Just wanted to say this is not a place I ever in a million years imagined myself to be . I have never drank everyday ,mainly shared a bottle with my husband at the weekend although in the last few years we started to share bottles in the week . I enjoyed cooking with glass of wine . I spoke to a friend last night telling her what I fear is around the corner whilst talking about someone who died from organ failure due to alcohol and her words were , " but she was a alcoholic for 25 years"
Nobody I know would ever had said I had an alcohol problem including my husband. I regularly been gifted wine from friends for minding cats and doing favours . Not something they would do if they thought I had a problem.
I have spent many hours with a friend who teaches a level biology at college who doesn't even want to believe that this is what I will be diagnosed with . We have meals with other mums and everyone was drinking and nobody looked at me and said do you think you should be having that ?
I had a really crappy childhood . Really crappy . My mum has a severe personality disorder and the police were at our house every weekend to try and deal with it . She woke me up nightly screaming and throwing things that was even when I was doing my A levels . Despite this I got my degree and went to uni at a time when only 10 percent of children went to university .
I suffered from depression almost straight away after leaving home and then whilst teaching insomnia and stress headaches . My brother became a heroine addict and then died from alpha1 deficiency related emphysema.
I then developed a host of illnesses, graves disease thyroid eye disease .M.E .and pancreatic insufficiency.
Perhaps I saw alcohol as a way of relieving stress ,I probably drank too quickly. Binged drank .Perhaps I had too many problems , my mum up until a few months ago would come over and spend most if the time insulting me ,demeaning me .
I Just wanted to say this to the forum as I'm really struggling . You never know what brought them here .