Now, I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me, I am not just a fickle male who is dissatisfied with my lot, (far from it) but I am wondering whether to dump Gwendolen Runkeeper. I am an advocate of loyalty but I get the impression that Gwendolen is bored with me and it might be better for both of us if we had a break, maybe a trial separation.
Admittedly, my demands of her have increased recently, with my need to know not only time and distance every ten minutes and every kilometre, but also my average pace and current pace, plus now I need her to remind me of my fast pace intervals. She fulfills all these demands without complaint but tellingly, without enthusiasm.
I have tried to impress her with my twenty second sprint intervals, every five minutes. I am impressed by my twenty second sprint intervals, the velocity is truly remarkable and the sheep get very excited and rush around to tell one another when I change pace, as if they have never quite seen anything like it. (I am sure that they haven't). Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to excite Gwendolen, her response is only a terse, bored and laconic, “Next interval. Five minutes. Steady.”
Just a tiny glimmer of admiration and respect for my efforts would be appreciated, but no, she has seen it all before and I am obviously not matching up to the muscle bound efforts of the jocks that she is used to getting sweaty with. On my 8k run the other day, I swear she yawned, after telling me my current pace for kilometre number three.
I also do NOT appreciate her sense of humour. What is so funny about telling me that my current pace is 3.46mins/k, when I KNOW that I am struggling up the hill at approximately twice that pace? That is just cruel! And her long sullen silences, when she refuses to communicate with me at all, well, they are getting me down.
Maybe I am to blame. Have I taken her for granted.? Is she still jealous of my last long term relationship with Laura? I still have fond feelings for Laura, but let's face it, it's over. Yes, I admit to a brief fling with Dolores Endomondo, but she meant nothing to me, besides, that was before I even met Gwendolen.
That leaves me to ponder whether we get the running partners we deserve. The Panther Lady, has Silky Steve, who sounds like he could charm the running shorts off any woman. Meanwhile, I end up with cold, emotionless Gwendolen Runkeeper, who doesn't give me the impression that she considers me to be a real man at all.
With payment, I suppose, I could go elite and then maybe I would have access to Gwendolen's cheeky, cheerleading little sister, Trixie, but, she is a Pro and I refuse to pay hard earned dosh for her services. Yes, I am a tight wad. But that is why I am ploughing my lone furrow through the pure air of the Devon countryside, rather than wallowing in the testoterone flooded atmosphere of a sweaty gym down at the leisure centre.
So, advise me, fellow runners, are there any warm, friendly, enthusiastic and supportive (and free) voices out there to encourage me and aid the tracking of my training runs, or do I have to come to this forum for that.
Run, run, run, POP! Oh hell!
W8R2- oh my god!!!!
OH MY DAYS!!!
Oh My Goodness!
Oh, look who's here!
