Free For All on Friday: Hi everyone, Here’s... - Care Community

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Free For All on Friday

Callendersgal profile image

Hi everyone,

Here’s the end of our first week of 2022 and I do hope you’ve all had a good start to the new year. Regardless of our resolutions (broken or not), and the knowledge that a happy new year isn’t ever guaranteed, I always feel that it’s like opening up my new diary and seeing a fresh period of time stretching ahead of me. Oh those first few pen strokes. Will I make a mess of the very first page? Good or bad times ahead, it feels like the start of a new adventure.

It’s also our first Friday of the year, so please feel free to post as you wish, so long as you remain within our community guidelines, and the start of the year might be the time to take a quick refresher of those. Most people within the community are always very respectful and mindful and the rules are just common sense reminders to be kind and not break the few rules which keep the community safe and a good place to be for us all.

To those who have joined us over the past couple of weeks, a very warm welcome to you.

What’s everyone done with their first few days of the year? I met up with an old dance buddy yesterday. I haven’t seen her since the beginning of the first lockdown of the pandemic in March 2020, and I knew already that she had been through a difficult time. After a long spell with ulcerative colitis, she was faced with surgery and the life-changing operation which gave her a colostomy to get used to. Then when we spoke on the phone during the week, she told me she was also undergoing breast cancer treatment. That was a big blow to hear, and I’ll admit to being a little fearful of seeing her again when the last time had been when she was still in robust, reasonably good health.

But aren’t some people marvellous? She was her old self, a lot thinner but just as cheery and determined to be getting on with her life. On top of all her own problems and at the age of 83 she is now also caring for her 94 year old husband who is in the late stages of heart failure. She remains undaunted. I wish I had half of her courage, grit, determination, energy and will to enjoy every day of her life. She’s even managing a little country dancing with friends here and there.

It did me so much good to catch up with her and reminded me of the merits of just getting on with things, good or bad, because we can’t change what the storms of life throw at us, we can only learn to surf the angry sea.

So now over to you……. Hope you had a good week and that another will follow.

16 Replies

Thats my view on things how what you can control is your own attitude and behaviour to horrible circumstances and accepting the things you can't change but by all means tackle the things you can do something about!

At my old job there was a colleague there who had chronic illness and she used the illness as an excuse not to do things She was frightened of and didn't want to do rather than just being honest by saying no I don't want to do that or no that's not possible.

I personally would rather concentrate on the things that are available than crib about those that aren't and become one of life's Victims!

We enjoyed a quiet NYE party and had things like sausage rolls and buffet food and Baby enjoyed her spoils!

New Years Day there was trouble as there was a noisy party on upstairs and I felt furious and had rung the noise team at the city council who said someone would ring me back just to fob me off and no they haven't and I had ended up leaving the flat for a walk as I felt absolutely furious and had felt better after having done that!

Then it was 11.30pm and we had gone to bed and still there were people coming in and out and I had felt absolutely furious and had rung the police who were sympathetic and had received lots of noise complaints that evening!

I have restarted my job search and have applied for a few jobs this week and had nice early interviews yesterday and wednesday at 9.30am which was nice as the rest of the day was mine to enjoy!

Now it's just sitting back and waiting to hear from those places and if I didn't get those jobs the world won't end!

Next Tuesday I have another nice early interview for 9.45am and then next Friday I have a blood test I have waited 6 weeks for at the surgery for 9am nice and early as with 9 once it's done the rest of the day will be mine to enjoy rather than waiting around say until 4pm!

Today for me will be a nice quiet leisurely day after having had those interviews and in future I will try to get those appointments nice and early if I can and then once they are done they are over for the rest of the day no waiting around say like until 4pm!

