Evening all

Just wanted to update on hubby...Today i went out at 9 am to have coffee with a freind i thought hubby would be a sleep for while because he didnt go to bed until 3 30 am. At 10 am hubby rang me to ask me where i was ? i had told him the night before a few times that i would be going for a coffee, but his memory is so bad he cant remember what i said ten mins ago let alone few hours , i always leave a note incase he does wake and wonder where i am.He turned up at the cafe which is 5 min walk from my place all shaken up, he had fallen and couldnt get up so was helped up, his legs had given way , because they are swollen,still infected and also no muscle there. Thats the second time he has fallen,first time was with me last fri early evening. He wants to go to the drs in the morning because its bothering him and i said all they will tell you is what they always tell you, you need to give up the booze, and he said they dont know what they are talking about. Its very frustrating because we get there and they say the same thing and he dont listen , its his 49th birthday tomorow and he laughed and said they will give me a birthday present called a hospital bed..No point in that either because he always has half the treatment and feels bit better and signs himself out.

He was sick when we got home and very unwell. It was my sons bd and it was arranged that we go to my sons to give him his present and card, i said to him we can stay home , he said no i want to go , we got there and he fell asleep.

love to you all ..

17 Replies

  • Evening lyn , aww bless you . I wished I lived closer to you so I could help It's nice that you are able to meet friends for coffee even if your hubby was confused . Sorry to hear his Legs are still bad ? Thought they were better now . So it's hubbys birthday tomorrow .. I hope and I pray that he has the help he is offered, but we know of how his reaction.lyn . I just worry about you having to deal with this . He is still so very very young . I was 46 when I was diagnosed . I did email you . If you need to talk you know where I am

    Hope tomorrow is a good day 😑.. Love Linda xxx

  • Hi linda ,thanx for your reply, yes i did get your email but forgot to reply sorry.

    I meet a freind for coffee every wed always have done, she is like my adopted mum but its only been the last fewwees that i have been able to tell her how ill hubby is without her judging him, after he had come to the cafe and i was alone i rang her and asked her what she thought about hubby and how he looked , because even though i have told her whats going on she hasnt seen him since the wedding in june this year, she said lyn he looks terrible. The infection in his legs seems to be getting better because they arent all red just patchy red but still swollen and very painful to walk on.

    The friend i mentioned that died , i talked to his mother inl aw yesterday and she said that he had liver problems a few years back and was being treated for it, (he was never a heavy drinker) and his son who is 18 was going to give him some of his healhy liver but when they done tests on him to check if he would be ok thats when they discovered he had cancer, and he was 48 when he had liver failure.Everything she was telling me was like listening to someone talk about hubby, all the symptoms, all the toilet accidents, his reaction. everything.

    Hubby does have decompensated liver, he wont go in and have a scan done or camera down to see if he has cirrhosis.

    Hubby was ready for bed at 10,20 pm and after getting into bed he started getting pains in his stomach and heartburn, i asked him if the pain was lower stomach because thats where it usually is and he said no its hurting all over, he started making noises,went very pale and he looked at me with fear in his eyes, i have to admit i did panic for a bit but then he started being sick to the point where he couldnt catch his breath, seemed like ages but was proberly only mins and then he fell backwards in the bed exasuted and fell asleep. Will be mentioning about him being sick n stuff to the drs and will wait n see what they say, looks like its going to be another long day today,

    Take care .Lyn:x

  • I do not know how you hold up but you do. Its very sad listening to it but you must let it all out. Its great to hear you were able to get out a bit. Keep doing that. If he struggled to make it to the shop, its probably the most alive feeling he has had in a long time. So in an odd way, it was good for him. He got out, he experienced what life is, its a struggle. Best wishes always.

  • Thanx catfish. I dont know either if im honest, How are things your end??

  • Doing ok. Now finished with the doctors. No hope of transplant but many ideas to improve my quality of life none of which I believe in so now I am going back to myself and simply living. About to have a beautiful cup of organic Egyptian Chammoile tea then go for a ride in my car to look at the body of the ocean and island in a bit of sunlight. We are having a rainy cloudy spell for weeks, once its sunny again, I bet I cycle. Aloha

  • Glad your doing ok catfish,love reading on your progress.:). that tea sounds nice, im not one to try different flavour teas but it sounds nice. I love the ocean there is something so peacful and carming about the ocean. think its because the waves are all different and they flow freely without a care in the world. Its been a very foggy day here, Its 7,30 pm and its dark now this time of the year.

    take care.

  • hi lynn yes like the others im pleased to hear that you got out for a coffee today as a change of scenery even for an hour is often helpful. i do feel for you.it was nice that you managed to get down to your sons on his birthday and give him his card and present. those are the nice memories that you need to remember. im also concerned that your not getting proper support and having to deal with all this on your own, thanks for keeping us updated we always like to hear from you.at least he wants to go to the doctor tomorrow thats a good thing as he needs to get this leg thing sorted. is it cellulitis it does sound like that. he may need to go to the hospital and get penicillin in a main line vein, also they make keep him in as he needs to keep those legs ellevated. its all so sad. love grace xoxo 🙏🤗

  • Hi grace.

