It's about prejudice. So I'm not slim - I'm sure I've mentioned the "6 year old child" I carry when I run. But I can run. I graduated last December. I trained for the 5k I did April 8 (in 41 min thank you very much) by doing 4k three days a week for the month prior to the event. I've "accidently" run 7 to 9k having lost track of time when running. I am capable, and I know this.
Yesterday, I (bravely) went to my first meeting of a sponsored running group i joined. Before the annual meeting, there was a 5k fun run. I wasn't worried. Then this 'concerned' member latched on to me. Wanted to chat at the start of the run. It takes everything I have to run - I don't chat. The group (as i would expect) were way ahead, until after a couple of turns, I couldn't see them anymore. The guy, however, stuck with me, and guided my turns (I thought to the 5k) route. I was incredibly confused when he noted that the end was "just up ahead".
I know he was just concerned, but really - he assumed because I'm fat, I couldn't do the whole run (he took me to 2.7k instead - which I did, incidently in 21 minutes. He asked me a couple of times later, after the meeting how I was feeling (????).
I felt fine. Annoyed with him for assuming, and annoyed with myself for not telling him to bug off and that I'm more than capable of doing a silly 5k.
So today, I woke up wondering. Am I kidding myself? Should I even bother running? What's the point? I'm not losing weight, I'm just clocking miles that no one believes I can do anyway.
Sorry - a really pitiful vent - I appreciate you all - I do. Last night though, I arrived feeling capable, and left feeling out of my depth.