Father has lung cancer and i have to travel 4 hours everyday too see him and im already breaking

[Quarkey]

Hello all. I remember the last post in HL was about my liver but now a have a much more serious problem, my father now has lung cancer and the hospital is 2 hours drive from me. I can't go and see him everyday so what do I do. I am completely exhausted and its only been 5 days and this might go on more months. I also have things too do here of course and I live alone so how do i manage this? I am lucky I dont have too do the driving my sisters boyfriend does it but still I dn;t think it will be long before his had enough of driving 4 hours every day 2 there and 2 back.

[Chelle_]

why not go and stay over night once or twice a week, it'll be cheaper and less exhausting that travelling so much every day. x

[Hidden]

Chelle is absolutely right. Reduce the visits you do. He's in hospital being well cared for. Why not phone him every day instead? Many hospital beds have phones with the tvs. I know it's not cheap but maybe between your family you could split the cost ? It's going to cost less than fuel, parking etc.

Visiting so often will undoubtedly become a chore and you will rapidly run out of things to say. So I'd ring everyday even if it's just to get a message to him to say you love him and thinking of him.

[AyrshireK]

I agree with the others who are advising a reduction in visiting - of course you want to be there for your Dad but could you get him a cheapo mobile phone and perhaps ring him rather than travel every day - I am supposedly healthy but the 3 weeks my hubby was in hospital just 20 minutes away absolutely knocked the stuffing out of me.

Did you see him every single day before he was hospitalised?

You have to be really careful too, if you have a poorly liver your immune system won't be 100% and as you get more and more tired, you'll get more and more run down and you could land yourself with one of the nasty hospital infections which will absolutely knock you for six & potentially lead to you being hospitalised too.

My hubby used to care for his father with alzheimers and dementia and saw him daily, however, when he was admitted to care and my hubby became ill with his liver we were unable to visit at all for some years - hubby was on the transplant list for a spell plus he was physically so weak we couldn't make the 4 + hour journey to England to see him. Sometimes (and it isn't selfish) your own health and future have to take a bit of priority.

Best wishes to you,

Katie xx

[Hidden in reply to AyrshireK]

Always good advice from you Katie.

X

[Quarkey in reply to AyrshireK]

I don;t think mobile phones are allowed in the hospital. I think they supposably mess with the hospitals equipment so they certainly wouldn;t be allowed in the icu

[AyrshireK in reply to Quarkey]

Most hospitals do allow them on wards now, however, ICU probably not.

[Quarkey in reply to AyrshireK]

we'll soon find out when i go up today

[Quarkey]

I was dads carer before he was hospitalized and yes I seen him everyday I have been for over a decade, he helped me greatly when I had too get too the doctor for my liver but that was a 7km drive and 1 1hr drive but this is a 4 hour drive everyday. I have too go abck to the hospital today because his having a biopsy but I don;t think I can keep going I think Katie is right I am at risk being in the hospital myself. I can stay up there but in truth I am usually begging too go home by the end of the day where I feel I can relax. I may not be able to reply for a couple of days I may have too stay up there tonight and wont be back till late tomorrow.