I lost my dad on 10/12/16 : My dad... - British Liver Trust

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I lost my dad on 10/12/16

Lperica10 profile image
47 Replies

My dad passed on Wednesday October 12. I got to hold his hand until the end. I love him so much and will miss him so much. The past few days were a whirlwind with the funeral planning, funeral, out of town family in, and a lot of decisions. Still doesn't seem real. Still think he's going to call me even though I have his cell phone.

If any one has any questions I would answer them honestly because for the last few months all I would think about and look for answers on how the "end" would be for end stage liver disease/cirrhosis. Now I know how my dads passing was. (I know every one is different but I just wanted to share because I had such anxiety for the past few mos and leading up until this just not knowing how/when it would happen).

On here has been such a great support system. Thanks to everyone.

Here is a picture of my dad and I from my wedding 8/25/2012.

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Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10
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47 Replies
susieanna profile image
susieanna

Very sad for you and your family; a horrendous disease; i hope your dad passed without pain? ; im guessing the end of this disease could go several ways; though all the hideous things leading up to it are vile; sending you warmest wishes. xx

Catfishjumpin profile image
Catfishjumpin

Ah I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I would appreciate hearing of your father's dying experience. My father died suddenly of liver cancer 2005, I have it now but there is still some hope. You and your father have the same eyes and gentle smile. I am sure he was a lovely father. Bless you. Catfishjumpin

Estiebargle profile image
Estiebargle

Just beautiful. You can tell what a lovely connection the two of you have.

Thanks for sharing. Look after yourself. I hope you have lots of support.

Kia kaha,

Stephanie

kitkatkaz profile image
kitkatkaz

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, he was very lucky to have you by his side, and I believe he will be by yours throughout your life. I believe that about my parents, whenever I see a white feather fluttering on the ground I know they are there and whatever I'm doing I think of them and say hello. Sending you lots of hugs and wishing you and your family strength at this time.

soooze50 profile image
soooze50

Sincerest condolences for your loss, I too lost my Mother on the same day, so am dealing with the grief while caring for my friend with liver disease and Liver Cancer. How did the last couple of weeks go for your Dad. Was he in hospital? My friend is in a lot of pain, sleeps a lot in the day but cannot sleep at night and has terrible drenching night sweats. Hope you are ok with my queries...and the photo is beautiful..:)

in reply tosoooze50

My sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time, caring for your friend whilst dealing with your own grief.

My thoughts and prayers are with you 🙏🏻

Jacqui xx

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10 in reply tosoooze50

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and I thank you for your support as well. Hope you are doing ok.

Such a beautiful photo. I'm glad you got to be with him at the end. Thinking of you and your family. Xx

LemongrassDays4U profile image
LemongrassDays4U

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Urbanblanks profile image
Urbanblanks

So sorry for your loss xx

scotslass333 profile image
scotslass333

What a beautiful picture. So sorry for your loss, he was still your dad despite everything he went through, and put you through as well. Addiction is a terrible thing, and comes in so many forms, not just to alcohol. I'm speaking from personal experience here... You have been a wonderful daughter and did your best for your dad. Do allow yourself to grieve, it's a huge loss...and it's ok to even feel a bit of relief that it's all over. You're in my thoughts and prayers. x

hb25 profile image
hb25

I Am so sorry for your loss. I am in a similar situation, my dad has end stage liver disease and I am anxious every day wondering what's next. I would really appreciate if you could tell us what the last few weeks were like. I hope you are doing ok. I lost my mum 5 years ago so I really can understand the pain of losing a parent. It does get better and you will get through this.

What a beautiful picture and memory, your dad looks so proud of you. Sending loads of hugs, We are all here for you as its so hard for you, i know your dad was your rock and life.

You have put in some great support for everyone and even in your grief you are willing to still support and help others to understand what might happen in the last days.

Mary31 profile image
Mary31

So sorry to hear your father died, but glad you were able to be with him. My thoughts go out to you all mourning loved ones at this time. Thank you for your kind offer and I am sure some of us will have questions to ask. With love.

jennajay profile image
jennajay

Thinking of you at this terribly sad time xx jenny

What a lovely photo and message , it is such a cruel disease , my thoughts are with you xx

h0b0 profile image
h0b0

So sorry for your loss.xx

jeqe2000 profile image
jeqe2000

Sorry for your loss my dear. You and your dad were beautiful together. He was lucky to have you by his side when his time came. You will feel better as time goes on. I am suffering from the same disease and always wonder what the end will be like. May God bless you and your family.

Geffy22 profile image
Geffy22

I am so sorry to hear your dad passed away. He will always be with you because you are his legacy and take your time getting back on the conveyor belt of everyday life. I know you will remember him fondly with love. Bless you x

wrightr444 profile image
wrightr444

I lost my dad on the 3rd of August due to hepatic encephalopathy he had end stage liver cirrhosis to and all that came with it. He was only 52. Not only my dad but my best friend. I miss him so much it hurts. It was a horrific few months filled with so much worry about what the future held. We wernt prepared for anything i think we just clung onto hope to the end. My deepest condolances to you and your family. Thinking of yous x

Geffy22 profile image
Geffy22 in reply towrightr444

wrightr444 i am so sorry to gear your dad passed away. My kids lost their dad at the ripe old age of 50 (theyre young teens) and they have both had a very difficult time of it. I had to carry on but with counselling am now in the grief cycle.

