Binge Drinking and trying to start a family

[FreshPage]

I suffer from depression and anxiety and fallen into an awful habit of binge drinking. I just can't have one drink. I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person and one drink leads to many. I wanted to quit because it's ruining my marriage but I never wanted to really quit. I just couldn't imagine not having alcohol in my life. But yesterday I scared myself I drank way too much at a pool party too quickly and when I came home I don't remember much I went upstairs and passed out in the guest room. My husband and I are at odds because I drank last Friday night and kind of embarrassed myself at a birthday party. I have made small efforts to quit but I have never fully committed to quiting. I REALLY WANT TO QUIT. I fear for my declining health if I continue down this path and I'm afraid I'm damaging my chances of being able to conceive. My husband and I have been trying for years to have a baby and for the first time feel it's my heavy drinking that's hindering our chances. I want to live a clean and healthy lifestyle and not crave alcohol. I want to repair my body and my marriage. I fear it's almost too late.

[Litimag]

I fully understand the all or nothing thing, I am exactly the same. I tried for years to drink sensibly, but always slipped back into the damaging, oblivion drinking habit. It was only when I woke up one morning to find myself yellow that I was scared straight so to speak. Unfortunately for me, I had already caused devastating, irreversible damage to my liver. That was eighteen months ago, eighteen horrific months..involving several acute hospital admissions, including ITU on more than one occasion. You sound very sensible, and you seem aware that you are a "problem" drinker. People need different levels of support I find, the fact that you have posted on here sounds like you want help and are willing to confront the issue.

First port of call should be your GP, she/he can arrange for a wee chat with an alcohol nurse specialist. Also to take some blood for liver function tests, which will indicate how much damage has been caused. These tests may well show you are lucky, and no damage done.

I am no expert on alcohol dependency, other than subjectively with myself, but I recommend coffee..lots and lots of coffee. It's good for the liver, and still gives a buzz during social occasions

You want kids, that has to be a huge motivator to moderate your behavior, in this I wish you well. Never had any myself, and I regret it now.

So be proactive, get yourself to the GP and own your problem.

Good luck, and best wishes.

[Carey4]

Your an alcoholic like me.A binge alcoholic.The sooner you realise it the better.

I'm trying so hard to stop drinking.

I'm 41 and I hope like me you will stop.

I know about the blackouts it's all the time with me.

If your husband doesn't support you get rid of him..don't need no one dragging you down.

Good luck

[Mel2637]

I think you need to get drinking under control before bringing a baby into the picture they need all your love and concentration plus you need to quit before it causes medical problems.

[Becca75]

cold turkey is the only way to go when dealing with an addiction - it's a behaviour (drinking) and the best way I've found is to replace the behaviour with a more acceptable one - so every time you feel the urge, do the new behaviour. I don't drink - used to like wine when I was in my early 20's - but never understood alcohol or the need / want for it. But I do eat - and that's my addiction. I used to be a total snacker in the evenings too - and I replaced the behaviour with making tea - so every time I'd get the urge to go browsing around my kitchen to find something to snack on - I'd make a cup of tea. My hands were busy and it took time. it helped a ton.

with the drinking however - although you can try to replace it - first you need to understand WHY you feel you can't live without it. You need to know what the pay off is for drinking (for you) and find another way to provide the same pay off that isn't destructive.

Good luck

[AyrshireK in reply to Becca75]

Going cold turkey as you say for someone with an alcohol problem is not the best way at all and can in fact be extremely dangerous depending on the personal circumstances of the drinker and level of drinking. Alcohol withdrawal can prove fatal or lead to extreme physical & mental health issues so a drinker is advised to get personal medical based advice and support for their move to abstinence.

[Becca75 in reply to AyrshireK]

Yes It can be - and I don't know the history of this case - in terms of how it might prove dangerous. Hopefully a doctor has been consulted for healthy ways to quit. I know my Grandma who drank - and doctor's said that quitting cold turkey could be dangerous and they were looking into helping her - but she had dementia and forgot she drank - and fortunately there were no health issues from that.

[7265sunlower in reply to AyrshireK]

Well said everyone s different. X

[Paulio in reply to Becca75]

Very good comment

[FreshPage]

Thank you everyone for your input.

I really appreciate everyone's advice.

This is an everyday struggle and I need to be sober one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Just curious, how does everyone keep from relapsing? What keeps you in check?

[Brummi]

Hi, try to curb the drinking before considering having a child. Speaking from experience my father was a heavy drinker. Week-ends was a nightmare for us waiting for him to come home and what mood he would be in, the drinker he was the less food on the table and he was violent. For one minute I am not saying you are like this but for your health and future give up drinking or cut down..

[Gabrielle27]

I suffer with anxiety and depression and used alcohol as a bit of a crutch. I can't just stop at one I don't have a cut off point, but a couple of weeks ago I woke up and thought I want the last few years of my 20s to be the best! I want to get fit, healthy, active and if I'm lucky enough start a family. I haven't drunk since. But have scared my self crazy that I have already done damage and that I have cirrhosis, I rang the helpline on here as I couldn't stop crying and couldn't concentrate, sleep or anything as I was convinced I had ruined my life. They were great and helped put my mind at rest a bit as have others on here, however reading some horror stories on Google etc has been enough to put me of alcohol for good! I never drank every night or every weekend so have managed to quit it quite easily. I'm to scared to go for a blood test though. Good luck and maybe speak to your gp if you are concerned xx

[Lperica10]

Please don't ever say it is too late. It is NOT too late. Quit not only for your future baby, your husband, but for YOURSELF. talk to your dr or a counselor or a trusted friend and they can guide you or help you. My dad died from drinking this year at 63 and I wish more than anything he could've quit and he would still be here today. You can do it. My dad had a drinking problem and quit when I was 2 - he went to rehab and was sober 13 years! And then unfortunately when back. But I believe you CAN do it. Not only can it wreck your marriage and other things along the way but what it does to your health over the years is just awful. Good luck. Are u in the U.K. ? Jw Bc I'm in the us and a lot on here are U.K.