Hi. Just want to say a massive thank you to everyone that have been so supportive over the past months. Thanks for all the lovely messages of condolence regarding Terry's mum. Sorry I've no posted recently but not really had the time as you can imagine.
It's been a few weeks of ups & downs but hopefully there are only ups left !
Mums funeral was on Thursday & Terry couldn't attend but the hospital staff looked after him exceptionally well. Lots of his buddies visited to keep him occupied but he was still very down obviously.
Good news is that he came home yesterday & appears to be doing great so far. He has to attend a weekly clinic but that's a small price to pay. I'm the one who's having a hard time getting used to all the new meds.! I could give him his pre op meds with my eyes closed but now this new lot leave me a bit "snot razzled".! No doubt I'll get the gist pretty soon.
The next traumatic part is the letter to the donor family. Terry really wants to write it now but I've told him that he needs to grieve for Mum first then get his head in gear . I don't know if he's expected to write one so soon anyway. ?
Anyway thanks again to everyone & will be in touch again shortly.
Mal.xx
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Sorry about Terry's mum, I don't know if you mentioned this in a previous message but didn't see it. Glad Terry's doing alright though. Maybe when he gets his head round all of this he'd be happy to contribute to this site?
I left my letter until my "anniversary", I don't think there's a rush. It's not like a thank you card, it was the hardest and yet easiest thing I've ever written, getting started was the hard bit. But once I started it just poured out. It's hard to thank someone who lost a loved one like that. Being honest is the best way to approach it. For me, what I took away from my "experience" was an incredible faith in people, a better understanding. I lived my day to day life watching the news and just getting by and never really got the opportunity to see how generous and selfless people are. I got that opportunity, donors, surgeons, nurses, family etc...
It has changed my life in more ways than just a new liver. When I say "just" I mean in addition to.
Thanks. That's exactly what we're thinking. I will have to write the letter as Terry's handwriting is not clever at the moment due to shaking hands. The biggest problem is how to start the letter & also knowing when to stop.
What a lot to deal with all at the same time. The emotional stuff will take time and lots of mutual support (from us as well) but the medication routine needs careful attention. I don't know about other people but even 5 years post transplant I still need to follow a strict regime and doing anything different can throw it out. Signing off with best wishes and my eye on the clock for my tacrolimus tablet at 9.00am!
So glad things are levelling out ready for the upsurge.
I would say that if he wants to write his thank you now it could be the best time.
At the moment he is grieving as are the donor family and so he can understand on an emotional level. He can say anything he would want someone to say to him and how much it means.
Nobody is saying that now or any other time is better and if he writes it now agree to wait a week or so before sending it. It could be a helpful cathartic exercise to express his inner feelings of not being able to say that final goodbye to his mom.
Wishing you a wonderful life from here on out. If anyone deserves it, it is you
I was advised to wait a bit before writing te letter. It's best to collect thoughts etc, I think. Also, I thought, it would be kinder, as someone's family is grieving right now,and the letter might make it worse, or harder,my out Know?
Still, it's up to you. I was given a paper with advice on it...good ideas when and what, etc.
I felt like I should do it right away also, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I waited a couple of months. I was in a better position to really explain my gratitude..but, that's only my experience!
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Update by the wife
