Come Back Sarah…. all is forgiven!

‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ I said. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong, I just…. need to see who else is out there, spread my wings, try new things. Otherwise I’ll spend my whole life regretting it….’ Silence. Not a word. ‘You’ve got so much to offer other people,’ I continued, filling the void with inadequate words. ‘You’re so funny, encouraging, supportive, you’ve never let me down. I don’t know where I’d be without you…. it’s just something have to do… for me.’ Still nothing. ‘Ok, well, bye then.…’

I felt terrible, but I was itching to get my hands on my new date, who had so much more going for them. They were fresh and new and exciting, and rather good looking too, if a bit flashy in comparison. Did I like flashy? I think I did. They were so full of knowledge - enlightening, I was drawn in like a Pooh to a honey pot and I couldn’t wait to get out with them and see where it took us. Sarah had got a bit boring, we’d grown familiar and comfortable and a bit cheesy, like last year’s slippers.

My heart was pounding, my mouth dry, butterflies swirling in my stomach. I swept my hair back into a slinky bun and smoothed down my new top. This was it, the moment I had been waiting for. Doubt flickered in my mind, did I really want to do this, to find out what it would be like with another? But I was there and so were they….No going back now….

Well, it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I won’t go into details as this is a family forum but it wasn’t pretty. Did I want to know how I was performing at timely intervals? No. It just gave me the willies. Sorry, ok, I’ll stop now.

So having avoided all forms of tracking, pacing and I don’t know what for the last 19 odd weeks, I finally succumbed to Map My Run who told me I did my first ever 5km in 33.38 seconds. And about a minute of that was faffing about with my phone. Kms varied from 6.15 to 7.02 mins so I need to sort my pace out. But I am SO happy and chuffed to know that I can do it in an ok time and that I’m not taking hours. Do I feel worthy of the title runner now, finally, 2 months post-grad? Yes, I think at last I do!!!! :) Why do I allow this all to govern the way I feel about myself? I don’t know, just human I suppose.

But I am going back to the lovely Sarah Millican & Week 9 on repeat, she’s a part of me now and I don’t want to do this without her. And I’m going to slow down. I want to enjoy and savour each run, not be anxious and panicky that my next lap is going to be slower than the last, pushing myself into my the uncomfortable and unenjoyable. But I might do an extra lap at the weekends if I feel like it.

Happy running everyone! :)


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16 Replies

  • That's absolutely brilliant. You do make me smile :)

  • OMG, you had me there... meatball on fork, poised by open mouth, being drawn deeper into your (erm... fantasy)... and... then... disappointment. I felt sooo let down - you must have been devastated 🙈😂

    I can't see that I'll ever be interested in my pace/speed. I'm just grateful to be moving forward at a pace slightly faster than a worm (even with the gasping) 🤗

    ...and for me... it'll be Sarah all the way 😊

  • Making all that up was the only way to occupy my mind whilst running this morning! As you move on it niggles at your brain (well, mine anyway) - am I doing ok? Am I really pants or just a bit? I resisted for a long time and now I know I don't have to go back there! Ever! :) Sarah is just what I need, bless her. Gasping worm, I love that! I am sure that you a lot better than you think you are :)

  • Blimey, the only thought I have whilst running is "If I collapse here, now, how far will my running buddy have to carry me back to the car" 😰

    Mmmm, maybe it will - I can't think THAT far ahead 😂 Right now I'll just continue swearing at Sarah 😉

  • Haha! As much as I like jogging on my own, I'm always a bit pleased if there is a dog walker lurking in the distance now, just in case I keel over. From the looks on their faces, I think they are worried about the same thing too! :)

  • 😂😂 I know that look..!! 😂😂

  • Wonderful post thank you😂👍

  • Great post fpf, I was on tenterhooks at the start....! I’m sticking with Mr Smooth on week 9 repeat...I can’t be weaned off him just yet, after all, I’m only a baby in all of this! He’s like my comfort blanket....

  • I tried Mr Smooth but he just wasn't Sarah :( . So she's like my stabilisers, without her I'm all over the place! Gotta stick with what you know! :)

  • Yep...I like Sarah as a comedian, so I didn’t want to not like her through all this! I look forward to hearing Mr Smooth every other day & we have a lovely relationship....I def need him like I’ve never needed a man before!! 😂

  • Haha! They've def been a massive support to us through thick and thin! Sarah's a bit like a mother hen, that makes you smile. No harm in sticking with them to keep us company. I'd feel naked without her now!

  • This was probably my problem today....first run without Mr Smooth....big mistake...

  • Like me yesterday too.... my lesson to myself... If it ain't broke don't fix it! :)

  • Clever post 😂 If you like Sarah then why change! I like Laura and sometimes use Week 1 as an interval session (jog the walk parts and increase pace during the run sections).

  • Good idea! I like the sound of that... I set off fast (er!) then flag a bit at the 20 min mark so maybe doing things like that might help... thanks for the tip! :)

  • I got the idea from another member of this forum! I also like the 'speed' podcast (C25k+) which has slightly different intervals

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