The heat has broken me, chewed me up, and spat me back out with disgust. Running outside is no longer an option. I popped down to the gym earlier 'for a practice sesh'. I've only ever walked on a treadmill before, and even then I'm not entirely sure why I was doing that. Treadmills have scared the heebee jeebees out of me since Ashley crashed and burned big time in season 9 of Biggest Loser USA.
My plan today was to learn how to walk on the machine, get some balance (am I the only one who thinks it's like balancing on a tightrope??) and possibly do a run tomorrow. I enter the gym: it is Arctic cold! Hell hath indeed frozen over. I gleefully contemplate all the new winter running gear I will need to buy to run inside. Feel very pleased to be wearing my favourite leggings with stripes down the side. Stripes make you go faster, you see. (Spoiler alert: they absolutely did not). Thankfully there's only one other person in there and she's doing a cracking sallenson pace on the treadmill a few down from me. I pray to the demons who hound me that she is too involved in her own run to notice the total novice at a standstill on the running machine, pushing buttons, sighing, and swearing. It ends up being a lot more straightforward than I gave it credit for: press [START], the machine moves, begin walking. Doh.
Sigh. Total rookie, again. So many mistakes, listed below chronologically (not in order of stupidity, that's always variable):
1. Not having music set up.
2. Trying to press tiny screen on watch to start music while balancing on a tightrope.
3. Deciding that the practice session is dumb and that I will, in fact, run for 25 mins today.
4. Immediately deciding after that that I will, in fact, run for 30 mins today.
5. Setting the incline to 4%.
6. Setting the pace for 8km per hour.
I start running. And I am totally f***** within 5 minutes. Frantic pressing of buttons brings the incline down to 2% and the speed to 6.5km. This is a bit of a blow. That's about what I shuffle around in in 30 degree heat... these Arctic conditions should have me sprinting like a cheetah through a savanna. But I am replaying my dodgy heaving breathing from W6 R3 so need to ease up ... get some oxygen in my lungs! I slow down and try to get a feel for the machine. It is WAY different to running outside, not better or worse, just different. I can't balance very well and it takes all my concentration to stay upright, not fly off the back of it, keep shoulders relaxed, chest up, count breathing, stay on the damn tightrope at all costs. I can't keep my head up or I will fall over, I have to watch my feet to make sure the treadmill doesn't chew them up. I risk a longing glance at the rowing machine in front of me ... my old friend... I would give anything to row for a while.
I finish 30 minutes on the tightrope. Lessons learned that will help next time. Although I'm going to try to do one run outside every week, I need to learn to get along with the machine. I have serious respect for those who are doing/have done their runs on a treadmill. It's a whole different beast.
The video below is all I could think about during the run (apart from staying upright). Something to aspire to, perhaps?
Hahaha aww I feel for you I hate going in the gym (do have a memebrship😂🙈) it’s such an intimidating place if ur a beginner.. and the machines. You need a degree to understand the diagrams... I’m sure the other woman didn’t notice you and maybe you looked like you were following a strict training regime.
Ohh thanks for your kind words Fatnat5 . I don't mind the gym once I'm familiar with it, and familiar with how the machines work! I'd never used the treadmills in this gym before so yeah, I was very self-conscious. So pleased that there was only 1 other person there at the time. I much prefer the anonymity of being outside
Blimey hon, that was a epic journey! Like you i have an innate fear of treadmills. Like they're going to eat me.
Too bouncy, too narrow, too many disturbing buttons. Too many opportunities for the damned machine to be in control. And for mortals to embarrass themselves....
Hats off to you for managing to start to tame it and to all you chaps out there for whom a treadmill is your friend.
There is a blindingly funny bit at the beginning of the first ever episode of The West Wing in which CJ has an incident on a treadmill. Have a search on YouTube. It's "spit coffee down youself" funny.
Glad the mojo is back in town for ya hon! U r gonna tame The Beast!!!
Yeah, always hated them too. Scary beasts, they are. But, it's good that this programme has made me challenge that. I seriously would never have tried to use one otherwise. Desperate times, n all that!
Dunno if the mojo is back... was lying on my bed like a sullen teenager, then thought of you all here and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and at least try walking. So, yay.
Ah Dee. Ya done good, I think you showed true grit running outside for as long as you did. Well done on your run. 😄 Had to postpone my run again here 8 degrees and arctic winds 💨 but I wouldn’t swap that for 30 degrees!
Thanks lexi6 ! We're on day 13 of a record breaking heatwave (temp 33 or over). Good time to be in a cold gym! Wow, it has become cold there pretty quickly! What happened to autumn?? Sorry you couldn't run. You got a treadmill handy
No, but I’m tempted to go down to the local gym and pay casual rates. I can’t handle the Wellington gales. I managed to do 5km on Saturday but I was just so cold. I have my first park run on Saturday, its supposed to be sheltered from the weather?? so if it isn’t so bad, might just drive over there during the week.