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Catgirl1976

A happy new year to you and your loved ones Catgirl1976 and that of course includes Baby! Hoping that this will be your year and you'll be successful in finding that new job. No-one can ever say that you haven't tried as hard as you possibly could, and if most potential employers knew how dedicated you've been in trying to find work, I'm sure that would give you the edge at interview. The very best of luck!

sassy59 profile image

We’ve had a very quiet start to the new year which is fine. Grandchildren back at school apart from our youngest grandson who goes back to preschool on Monday. He came round today with his mum and was great fun as always. What it is to be four. How lovely to meet up with a friend Callendersgal and what an inspiration she is. Some people are truly amazing and I wish her well with all the challenges she has to face.

It’s nice to be in the warm and I really appreciate what we have. I feel for those who struggle trying to pay their energy bills.

Stay well and warm everyone. Keep safe. Xxx👍🤗💕💜❤️

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

Quiet's good sassy59! I'm glad you had fun with your little grandson. This definitely is a time of year to enjoy home and being warm and cosy. I need a shoehorn to get me out and about most days! It's so nice to catch up with some reading and crafting. Yes, it was just lovely to meet up with my friend after such a long time and to find her so chipper despite all her health challenges and her busy life as a carer! I hope some of her attitude rubs off on me! Take care and keep warm too xx 😊👍💖

Hi Sue your friend is amazing I had ulcerative colitis when I reached 5o out the blue my colon was bleeding and the mucosa protective layer very thin and ulcerated I went on a special diet no high fibre and by the time I got to see the medication specialist who said id need them for life or have to have a bag, I said I'm better I got a examination and it showed my colon was still thin but no longer ulcerated, so it was like a miracle I did read since it can be a one off and food related and the body attacks the immunity cells during stress or extra mature cheddar cheese which I'd had a lot of the specialist even said this, I had some medication for a tummy ulcer and that seemed to clear my colon up too, I guess I'll never know what caused the inflammation maby a few things, I've been ok now for 7 half years on off with tummy indegestion and pain but lanzaprozil as and when needed cures it, my new year went strange I ended up feeling very down and after a dangerous binge drink I' back living at mam's, I never drank Xmas or new year's eve, not drank now for 5 nights tonight, as you know I moved home to my house with PTSD never really settled looking to put back for sale by February still got some work to do I am swimming every day now which helps my moods and to sleep, so let's hope for a happy new year for us all 🤗😽🐆🌟🌻roll on spring

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to

I do hope you'll be able to move on this year Mandy as I don't think you'll ever be happy in that house with its bad memories for you. Ulcerative colitis is a horrible thing to deal with and I'm sure it's much the best thing not to drink alcohol if possible, so well done. And thank goodness you have your mam in your life for times when it's too tough to be in your own house. Not long till February, and the housing market usually picks up then too!

Years ago when I worked in catering there was a colleague there who had UC and most of the time she would be fine and then it would flare up and it would get nasty!

It's not fun is it when you feel trapped in a place where you aren't happy as I have been there myself and what I did was I made sure I was there as little as possible and I did move eventually but had to have waited!

Today I have had a short walk out which did me good as I didn't go out yesterday for one as it wasnt very nice outside.

Yesterday evening I heard from that job I interviewed for on Thursday and was happy when they said I hadn't got it as when I was at interview they were disorganised and a member of staff was rude to me which had turned me off and I was happy when they rang to say I hadn't got the job as now I know and don't have to sit around worrying over the weekend over the result!

I feel not getting the job was a blessing in disguise as it was only a 12 month temporary one anyway!

in reply to Callendersgal

I remember you saying I was brave going back there think you was wise and knew bad vibres would just haunt me been of Buddhist enlightenment yes me been a most of my life vegetarian certainly didn't help my mind set on having to have rats killed it went against all my beliefs as I won't even kill a fly not sure I mentioned after rats came flies 8o a day up windows I cought them.all put them out one got crushed under glass then the black flying Beatles that nested in loft was ongoing I still have nightmares about them, my house started to have the rat aroma too again as winter came and doors shut the wee in the roof never goes, and knowing of the lovely houses like mam's I have missed in between I can't get over good riddens not worth killing myself over even if end up at mam's forever 🤗🤯🌛🌻xx

Your friend sounds like one amazing lady, and I wish her well on her cancer journey, I'll be thinking of her and her husband who I also send warm wishes to.

