a question about family drinking around people with ARLD

[Rshc]

my partner (transplant listed) has ARLD and has not had a drink since diagnosis 22.12.21 (almost a year!) and I am so proud of him. He has never asked me not to drink and now and then goes out with his dad and brother and has a lemonade whilst they have a beer and he says it doesnt bother him. I have had almost nothing to drink since his diagnosis and certainly never in front of him. My last drink was a glass of wine at a friends dinner party about 5 months ago. I guess alcohol makes me feel weird now - its no longer a nice relaxing thing to do to have a drink, I see it differently.

Does anyone with a partner with ARLD drink around them for people with ARLD how do you feel about people drinking around you. We are having people over for Christmas and my partner wants to serve them wine and he says he really doesnt mind and wants people to enjoy themselves but I feels a bit funny about it but also a tiny bit of me would quite like a glass of wine with my Christmas dinner and even though he says he doesnt mind I want to show him I am with him all the way and he has my support and I feel not drinking is the way to do this

Thanks

[lonmallin50]

I got ARLD l go to the pub everyday it does not bother me people drinking next to me your husband won't mind it seems to me if he can go out and drink lemonade and not bother him, people for christmas won't bother him l am would be quite happy to pour drinks for people when they come round and see me at home your husband done great staying off it that long l been dry now for 10 months now enjoy christmas and have a glass off wine

lon

[Rshc in reply to lonmallin50]

thank you for your perspective and a huge well done for your 10 months alcohol free, that is a huge achievement x

[Lippy42]

Hi my hubby is 7 months post transplant alcohol liver disease. I felt the same st first and although i dont drink often i do still have the odd glass or a night out .I'm the main driver for now so this also stops me drinking as hubby still not able to drive .As for others drinking in front of him my hubby didnt want anyone acting differently around him if they want a drink then he wants them to . The last thing he wants is no one coming round as they cant be themselves .Hope this helps take care and hope he gets his gift soon x

[Rshc in reply to Lippy42]

bless you Lippy, your reply really has helped thank you x

[Lils2019]

Hi,

My husband always used to say you can have a drink, I don’t mind, however in 2 1/2 years I never brought any alcohol into the house, I was totally behind him and supporting him, we celebrated birthdays and Christmas etc with soft drinks, we didn’t need to drink to enjoy celebrations.

This year as husband is no longer with us sadly, I have brought a bottle of wine to have with Christmas Lunch, and that is the first bottle of alcohol I have brought home in 2 1/2 years and must admit it felt really strange, I am not a drinker and I suppose I’m really lucky that I can take it or leave it, last drink I had was last week at the work’s Christmas party and before that was March, again a works meet up.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas and enjoy the celebrations with or without alcohol x

Take Care x

[pushthrough]

I think it depends on the person. I have arld and coming up on 2 years with 0 alcohol. Feels great. My in-laws and wife have wine now and then and it doesn’t bother me at all. I hate the smell of it and haven’t had an urge to drink since I quit.

[Ewife]

Hello,My husband says he doesn't mind me drinking, my son drinks in front of him, but I have always told him we're a team, so I won't. I feel like if he has to make lifestyle changes, ill do it with him. I don't enjoy alcohol anymore anyway - last time I tried it, I didn't like the way it made me feel. We have enjoyed exploring other relaxing hobbies and interests together and I feel like my husbands illness has actually made us closer as a couple. For me, the whole team/we're in it together thing has really worked.

Atb

Ewife

[55spenc]

Hi, it completely depends on the individual, I still go to the pub, but don’t drink, my lady drinks around me, she works for the NHS so I can’t deny her that pleasure of relaxing at weekends! If it helps him and he can handle it let him get on with it!

[Dinah48]

It definitely depends on the individual. My OH (arld cirrhosis) is fine with me having wine and doesn’t want me to give it up (what little I drink of it). I’d never drink his former drink of choice in the house though.

[Rshc]

thanks so much everyone for sharing your perspective, I think it’s still too soon for me to contemplate drinking around my partner (particularly as he was hospitalised during last Xmas) but I will relax the rules and let visitors have a glass of wine if they like