Worst run EVER!!!!

So, this week has been a really bad week! In just one week the comfort and serenity I found in running has come crashing down around me. On Tuesday some disgusting man grabbed me and tried to sexually assault me whilst I walked home from work. This was a busy main road and in broad daylight, so my guard was down. I managed to kick him and run away from him (very, very fast) and I've spent the week trying to help the police to find him (they haven't btw). However, today is the first time I've tried running since it happened. I expected it to be a little bit difficult because I've gone from running 5k 3 times per week to not running at all this week. But, I really wasn't expecting to feel like an emotional wreck from start to finish. All I could think about was running away from him! I ended up walking far more than ever before and just feel a little bit broken!

Sorry for offloading!

26 Replies

  • Poor you. That sounds truly awful. Shock has strange ways of affecting us and often when we least expect it. Offloading is an important part of dealing with it for most women too. Make sure you talk to someone and keep running, it will get better.

  • Oh no that's sounds absolutely appalling.

    I really don't know what's wrong with this world and some of the people in it.

    I find when something disturbing happens that I talk and talk and talk about it over and over again to anyone who will listen until it sits right in my head. I then find I can move on. I recently had a horrific incident happen to me and I followed my own advice ( Poppypug will vouch for that, sorry PP)

    Try not to let this sub human scumbag change you for the negative and I'm sure things will get better albeit slowly at first.

    I would look at your first run as a success though as it sounds like it made you confront what's happened and work emotionally through it. Next time I bet it's not as bad.

    Don't worry about unloading it's a form of therapy I reckon.

    Bob x

  • It does feel much better to just write about it. I'm starting to understand the impact it has had on me and I think I was stopping myself from feeling the enormity of what happened to try and protect myself, but actually that has led to me really beating myself up over it all. Questioning everything, including what I was wearing, which is ridiculous! I know it is ridiculous! I think it is that the world feels like a scarier place than it did before.

  • Aw B0bP , no need to apologise at all, Big hugs ((( ))) xxx

  • That's awful natalie-jade, really really awful.

    As a strong man who is trained in martial arts, I cannot overstate how debilitating a kick in the, er, um, (cough) jewels are. Seriously, God even gave you targeting aids - just follow them to the target (i.e. our legs). You would be amazed how little strength is needed to make us roll up on the ground in a fetal position.

    If you feel threatened and are genuinely scared for your safety, don't even think twice about it, kick away.

    Truly, it is appalling how some people think, behave and try and affect others.

    I once heard as well, a report that shouting 'fire' is now more successful for getting attention than shouting 'rape' or 'help me'.

    Can you run with a partner? Have you thought about taking a rape alarm/pepper spray?

    But hey, you went out for a run anyway, how much strength and determination does that show! I have had similar experiences and I know how devastating they can be. I also know how we British can 'put on a brave face'. Don't do that, it sounds very traumatic - be genuine with yourself.

    You were running in daylight on a busy road so you were being very sensible. This shouldn't have happened. Again, on behalf of men (the good and the bad), I both stand alongside you and apologise.

  • Thank you so much for this. Asking my partner to go for a run with me sounds like a really good idea, actually. He'll hate it, but would definitely do it for me :) I'll probably only need him to do it for a week or so, but maybe it'll turn into a habit for him too.

  • Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that. You have been through a really traumatic experience and it will take a while to leave you - but you will move on and feel stronger.

    Try to think of your running as a wholly positive thing - your fitness helped you resist more strongly and helped you get away from an awful situation.

    I'm certain that your next run will be better. Keep talking to us. X

  • Thank you for your reply. I am very appreciative of my current level of fitness, because who knows what would have happened if I wasn't able to get away. I might plan a run with my husband tomorrow in a bid to reduce my anxiety a little bit and hopefully I will be back out happily running on my own in a few days. I refuse to let this man affect my fitness that I've worked hard for.

  • That's the spirit!

  • I think you are incredibly brave for getting out there again. This is the type of thing that happens to other people and we never expect it to happen to us. But whatever other low thoughts you have, don't ever blame yourself. You did/wore/said nothing wrong. Put all the blame where it belongs.

    Is there a local women's running club you could join? Good luck.

  • I'm probably going to go back to the sweatshop runs and hopefully going out in a big group will help me to feel more confident again. :) thank you for your kind words.

  • Absolutely agree. It is not your fault in any way whatsoever. And you are incredibly brave. You can and will conquer this and be stronger for it. He will in all likelihood always be, in the words of Bob, a sub human scumbag.

  • You have been traumatised so no wonder you are anxious and upset. Be gentle with yourself and get support from friends.Thinking of you x

  • Thats a horrible & totally unnecessary thing to happen to anyone. Scum!!

    Well done on taking the actions you did & getting away quickly.

    It's absolutely no surprise at all that you were so emotional on your first run since, but as the others have said. You did it & you had the guts to do it on your own. Huge kudos to you not sure I could be so brave.

    Your confidence will come back, you have the determination not to let a scumbag like that beat you. 🐯🦁

    Take care x

  • Terrible... How absolutely awful for you.