I'm really fed up now, it takes a good half an hour, sometimes longer, just to get dressed, consequently I'm not going out as much as I should, the weather doesn't help either. Earlier in the week the OT came out and I used the bath board for the first time which is doable for me, afternoon on the same day physio came out, we went for a short walk so she could assess my outdoor mobility which is fine, yesterday I was going to walk to the shops but it started raining just as I left home so I turned and went back home, plus side is that was my first solo walk, I've been in today due to the rain. I'm writing this at 4.10pm and it's still light outside so evenings are beginning to get a bit lighter

Next week I've got my first check up on my hip, somewhat scared a) will there be a problem and b) last time I had an out Patients appt I stayed in for 11 days, hopefully all will be well and I can start bending again which will make life a whole lot easier for me

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Jennymary

Sorry you're feeling fed up Jennymary. It is frustrating I know to suddenly be held back in the things you once took for granted and you're right that the weather's not conducive to going out much at all. I think it's wonderful that you've noticed a slight change in the evening light. We'll all feel better and ready for a walk once the days lengthen a little more and we head into February, hopefully. But I'm so glad overall that you are still heading in the right direction and you have done wonderfully well after such a serious accident!

Wow. I hope I can be like your friend at 83 and like Betty White at 100. I had a friend who lived with cancer12 years beyond expectations. Her family thought it was because she found humor in everything.

I had a good week….I drove 60 miles round trip to a dental appointment, by myself and no phone to a city I’m not familiar with. I packed water, coffee, magazines, meds, a blanket and I can’t remember what else ……thought of bringing a change of clothes just in case, but said to myself….nah, you’re overthinking it. If my car breaks down there surely will be a good samaritan to help me out in the nick of time. time (next week) I should bring some goodies for the person (just in case). And my steering wheel made it home in one piece. 😉Happy days are here again!

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Isinatra

I agree that humour is so important to making a good recovery from anything, along with sheer grit and determination and that spirit which says, 'hey I'm still here. I woke up this morning, so I'm going to enjoy this day'. Glad to hear you had a good week, and that's what I call being prepared when setting off on a journey. But very pleased to hear you made it safely back home!


The world is full of amazing people who provide inspiration to us all.First Christmas without my Mum so felt a bit flat. Had a nice time with my Daughter and Grandkids though.

Worried about my Husband who hS health issues that have to be dealt with soon. Not a great start to the New year. In fact I am wondering if his appointments will go ahead with all the problems in the hospitals.

My sister has covid so worried about her.

I thought I had wound up my Mum's affairs after her passing but had a letter from a debt company claiming she owed a scottish electric company some money. We had never heard of them. No post from these people in my Mum's home. My niece always paid mums bills and she has confirmed she had never paid them. Always British Gas.

Wrote to them asking for evidence of this so called debt and what dates it covers.

Take care everyone.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Lynd

Hi Lynd, indeed a challenging start to the new year for you, and worries niggling away in the background make it all very unsettling. I do hope your husband's appointment will go ahead despite the omicron situation with hospitals. Some appointments are too important to be safely put off and I hope that's realised in his case.It's understandable too that you will have missed your mum so much this year. I expect you always will, but the first year always seems to be much more challenging in terms of mood and the wish to celebrate anything really.

That really sounds quite bogus with the electricity company. You and your sister are very wise to seek more information about what this pertains to. Although most scams seem to be online these days, it doesn't preclude postal ones altogether, or there could just be some kind of muddle that's occurred. I hope you get it sorted out successfully. It's never good having that sort of problem hanging over you!

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra in reply to Lynd

There are scoundrels who make it their business to find people who have passed and then take advantage of their loved ones at their most vulnerable of times. You’re very wise to question the odd request for money. 👍🏼

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