    If i am honest i dont know what other support i can be given, i know i can vent on here, Yeah was nice seeing my son and enjoying his bd with him. Im not sure what it is , the dr said infection so not sure they arent in a hurry to find out whats wrong at his drs. Yeah he seems to think thats what they will do today , send him into the hospital , You know you said about keeping his feet elevated? the one dr told him to walk on it as much as he could and yet one dr told him to rest them, i cant stand his drs ,there are 5 drs in that practice and they all come out with completeing diferent things hubby has..One is lovely where it comes to explaining things to me but not when it comes t treatment for hubby. But i guess their hands are tied when he stil drinks..I remember one time hubby telling the dr that he was going to give up the drink and that he had gone a whole two days without a drink and his reply was thats good but we have been down this road before so will see how long it lasts.Just managed to get an appointment for 10,20 am, they never know what dr he will see till he gets there. Will keep you informed.

    Take care


  • You know ignoring the drink he really is trying isn't he?

    I really don't have any advice but carry on doing what you're doing xxx

  • thanx geffy..just replied to grace about hubby not wanting the appointment now, my freind was right yesterday when she said i dont think he will ever give up now,its been to long for him. So yes he is trying, very trying..sorry just my humor ..

  • Lol! I meant trying to be involved in normal life hun. I don't think he will stop and someone commented recently, it may be worse or make little difference if he did stop drinking now. Keep your humour going xxx

  • thanx geffy, hubby is still sleeping and its 3,10 pm, good way to spend your birthday i suppose.....i agree he wont stop the fact he felt he needed a drink before the drs says it all. and if im honest i agree i dont think it will make a difference to his health, it will take years to get back and then he will have ended up with bad health, it wil be hard work for him and so even if he did manage to give it up to get well he wouldnt be able to cope and would start drinking again anyway.

    If anything he has managed to get to his bd, as long as he lasts till christmas then that will be good.

  • just keep on coming on here if its helping. if i were you i'd ask the doctor for a diagnosis and then you will know for sure what he has. im betting on cellulitis. it sounds like that and its very painful. i thought it was getting better. there are about 8 or more doctors in my surgery and its not easy to get the same one each time. but i always ask what i have is there a name for it what is the diagnosis. then i can find out more about it and you will be able to tell people on here what the diagnosis is and they will be able to share theri experience with you. as we dont know what is is as we are not doctors i know what is sounds like but thats not good enough. as many illness;s sound the same with the same symptoms.all the best at the doctors today. god bless you lynn. i cant tell you what to do. i just hope that you do right by yourself and put yourself first as your only a young woman, alcohol is robbing your husbands life away dont let it take yours away too.i hate to hear of you sobbing your heart out. love grace xoxoxo🙏

  • Awe ty Grace....It helps alot coming on here to talk but also helps me to help others. Well its 9,20 am i just woke hubby up and wished him happy birthday, he said thanx i said i have an appoinment for you at 10,20 am, he said oh no ill have to have some booze if im going to the drs just incase they send me into hospital, i went out to make a cuppa and he shouted out lyn, i said what? he said cancel the appointment and said he doesnt want to go, he will go tommorow, i said i have got up purposly this early to get the appointment for you, im not getting up tommorow morning early again, you have to ring at 8,30 am to get an appointment or you wont get one,he said dont worry about it and rolled over and gone back to sleep, so i have cancelled his appointment, i wasnt going too i was going to let him get into trouble but some poor person might not have been able to get an appointment because of them all gone, come to think about it i could have gone and talked to the dr, but whats the point? so letting someone else have it. So annoying and very selfish.

  • Hi Lyn

    If you ever need a little support on the phone our helpine is open 10-3 pm on 0800 652 7330

    Warm wishes


  • lol thanx albe,:).

  • Well its 7 50 pm and hubby is still sleeping. As i mentioned earlier hubby never made it to the drs today.

    At 4 pm he got out of bed, picked up his clothes to put on and started being sick, i went to help him and he fell back onto the bed, he laid there in agony and refused to let me call an ambulance and said il be ok i just need to sleep to get rid of the pain and stop the sickness, so thats what he did. He has stirred once since then. At 6 pm i was so exausted i laid on the sofa to try and get some sleep and as i closed my eyes my phone went so i ignored it, closed my eyes again almost drifting off and a text came through, this happened a few times , i know turn the phone off right? but if my kids cant get hold of me or i didnt reply to texts they would banging my door to see if im ok. Its mad though because my phone hadnt rung , no text the whole time i was awake, the moment i decide to rest it goes off all the time. I did manage to get an hour, now im awake havent heared anything, lol. So not much fun for hubby sleeping the whole day on his birthday. I know its a day without any drink in him but the amount he drinks usually isnt going to make much difference missing one day.

    Take care all.

    And remember to tell your loved ones you love them everyday, because you never know when it will the last time you can tell them to their face.

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