Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are run days and today was due to be my final run of C25K. I usually run in the evening, but Life got in the way - I had to be at work early and at choir practice in the evening (yes, a woman of many talents), so I decided that rather than putting off my graduation run, I would get up early and go before work. I was up at 6, out by 6.30 (Just as well, seeing as North Wales had turned into a monsoon zone by early afternoon.) Running was not easy this morning – possibly my hardest run since week 1. For a kickoff, I am not a natural morning person. Mornings are for sleeping, grunting rudely at anyone who speaks before 8.30am and drinking strong coffee. They are not for crawling out of bed, half asleep, putting on running gear and forcing your body to run before it’s even properly woken up, or had a poo. To add insult to injury, my wireless headphones wouldn’t sync with my phone, so I didn’t even have any music to listen to. I’m usually very good at overriding any negative thoughts my brain may try to trick me with, but the silence in my head, together with the fact that my brain and my body were both still asleep and therefore not cooperating with each other meant that this happened:
Brain: 3 minutes! You’ve been running for 3 bloody minutes! Why don’t you just give up and go home for coffee and toast. And perhaps a little snooze?
Me: No, I can’t give up after only 3 minutes. That’d be totally pathetic.
Brain: OK, that’s 5 minutes now. You’ve made your point. We all know now that you can get out of bed if you have to. And you’ve not had a poo yet this morning. Give it up!
Me:
No. 5 minutes is half of 10 minutes. !0 minutes is half of 20 minutes. 20 minutes is nearly 30 minutes.
Brain: It’s not – it’s f***ing ages away. Stop running you mad bitch!
Me: Well, maybe I could give up …
Brain: Yes! Yes! Give it up. You’ve done eight minutes now. Go home and have a poo. What are you running for anyway?
Me: Well, I’m fitter and I feel better. And I’m lots thinner. I’ve bought myself some new leggings as a treat for graduating. I can’t have them if I don’t finish.
Brain: So? You’ll probably look stupid and fat in them anyway.
Me: P**s off, Brain!
Brain: Oh, did I mention you’ve not had a poo yet this morning?
Me: Shut up. I’m not even thinking of stopping until I get to 20 minutes.
Brain: Look at the Fatbitch. Go on, look at the Fatbitch. (Fatbitch is what my brain calls Fitbit)
Me: No. It’ll say I’m going really slowly and that it’s only 30 seconds since I last looked.
Brain: Yeah, ‘cos you’re crap. Talking of crap, don’t you need a poo?
Me: No! I’ve done 18 minutes. I’m going to finish.
Brain: You’ll never do it. Your breathing’s diabolical. Why can’t you breathe this morning? Perhaps you’re going to die.
Me: I’m not going to die. Not right now anyway. That’s why I’m doing this – so I might live a bit longer and not have a heart attack or a stroke.
Brain: Well if you do die, you’ll probably crap yourself when it happens because you’ve NOT HAD A POO THIS MORNING!! And you’ve done 25 minutes now. Stop it!
Me: Only 5 more minutes. I am NOT stopping.
Brain: OK, but spend these last 5 minutes looking at Fatbitch and watching the seconds tick away agonisingly slowly.
Me: OK.
So I did. I looked at Fatbitch approximately every 4 seconds for the remaining time, feeling just horrible and wanting so, so badly to give in to Bastard Brain. But I didn’t. I finished. I ran 30 minutes. I did it in the early morning, in horrible muggy weather. I did without having had a poo first. I did it after nearly 7 months (on and off, due to cataract operations and back injury) of trying. I have done it through rain, wind, snow, hail, heat, with blisters on my feet (until I got my decent shoes), with pains in my back, and my left knee, with arthritis in my toes, with high blood pressure, with redundancy looming, with all the utter b******s that life throws at all of us. I absolutely BLOODY did it! I didn’t get to 5k in my 30 minutes. I was a tiny bit short of 4k, and I’m happy with that. But only for now. I’m going to carry on doing it and doing it and doing it until I can run 5k in 30 minutes. And then until I can run 6k, 7k, 8k …. who knows? Seven months ago (even two months ago), I would never have believed I could do this, so who knows? I am unbelievably proud, and probably completely insufferable to live with.
Graduation day!!!
GRADUATION DAY!!! 
Graduation day 👩🎓
It’s my graduation day 👩🎓 
