I am so dumb! It appears that seven weeks ago I downloaded an alternative version of Couch to 5K rather than the NHS one. I have just listened to the NHS version and finally realise who this Laura is that everyone keeps talking about. Her plan seems a little different to the one I've been following, with more advice about changing pace etcetera so I aim to do W8R1 tomorrow with my new personal trainer. Will post the results. Maybe they'll be spectacular. Maybe the shortcomings of the pirated version are what have been holding me back!
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