I’ve graduated....BUT....plus my note to all who helped me :)

[DrEdFullyunfit]

Hello all,

I graduated on Saturday 7th - yaaay!

My graduation run was my first Parkrun which I completed in a time of 35:28 and I came 102 out of 150 for our team NHSC25K.

A Parkrun is definitely different to completing a normal run, I’m not a sociable runner at all and hate people seeing me run - I don’t even discuss my running with friends - but this is different, you’re all in it together and we all finish - looking equally knackered - together (more of less) If anyone is thinking of trying one, go for it, it’s more fun than you’d think.

The increase from 30 mins to 35, combined with switch from warm up walk to warm up exercises, put a bit of strain on my legs and so I’ve suffered a bit and had to work on that.

I’m kind of stuck from where to go from here, a bit lost with no particular goal. I want to keep running 5k three times a week to include a Parkrun each week. Looks as though the Parkruns may be out for a while now though. The plan is consolidation runs simply to reinforce the habit of running. That’s all I need right now and about as much as I want to put on myself.

This all sounds great, but it’s not feeling great. Sadly, the day after my graduation, for no apparent reason, my depression hit again big time and I’m struggling to carry out my daily activities - I’m managing it at the moment, but it’s really hard. It affects everything and it is easy to cease to function. This is a bit of a bad episode. I’m normally really active and I like to be busy so the change is very obvious. I’m on my own during the week with four teenagers and I run my own business, there’s an autopilot who kicks in sometimes, but it’s not enough to meet those needs and autopilot is threatening to shut down too - I don’t blame it!

I did another Parkrun last week but had to walk at 3.5K, my head just told me I can’t do it and I stopped dead. There was no reason, my legs didn’t hurt, breathing fine, just my head said stop and I did. I looked like an idiot as I forced myself around the last 1.5K shouting at myself under my breath (yes, possible) to just RUN. I walked, ran, cried, shouted, walked, ran and got a new PB of 35.16. No runners high, no celebration. Nothing. I’ve just switched off it seems. I’ve not run since and I’m sat here now trying to get myself together to go out and run before work; but the clock is ticking and I’m out of time and very late for work.

Sorry for the self indulgent post, but I guess I needed to tell someone how it is! The photo is a storm which passed over my running route, it passed, things do.

What I really wanted to say to everyone on here is a huge Thank You. You’ve all run with me in my mind so many times. I ran my first Parkrun with you all in my mind, all the way round, every metre, so really you’ve all done one already without even knowing - easy 🤣

We’ve shared our journeys of how we all had to overcome demons of varying sizes to get through that really hard run or force ourselves to go out when we didn’t feel we could. We’ve celebrated each other’s successes and I have completed this course because of the time and support each of you gave to me and we have to each other on this amazing forum.

Thank you, everyone.

Dr Ed x

[sTrongFuse Graduate]

I completely relate. Like you, I'm someone who manages depression by basically keeping busy. I tend to plan my weekends so that I have things to do to ensure I don't have time to mope. This weekend, with the forced cancellation of a few things I had in my diary knocked me sideways and I felt as low as I have for quite a while.

I think you've also experienced the "graduation drop"; having had something to work towards, having achieved it you suddenly find yourself at an anticlimactic loose end. For me, last year, I started looking at events (e.g. Race for Life etc.) to give me a new target but I realise that this year that isn't currently an option.

All I can suggest is try to set some personally running goals. Keeping the three times a week habit is good. Maybe try making one of those a bit longer; add say a 5 minute or 500m step up every couple of weeks. Make one a speed session and try and knock a few seconds of your best time. Really, just mix-and-match and enjoy it.

For me running has become an integral part of my self-care routine, and after 30+ years it was good to find something that benefits both my mental and physical health.

I'm sure you will get lots of support here, but feel free to use the chat option if you need to reach out to someone who understands.

Take care.

[Teener2]

I find posting on here after every run helps. I dont realy talk to my friends and family about my runs but you guys always know how I felt that day! Just because you've graduated doesn't mean you cant still do that. We're all here for each other!

[Sadie-runs Graduate]

Firstly, massive well done on graduating, Ed! It is a huge achievement and I for one am very pleased and proud of you. 👏👏👏

Secondly, working on consolidation for a while is what you should be doing, no goals needed as such, okay. Plenty of time in the future for that. I know you want to keep running for 30 minutes, but I appreciate the added challenge of fighting an episode of depression makes this hard. It’s a weird thing - so much of running is in the head, so if you run or try to run whilst depressed, it can be incredibly hard to keep going (I know this from experience), even if your body feels fine. And, the sad irony is, running can actually help your depression. So all in all it’s hugely frustrating.

So, why not try this: if you are fighting a mental battle about whether to run or not, try a short run. Perhaps tell yourself you are only going out for 10 mins/1 mile? I know we all feel the pressure to consolidate with 30 min runs, but for now you need to look after yourself, and a short burst of running is better than no run at all, but will be enough to give you a little mental/physical boost. I have done this myself, and it works, trust me.

I am rooting for you, Ed.

[Oldgirlruns Graduate]

You’ve got a lot going on there DrEd but you’re quite correct- you know we’re all there supporting you. You asked what you might do next now you’ve graduated. First off is to do those consolidation runs- 30 mins 3 times a week for 3 weeks. That’ll help build up strength. When I did mine I couldn’t quite cope with being out there on my own so I just kept repeating the graduation run. At the end I felt more confident about doing my own thing. After that you could step over to the Bridge site and maybe think about following Ju-Ju’s ‘magic’ plan which takes you to 10k - but there are links to other ideas too. And finally Parkrun - don’t beat yourself up about not running the whole thing. Lots of people walk the whole thing and loads will do a walk/run mix. You’re disappointed because you wanted to run but no-one thought you were an idiot because you stopped at 3.5k, they were just pleased to see you there! Did you go off too fast do you think- I always start at the back and it’s quite difficult to keep my own pace at the start and not go haring off after those speedy types in front of me (that’s everyone else!). And you got a PB for heaven’s sake, of course we’ll celebrate that - you know we love a celebration here on the forum! So take care of yourself, keep running, keep posting!

[Forest_Run_Beginner]

I don't have much to add to the wonderful words from our fellow forum members above other than take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and don't forget that we are all here for you

And when you feel ready to get back to it, happy running and keep posting

[IannodaTruffe Mentor]

Congratulations on your graduation, fellow runner.

This guide to post C25k running may be helpful healthunlocked.com/couchto5...

Keep running, keep smiling.

[dieOR5k Graduate]

Why is falling into a hole so easy and crawling out so hard? When you're ready to crawl out, we're here. Get up and do as much or as little as you can, but do get up. You have crazy running people waiting for you.