End stage liver failure is horrendous as you say, we had no idea, all i knew was what i googled and there are no honest stories there, but it can be pain-free and peaceful and i hope your dads was like that.

Bless you xx

wrightr444 profile image
wrightr444 in reply toGeffy22

Thanks Geffy22 its been a very hard few months with the days seeming to get harder as they go by. I finally accepted that i need counsiling to get through the cycle, i have been bottling so much emotions up, afraid to cry incase i upset my kids. What i seen on that final day just wont leave my mind. Its times like these you need your dad the most. 😓 Wish you and your family love and healing for the future xx

Mushroom-71 profile image
Mushroom-71

God bless you and your dad xxx

Deep condolences from all at The British Liver Trust.

Ginnymax profile image
Ginnymax

God bless you all , so sorry , xx

tyleri profile image
tyleri

A lovely photograph. love and prayers xx

I am so sorry to hear your very sad news of the loss of your dad, it was lovely to read that you got to hold his hand until the end, in months to come I hope that brings you great comfort.

I totally understand all the anxiety you went through during the weeks/months before he passed away. My dad passed away on 9 January 2015 from end stage liver failure as a result of PSC and I didn't know what to expect from one day to the next. Some days it still doesn't feel real but, like you, I held his hand til the end and hope that it gave him as much comfort as it did me knowing he wasn't alone.

I now find myself going through all those same anxieties all over again, now with my mum, different condition, and they leave you feeling so upside down.

Every day is precious, I can sense how much your dad meant to you and the photograph of you both is beautiful

Thinking of you.

Jacqui xx

grace111 profile image
grace111

such sad news. and a beautiful photograph. god bless you for holding his hand and being with him at such a very sad and painful time. words always fall short. 💔 love grace. May he now R.I.P.

Helenatonge profile image
Helenatonge

Aww so sorry to hear the sad news your in my thoughts xx

ladyfrances1 profile image
ladyfrances1

What a beautiful picture you have to keep and treasure. I am so sorry to hear you have lost your lovely Dad to this terrible disease, but I am so glad you could be with him to hold his hand. This must have been so hard for you to do, but so comforting for him. Just want to send you much love and hugs right now. xxx

Brummi profile image
Brummi

It's always sad when you lose someone you love. Prayers for you..

Itsadogslife profile image
Itsadogslife

I'm so very sorry and hope that you can take some comfort from being with your dad at the end.

My mum has end stage liver disease and like you were, I am so anxious about what will happen to her and how long we have, it's so brave of you to come on here and offer to share your experience to help others.

Thinking of you xxx

Sorry to hear your sad news. I am sure you were a great comfort to your dad holding his hand, I held my mother's hand when she passed away , I found it a great comfort just to be with her at the end, as I am sure you did. Take care of yourself.

Sykesy01 profile image
Sykesy01

So sorry for your loss and may you find the strength to see you through this difficult time

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10

Thank you for all your kinds words during this difficult time.

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10

As far as sharing my experience, I wanted to write about the last months, weeks, and days. Would it be appropriate for people to private message me, write it on this thread, or start a new thread? I think it'll be therapeutic to me as well as a support to anyone who is going through a similar situation. I had so many questions/thoughts/fears toward the end and I want to help.

soooze50 profile image
soooze50 in reply toLperica10

I would really appreciate you sharing your experience, as I am also going through a similar situation. Yes I agree, this could be a two way form of therapy. Not sure of the best way, but perhaps a new thread is the way to go for those of us who are seeking valid and true experiences. Kind regards Sue

tillycindy profile image
tillycindy in reply tosoooze50

So sorry for your loss. Peace to you both. anne.

sheri44 profile image
sheri44 in reply toLperica10

do it which ever way you feel. If you feel comfortable post it here or on a different post. If you wanna pm do it that way. Wishing you peace xx

sheri44 profile image
sheri44

so very sorry and sad for you and your family. Im sure it was a great comfort to your dad knowing and feeling you there. Thinking of you all right now. Hugs & love to you. May you get peace xx

H1ghtower profile image
H1ghtower

I'm sorry, love.

Jenniferblum1 profile image
Jenniferblum1

I'm so sorry for your loss. My 15 year old girl just lost her dad because he couldn't admit he needed help. He was so prideful and nobody could do a damn thing about it. 😭

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10 in reply toJenniferblum1

I am so sorry. How is your daughter doing? How are you doing? And yes same thing about the pride... it’s tough to deal with.

Jenniferblum1 profile image
Jenniferblum1 in reply toLperica10

She's a basket case and has been for a long time. She stopped cutting a year ago but each scar has a story. It's so frustrating because I just can't take away the pain 😭

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10 in reply toJenniferblum1

Is she able to see a therapist? 15 is such a hard age already (I work in a high school). I know you can’t take the pain away and i bet it is so hard feeling helpless but you are there for her. Do you have any Al Anon meetings nearby ? You can take her to one. Maybe buy her a journal so she can get her feelings out. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.

Jenniferblum1 profile image
Jenniferblum1 in reply toLperica10

She sees a therapist weekly. She was doing so well in school and now she's failing. I'm working with her school counselor as well. I'll definitely look into alanon meetings and ala-teen.

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10 in reply toJenniferblum1

Sounds like you are a wonderful supportive mom she is lucky to have you.

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