Well done on getting through the 5K when you were so cold. Good to check out sheltered options for the months ahead. Bloody elements, eh? If only there were optimal conditions at all times
Thanks Dee, will definitely be wearing my fleecy tights and new cap, sorta keeps me lugholes warm. At your suggestion, still drooling at Amazon leggings the running wardrobe could be getting bigger next summer
B) Tightrope? I like to think of treadmills as rolling hills of death and sprained ankles. (We wont mention the time I was so dizzy after getting off of a treadmill that I promptly fell flat on my face after getting off one).
Bwhahahahaha love it, rolling hills of death! Yeah, what's up with the dizziness after getting off the machine? So reassuring to hear it's not just me ha. I was staggering around a bit trying to get over to the exercise bikes for a cool down. Took a lot of effort and clinging onto other equipment to get there. Weird.
Thanks so much for your kindness. It was kinda fun - it would have been much better if I had started out slowly. Or stuck with a practice run
I have no idea on the dizziness, other gym goers don't seem to have a problem. I just get so disorientated after getting off them!
Genuinely was a revelation when I went for a run outside for the first time. Why do I not feel like I am going to break my ankle every minute? Why do I not feel like I am going to slip and face plant the control screen thingy? Why do I not feel dizzy when i finish!!
Some answers below show we're not the only ones! Phew. Check out HoagyM 's advice re slowing it down before hopping off. Very helpful if you're still using a treadmill.
Not sure about your ankles though. Good that running outside is working out for you and you don't feel you're about to get some major bodily injury!
I have never dared try a treadmill, so hats off to you for taking the plunge- and I am in complete awe of those doing this whole programme on treadmills. Love the video at the end though- now that did make me wish I had a bunch of treadmills to play with!
Same, treadmills are scary. Treadmill runners here deserve an extra badge I think, just for being so awesome. I've seen the other side now and it's hard!
Pleased you liked the music. It's pretty inspiring, makes treadmills look all soft n fuzzy
I avoid the dizzy feeling by steadily slowing the pace down after I’ve finished my cooldown, so adding another 2-3 minutes as I very gradually get to the slowest setting (for me, that’s 0.6mph), after about 10 seconds of that I stop it and stand there for a few more seconds as my body adjusts, before finally stepping off the treadmill. That seems to work for me.
Awesome advice HoagyM . Thanks for sharing that. I didn't realise dizziness was a 'thing'. I was really worried I had pushed myself too far when I got dizzy. Seriously, couldn't walk a straight line. Pretended I had intended to end up where I did, even though it was a different machine
I know what you mean, I bought a treadmill and started C25k at the same time, so my first runs were a combo of my body trying to run for the first time for decades and me trying to get used to the treadmill.
Similar symptoms - feeling like I was on a tightrope (held on to bars tightly while doing the 60-second runs!), going way too fast and also didn’t realise I had it on 5 deg incline! No wonder that first run was the hardest of all.
But got used to running on the treadmill very quickly and then found it as easy as running outside. Easier in fact, as the “ground” is even and cushioned. And I left it on 5 deg incline to make sure it prepared me for the outside world and hills etc.
So unlike a gym, for me there’s no-one else around to feel self-conscious about (apart from bemused wife, son and cats!), but otherwise I’d say keep at it, with a bit of practise it becomes second nature.
Your body does have to get used to it, doesn't it? My legs feel a little tight in places they haven't before. Maybe due to trying to balance? Well done to you, sir, for doing it all on a treadmill, and omg, at 5 degree incline! You must have legs of steel! So lucky to have it in your home as well.
I'll stick with the treadmill for summer - looking forward to feeling more comfortable running on it. Should have taken it slower. Thanks again for all your advice, super helpful x
Funny you mention the legs feeling tight from the treadmill. For me it was the other way around, I had hardly any aches or pains until I finally ventured outside for a run in week 7, and found all sorts of muscles I didn’t know I even had! Had to go back on the treadmill for the next run, just to let those “new” muscles recover! It’s all down to what your body is used to, I guess.
Aren't we the clever ones, going and shaking it all up in week 7 for the longer runs lol.
Makes sense, your body gets used to moving in a certain way (esp for 6 weeks, every second day or thereabouts). New way of running bound to cause some muscles to protest a little.
This made me laugh. Thank you 😊 I hadn’t thought about this but I am going on holiday in a few weeks and will need to run on treadmill for the first time. I’m a bit worried now 😟
Glad you got a giggle Interesting day, looking forward to the next one now that I've got the scary first one out the way. Based on my loser experience today, I would recommend a couple of practice runs first to get your 'treadmill legs' and just to see how you get on with it.
Oh wow Tortoiseintrainers thank you! That's one of the sweetest comments ever! Lucky you to have a park... I have one I love, too, but it's like the fires of hell down there right now. Total no fly zone. To be honest, I'd probably cry if I wasn't laughing at the absurdity of all this. And I ugly cry, so best to just grin n bear it
Another legendary post from a legendary treadmill runner! I feel dizzy now too just reading about it! Well done Dee and enjoy shopping for all the new clothes!