    Okay.. you ran. You ran from him, very fast.. brilliant. You ran again and it was still with you..totally normal reaction. I agree with yatesco ... is there anyone you could run with?

    Maybe, if your partner comes out with you, he can walk.cycle, watch... just be there!

    Get an alarm. I have just bought a wrist one.. I run in fields and lanes, and do not expect things like this, but they can happen.. anywhere, as you have stated. They are really cheap..got mine from Amazon.


    Talk about it, talk on here, get it out there.. hopefully someone will find this man.

    Hang in there... brave girl :)

  • So sorry to hear about your experience. Brave of you to get out for a run so soon after. I am sure with time you will get your full confidence back but like the idea of running with your husband in the mean time. Don't let this one person put you off running or make you worry about what you are doing or wearing etc. They have the problem not you.

  • This is such a dreadful experience to go through. Hopefully the police will catch him. He is very sick and evil. Take care and hopefully you'll be able to take your partner with you for a while until your confidence comes back.

  • Just echoing what everyone else is saying really, but wanted to reply.

    This should not have happened to you (to anyone!), and it is in NO WAY WHATSOEVER your fault. Please don't blame yourself in any way, even for a second. I'm so glad you managed to get away, but the enormity of the situation is still going to impact on you very hard, and you are completely entitled to feel shock, anger and fear (and anything else you feel!). I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, but you sound like you are so brave and strong for even thinking about venturing out again so soon - I think it's incredible and inspiring.

    Let yourself have bad days when you can't be as strong though, do what feels right for you. If your partner or a friend can go out with you for a while I think that could really help get you through it, but it's bound to take time.

    I really hope you're doing ok, and this scum bag doesn't stop you running in the long term. And I really REALLY hope they catch the b**tard!

  • Oh Nathalie, I don't know what to say. So sad and angry that someone tried to do that to you. I think it's a good idea to get your husband to join you for a while - he might get hooked too. And don't let the scumbag who did this get between you and your dreams. Hugs from Copenhagen

  • So sorry to hear about your horrible ordeal. We are all here for you. Hope you get back to running and normality soon. Best wishes Andy. X x

  • What a truly frightening experience for you Natalie, that must have really shook you to the core.

    Massive respect to you for getting out there on a run and not letting this disgusting individual beat you , that's a great idea to run with a group just until your confidence increases .

    Talking about it really does help I think, it helps you try and process it all . Please do not blame yourself , you were just walking about going about your day to day business . I really hope that the Police manage to track this person down and he faces the consequences of his vile behaviour.

    I wish you all the very best going forward Natalie, we are all here for you . xxx

  • Ooh how awful!! So glad your instinct was to kick and run!

    I know from experience..happened to me when I was only 17 and full of fighting spirit..or so I thought till it happened.. I just froze on the spot..if it hasn't been for two elderly passer bys..screaming and shouting at him.. God knows how I would have fared! It still plays on my mind when I read or hear stories like yours...

    Takes time.. but your confidence will return.. x

    Thoughts are with you! Be strong.. good advice from oldfloss as usual.. I am going to buy an alarm.. I run on quiet paths and fields..early morning or evening..

    And although I do think about the risks..this just brings home how we really should arm ourselves..and be cautious and aware...


  • Offload all you want my lovely! We are all here for you to give you all of the love and support you need. The very fact that you still want to run is testament to your strength and courage. You may feel a bit broken now but you will heal and come back stronger. The things we go through are what make us grow. I hope the Police find the a##hole and he pays for what he did. I hope you can be proud of how you reacted and can see how bravely you acted at the time. Take baby steps to get out there again. Don't let this stop you from being an amazing runner and showing the world that you rock! Big hugs x

  • Well, this SOB tried to run your day but he picked the wrong person, as you are a C25K runner who has more strength building inside than we ever thought possible. You won the battle, you sprinted away. Look at you go! You are running again, you have amazing power in you to write this down even!

    He is the sad, pathetic wimp of a human.

    You are the strong, determined and inspirational one.

    I'm proud of you, keep talking and sharing, xx

  • Oh how awful. I can only imagine how terrifying this was for you.

    And I will add to what others have said about you being so brave going out for a run after that - fair play to you. You have true courage and fighting spirit.

    You are right to want to hang on to the fitness you've worked hard to reach, so good luck with continuing to get through this.

    I hope the nasty scumbag is caught and gets his just deserts.

    Take care xx

  • Oh that's just awful, what a horrible thing to happen. I understand, I have a sort of stalker, sits opposite me in our local cafe and just stares and stares. He followed me to the toilets the other day, loos are mixed in France, and this seems to be a national pastime, goodness knows why anyone would want to "get jiggy" in a lav, especially with my husband waiting for me, but there you go.....some of the places I run are a bit deserted - well, all of them really...I was conscious all the way round yesterday that it would be easy for a nutter to follow me...I won't let that idiot spoil my fun and you on't either. It might take you a while but you'll get your joy back soon. xxx

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