A few people have followed my first couple of posts (thank you) and my joys of being able to start This Thing. Also to give me really helpful advice about treadmill (where I feel more comfortable) v Outside (where I am scared and nervous).
This afternoon I had friends coming round and a fairly short time to get my run done. I've been away staying on the High St at the Edinburgh Fringe (not runner friendly) so I have missed four days. I wondered how this would affect me but I was determined not to miss today.
So I decided to try outside as it's quicker than going to the gym (travel/parking/check in etc) to fit my 60 min deadline of do the run, shower and be presentable for my friends. I drive to a further away park than my nearest, resplendent in my winter goretex jacket as I don't possess a running jacket ....heck, it's black.
It's blowing a hoolie here today so there's not too many people in the park though it means I need to choose my route carefully so I'm not running up a steep incline facing into a Force Ten gale. I set off, thinking of all the things you guys had said, deftly choosing paths away from dog walkers and pushchair strollers. It's going well till run 5 when I realise my routes taking me up an incline that I figure would be 5.0 or 6.0 on a treadmill and it's windy. I have to walk the last 10 seconds but, undeterred I keep on. And yes, you guessed it, I had to ditch the jacket and just go the T shirt and joggers but by then I was determined to finish. At one point I passed the kind of person who I thought might laugh sitting on a bench with his dog and he may well have made a comment as I jogged past so so slowly, but Laura was at max volume in my ears saying 'you can do it' and I jogged on.
I thought I had two more running sections to do and I find its just one - wow! How did that happen? By now the wind was at my back and I was running down a slight hill and as Laura said I'd finished I found myself spreading my arms out wide like Kate Winslet in Titanic, feeling the wind almost lift me (well.......not quite) and I found myself feeling elated and ...emotional.
I began to cry, sob....in the park. Because I had done something I had NEVER done before and because I felt very emotional listening to the last track on week 2 ...'you've got to hold your head up high....." "You never thought it could be this way....keep fighting...why should you care what people say".....
Tears were running down my face. No people in white coats arrived as I had fastidiously taken paths where I couldn't be seen from the main road.
I ran outside.
I might have been slow but if I could draw where I went in the walks and runs, I went up there, along there, all the way along there, back up there, up that steep hill, along the straight, turned back on myself, then ran downhill and the 5 min walk to the car.
I CAN do Week 3!