Dizzy stuff those treadmills. That gleeful thought about new winter gear was short- lived unfortunately. Heated up pretty quickly! No fleece required 😎
Oh that did make me laugh! Bless you. I'm doing all mine at the gym & if I'd seen you struggling I would've helped you! There's always someone around at my gym (staff) to help you. I totally get where you at coming from though. I love the gym but the first time I walked into one - many moons ago now - I was terrified! I think maybe you were going way too fast. I don't put mine at an incline - I got injured previously by running too fast on the incline. I also have slowed right down to what I used to do - I walk at 5.6 KMPH and run at 7.0. Hoping to increase that slightly once I've graduated. Good luck and well done for giving it a go!
Oh Hidden you are one of the awesome ones! Well done to you for surviving this treadmill caper 😀 Thank you for your encouragement. It is exciting to mix it up 7 weeks in. My gym is kinda weird, no trainers around to help. But I love it in there, just never hung out with the treadmills before. I want to keep an incline because I will be outside again when it cools down and (I think) that should help with the transition. Thanks for advice on pace too, I will keep it v slow until I'm more used to it.
I think people who run outside are awesome! Unfortunately I'm unable to right now because of migraines- running in any kind of sun, heat or humidity can trigger one. I still get a headache after every workout now anyway despite being on beta blockers. I'm hoping to get outside once I've graduated and the weather cools down. I will prob do a gym/outside combo. Good luck with your treadmill running.
Sorry you suffer migraines, that's really tough. And debilitating. You're amazing to be working through this programme with that to deal with as well. You're a champion xx
Oh my goodness Dee - 4% incline at 8kmph?!! Were you trying to kill yourself?! 😂
Even carrying on at 2% is mighty impressive! I do it at 0%! I know people say set an incline to make it more realistic but you never spend 30 mins outside running constantly up hill do you?
Very well done on doing a whole 30 minutes! In the end you make it sound easy! Love the vid too. Will suggest getting some treadmills together at my gym! 😂
I know, I'm a total douche right? 😂 Clueless treadmill novice. I thought I was setting it at what most people were doing on their treadmills. I only lasted 5 mins though with them that high lol. Did nearly kill me, it was not easy at all. Can't wait for the next run now though! Will totally keep it slow.
Will require video evidence if you get the gym to get some treadmills together. Let the dancing begin! 💃🕺
I honestly think you're wrong on this bud. Treadmills replaced the Thumb Screw, Rack and Iron Maiden in the torturer's arsenal of party tricks some while ago...
Speaking of Iron Maiden what's happened to DaveB46 recently after his Curry and Beer escapade?
4%?? I thought that conventional wisdom was around 2%. In some bizarre attempt to mimic running outdoors (I nearly typed "real running" but mercifully stopped myself).
Dial it down a bit Dee!! We don't want you turning into a mountain goat....
I did it all wrong! Purely rookie user error / stupidity 😢 Thought I WAS following conventional wisdom. Will deffo be dialing it down for the next one. Ankles a bit sore doh.
You'd blitz it on a treadmill now that you're all trained and conditioned to run. Great, good luck with your run tonight, running buddy. You've got this 💪
Treadmills fill me with fear, I have problems with spatial awareness and perception, so I know I would fall off.
Do you remember Olivia Newton John strolling through that rotating barrel in heels?
I had to walk through one, but couldn't manage it. After me being thrown around as if I was in a tumble dryer, they had to switch it off and carry me out🤣🤣🤣🤣.
So I am impressed that you stayed upright, and confident that you will master it. Plus you get to wear your woollies. Win win😊
Who can forget ONJ strolling through the barell?! Classic. Where on earth did you find one to walk into? Did they play music?
Sounds like it wasn't so awesome for you, poor love. What a nightmare. I still have a healthy dose of fear of the machine, but it's my only option right now which is a bit gutting, but grateful the choice exists. Feel the fear and do it anyway, or something 😬
The 1st!!!!! one was in a fun house in Blackpool on a school trip, not even remotely embarrassing 😡, the 2nd!! , on something called the Mississippi River Boat at Alton Towers , on that occasion I had to be given a piggy back through, as you had to go through to exit......I don't know how I have reached my advanced years.
I did mention it to a neurologist at work once, and once the laughing had stopped, he said some people just had very strong sense of perception, and were easily thrown.
Gran4z don't be scared. And don't be like me. I wrote this in a fairly light hearted way but I am so angry with myself for being so stupid. I should have asked for advice here weeks ago. I knew i wouldn't be able to run outside in summer, the treadmill was just a matter of time. So... have a go at walking on one now and get used to doing that. Be comfortable jogging on it by the time you will be needing to use it. If you start out walking, you will gradually increase your familiarity, decrease your fear and transition smoothly when the time comes. Did I mention don't be like me? Good luck, you'll be fine 👍
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One of my biggest fears. After clowns.
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