After being referred, by my GP, to a consultant haematologist in 2010. She set me down and with little preamble proceeded to tell me that I had CLL. There is no cure she said, but I was in the early stages and no treatment was needed at that time. Shocked and Relieved I took the news like a good trooper. I would be seen regularly for blood test and not to worry it could be years; if even at all, before I needed treatment.
Que Sera, Sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see Que Sera, Sera.
Before we go any further - please be aware that my warped sense of humour sometimes overtakes my usual cool and collected narrative. I do not seek to offend nor to vent scorn.
We became great friends my consultant and I, during the 5% of the times I saw her when I attended my Watch & Wait appointments (even today she calls me Mr.!). I got to know many of her registrars over the years.
However, come 2013 my W&W appointments went from 6mths to 4mths then monthly to fortnightly in Feb'14. I thought that I had an admirer in the hospital! Why else so frequent requests for attendance?
Alas, instead of a box of chocolates I was half expecting - I had a bone marrow thingie (2 of them), It was mildly uncomfortable except for the incident when the needle hit a nerve and they had to pull me back from the other side of the table to continue. THEN I was offered a course of FRC. Ha! You can keep your 'Whose a lucky boy' comments to yourself. It must be said that I have full confidence in my consultant despite her letting me down with the chocs.
Anyway today Apr 5, I am halfway through my first helping of FRC and on the 17th I get to do it all again. Yea me!!
What? Oh you want to know my opinion of the treatment. Well what an unexpected train of events that prompted!
Being a 1st time user of the R=Rituxan in the FRC I got half my dose by IV on Tuesday (the other half planned for Wed). it was applied slowly, oh soo s l o w l y, during which I was given advise about being complacent regarding side effects. I took it all in and finally was released to go home. In hind-site I may have been too literal in interpretation of the warnings. My temperature was over 38.something and I had genuine flu like symptoms. I rang the helpline. They insisted I came back to the hospital. There I got a thorough going over and in the meantime my temperature had normalised and my aches and pains were dispersing. I went home again tired and depleted of energy.
Wednesday morning whilst preparing to go and get my remaining half of R, life outside my egotistical bubble, erupted - a call to the bedside of a close relative brought things into perspective - I missed my IV that day with my consultants blessing and was fortunate to spend a few minutes with my relative before she died.
Thursday morning, as instructed, I had to start my F= Fludarabine and C=Cyclophosphamide tablets. 16 pills between them plus an assortment of other tablets. Friday and Saturday same routine. I wouldn't say I enjoyed taking them nor the 3 litres of water, but when all is said and done the worst the happened me; apart from many many trips to the toilet, was minor nausea.
On the Monday I got my R, IV. On Wednesday a follow up appointment revealed my blood numbers were normal for some test or other. There was much rejoicing and never a thought to the CTscan and the extra bits inside me that it exposed.
Now I remember why I started this missive -
A question. Now that treatment has been deemed necessary, and is successful can I assume that it is now a race between CLL and old age as to which will cause my demise? I'm only 67 but one day after Christmas I felt like I was 35 again.