (teach Music!!)

You have inspired me to do some intervals tomorrow. Thank you!!

[Vivwestie Graduate]

Blimey I think you did great. You didn't give up - I like the sound of your Mrs Arsey!

Perhaps a parkrun is just what you need to show yourself that you're not as slow as you think and that you can woop others arses!