Supporting My Buddy has Left Me Challenged 🙄

I've been supporting my new running buddy during the summer holidays, adapting elements of the programme to help him since he ruptured both quads 17 months ago, as he wanted to start running. His physio advised him that he needed to start running and he his first attempt was just trying to run as far as he could before crawling home (which wasn't far). After I asked about intervals he asked about C25K and we started with just 30seconds running and 5 minute walks between, gradually but slowly building each week. After 5 weeks he started on week 1 of the programme but with 2 minute walking intervals and now this week we've cut the walks down to 90 seconds. He's finding the breathing hard as he also had TB a few years ago. I know how hard he finds it to get motivated which is why I run/ walk with him.

I do my own running alone, and run with him on my rest days. He has now set himself a target of running 5k by Christmas as he's a headteacher and knows it will be difficult to find the motivation to run when term begins, so needs a target to aim for. But he has suggested I too should have a target, and said my target should be to enter a 10k event before then.

There is a Race for Life 10k in the park behind my house in three weeks, but I'm not sure I want to do it. I know if I do it it will help him feel he has to stay focused, but I'm really not sure...

What would you do..?

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20 Replies

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  • Your target is yours and yours alone. It sounds selfish, but I mean it in a positive sense, your commitment to a target that is being suggested to you will not be the same as if you had chosen it for yourself....

    You say you're not sure.. I am guessing your feelings are reflected right there!

    Whatever you decide imho you are focused already, you are helping someone else run on your rest days, sounds like a blooming big commitment to me.

    Hope you resolve it happily.

  • It's not the 10k that puts me off, I had set that as a target for myself. It's running in an event. I'm so used to running alone...🏃🏽‍♀️

  • Aha me too. Mmm toughy!

  • I ran one 10k event and it confirmed all my prejudices that I would rather run on my own. Maybe you should do the same and then you have justification for saying no to future events, based on experience.

    Have you tried parkrun. I love that, but the idea of paying good money to run a route with other people, that I could run alone, for free at a time of my own choosing, to be rewarded with a bit of tatty bling, leaves me cold. Yes,I am a curmudgeonly old bastard.

    Keep up the good work, but follow your heart.

  • I'm sure you're no more curmudgeonly than me... ;-) And surely we're not THAT old.

    Yes I have run my local Parkruns a few times. I did them in the winter, but as the weather got warmer the number of runners increased and I couldn't cope. I am hearing impaired and also have balance and vertigo problems, so people jostling past me made me very unstable and dizzy, and I also couldn't hear any of the announcements or what people around me were saying to me, so it was all a bit fraught. I also can't hear runners coming up behind me or trying to overtake. Some of the faster runners were quite rude, pushing me and then shouting at me because I hadn't got out of their way. So it put me off a bit.

    I'll probably do a few more one the weather cools off and the numbers dwindle.

  • I agree with Jan on the 10k run, it's a marvellous thing you are doing, well done.

  • You are a lovely person to take the time to help and encourage your running buddy. The world needs more people like you.

    Now on to the "to official race or not" question... Have you run with other people at an event before and not liked it? If so, 'Fairy Nuff'. If you haven't tried yet, then maybe this is destiny's way of presenting you with what your running buddy considers to be your challenge - not running 10k, because you know you can, but beating the fear of running an official race? I run alone, too - always have, but events are a great experience. You still run alone, but surrounded by lots of people with the same passion as you. If you don't try, you'll never know...

  • I agree with our awesome friend mfamilias ... you won't know until you try?

    But..it has to be your choice.... this is your journey.... choose for you :)

  • Hi, can you find a Parkrun to try tomorrow? That way you can test out running with others and see how it feels before you make a decision?

  • How about signing up for a virtual 10k for a charity? Then you can do the distance but as and when/where you decide you want to. You will be able to run it alone if that's what you prefer but still feel part of something bigger. I prefer to run alone or with one particular friend. I don't think I could ever sign up for a big run and loathe the start of parkrun every week because of the mass of people. Luckily I am a real snaily runner so I am on my own pretty soon. Only you can say whether you feel up to the different challenge of a communal run, but good for you for supporting your friend so well. :)

  • SlowWorm2016 I too loathe the start of Parkrun for the same reason. :-)

  • Can't you just say you have a target, helping him get to 5km. I think with events it is very hard to put yourself under pressure to get the training in and do things at times you might not without an event. That is the thing I love about events, I thrive on it. If you are not sure I would hold off as it could change your whole view to running. You are doing something wonderful helping this gentleman get back to it, it would be horrible if you changed the feeling towards doing that by doing something you are not sure of. Be happy in whichever decision you make and enjoy both your journeys.

  • I'm not worried about training as I have run 10km a few times (today just managed to cover 12km including my warm up and cool down runs, and my 10km time was 55.01 minutes) so I can just keep on with the training I'm doing. I just don't do well in the crowded start line due to my hearing impairment and vestibular problems. But thanks Realfoodieclub , I will give it some more thought. :-)

  • You are such a great runner and a true friend!

    Dont do the event if you dont want to. Choose something for yourself.

    I know you have run parkrun regularly and you have run 10k, so there are no surprises for you.

    Perhaps a virtual 10k is the way forward?

  • Millsie-J I might look into doing a virtual 10k. Thanks. :-)

  • What about something like this? I cant get to the organised events but wanted to run one of the series. This is perfect for me and might suit you, but there are many others:

    womensrunninguk.co.uk/virtu...

  • I might give this a go. Thanks Millsie-J .

  • Oldfloss and SueKen

    Yes I have run my local Parkruns a few times. I did them in the winter, but as the weather got warmer the number of runners increased and I couldn't cope. I am hearing impaired and also have balance and vertigo problems, so people jostling past me made me very unstable and dizzy, and I also couldn't hear any of the announcements or what people around me were saying to me, so it was all a bit fraught. I also can't hear runners coming up behind me or trying to overtake. Some of the faster runners were quite rude, pushing me and then shouting at me because I hadn't got out of their way. So it put me off a bit.

    I'll probably do a few more when the weather cools off and the numbers dwindle. But I don't enjoy them as much as my solo runs.

  • Ah, sorry, I can see now why Parkrun might not appeal. It's a shame though, especially as park run are really trying to be inclusive for everyone. I know they are training up guides for visually impaired runners, I wonder if there are any adjustments that could be made for anyone hearing impaired? Perhaps an announcement at the start that there are hearing impaired runners present would make people a bit more considerate? But I do appreciate that its tough for you, so perhaps the virtual 10k suggested by others might be the way forward. Whatever you decide I'm really impressed.

  • I have done it... signed up for the Race for Life 10k!

    Nervous and a little bit excited.:-)

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