Grief and running

[Pymander10]

Hi Guys

So to start with I’m not sure I’m in the right group but I’ve just finished couch to 5k and want to try to manage a 10k so apologies if I shouldn’t be here

So on the weekend my husband and I tragically and suddenly lost our pet degu who is called Denise. We are both distraught as she meant so much to us. I don’t work due to mental illness and barely leave the house so she was around me all the time as she was a free roamer. She kept me company, helped with my mental health and all in all was one of the best things in my life and helped extremely with my mental health.

So today we took her to the vets and she will be cremated and sent back to us in a casket. It was so hard saying goodbye.

Today was run day and I decided I’d only do a 20 minute run as I was feeling emotionally and physically drained. But as I was running I realised I was feeling all of these emotions rush through me and it actually felt good as I was moving. I decided to carry on after 20 minutes and in the end I had actually ran for 45 minutes! That was the longest run I’ve ever done and it felt so natural I was at ease and so content. Im going to save this run in my diary as a milestone and dedicate it my my beloved Denise.

If anyone out there is grieving I’d truly recommend going for a run. Don’t put a distance in your head just start running and see where it takes you. For me it really helped to get those emotions out and start accepting what had happened.

Happy running everyone

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My condoleances. Losing a pet can be devastating. I lost my childhood bird end 1994 and can still cry if I think about him. Don't want to imagine losing my 2 cats...

Good to hear running helps you with the grief. Maybe it can help with the mental issues too? Though that is very personal. I suffer from anxiety and have had small panic attacks during runs in the past. So for me it does not seem to help. Luckily my meds keep the worst at bay.

[damienair Administrator]

So sorry to hear about your loss. We had a little dog called Amber for 16 years. She went through so much with us as a family and she was very much loved and part of our family. She was there when we got married, when our 2 boys were born, when we moved to our new home and everything else. She passed away in June 2020 during the first lock down. We still miss her. Due to madness surrounding Covid19 it has almost become impossible to get a dog unless your willing to pay stupid amounts of money, which we are not.Well done on your run and I hope that all your future runs bring you the same comfort. Best wishes.

P. S. You are in the right place and welcome to Bridge to 10K.

[WhizzyTwix Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

I lost my beloved Labrador in 2019, I still miss him, they are such a big part of our lives. We got a rescue dog at the end of 2019, just before Covid. I work at a vets and we are finding the rescues we work with are bursting with unwanted pets now, just in case you were thinking of looking... 😀

[damienair Administrator in reply to WhizzyTwix]

Thank you. We have actually been trying to adopt or rescue a dog. But genuinely nobody seems to answer phones or reply to emails anymore and you can't just walk in. We have just given up for the time being.

[WhizzyTwix Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

What sort of dog are you looking for? Often the smaller rescues are less rigid, with children etc... I might be able to recommend some.

[WhizzyTwix Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

I have heard similar from a few people, but think it's changed a bit recently?

[damienair Administrator in reply to WhizzyTwix]

Thank you. Honestly I have filled out so many forms, registered with rescue centres and sent countless emails. No one has every replied, followed up or answered a phone. It just seems to be impossible. I have just given up with the idea of rescue now. My Sister has just become a Mummy to a gorgeous little Cocker Spaniel puppy. The madness of COVID19 seems to be not as big an issue with the price of puppies now. The same demand is not there and the price has dropped a lot. The Sister of my Sisters puppy is available so we might be getting a little doggie again soon. Fingers crossed.

[WhizzyTwix Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

So sorry to hear that, I know that a lot of the rescues have been overwhelmed with enquiries, sometimes with 100's of people applying for every dog, with many ignoring the requirements for their particular requirements. However many seem to be way over the top with what they will allow, meaning dogs end up in kennels when they could be in a home A puppy can bring so much joy, fingers crossed for you getting the cocker, they're gorgeous dogs!

[Speedy60 Graduate10 in reply to damienair]

We got our lovable rogue from a local charity on Facebook that rescues dogs from kill shelters in Bosnia and Romania. It's not for everyone, but it's one of the best decisions we've ever made (along with downloading the couch to 5k app, obviously).

I was going to forward you the name until I realised you're based in Ireland. It may be an avenue worth exploring where you live.

[H4CS Graduate10]

So sorry for your loss and I am so glad to hear running is helping you come to terms with your grief

[Roxdog Graduate10]

I am so sorry you lost your beloved dog. Yes, running really does help. We lost our lovely dog a year ago just before the awful winter lockdown and it felt brutal. We have a new dog now. I remember that running helped me too.Take good care of yourself.

[Sunnytom Graduate10]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved dog over 19 years ago and still think of him every days. It’s so hard. Also had to let one of my beautiful cats go to sleep earlier this year and hurts so much.

Welcome to this amazing group and well done on your run. For me running the mental benefits far outweigh the physical ones.

I too am hoping to plod my way to 10K. Getting there slowly but surely chipping away at it one run at a time x

[Beatlesforever Graduate10]

So sorry for your loss. I lost one of my dogs very suddenly last April and I'm still struggling with my grief so I do feel for you. It's great that you're finding such comfort and release in running. Take care 💕

[Birdlady64 Graduate10]

So sorry to hear about your loss. You are so right about running and grief though. I lost my Dad last Spring, and my sister in law just before Christmas. Running has helped me so much, giving me time, headspace and solace.

Take care and be kind to yourself x

[Phdgranny Graduate10]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear that, we have a dog called Tia and I would be bereft to lose her. I agree what you say about grief. Last year we lost my stepson to a brain tumour, he was just 35 years old. I didn’t run or do much at all for about 4 months, but after Xmas decided to get back into action and repeat C25K, I was previously running 6-10k quite regularly. I am only at week 3 and it has been hard but I am really finding it is helping me to process thoughts in a positive way. Well done for your superb run!

[WhizzyTwix Graduate10]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Our pets become part of our family and such a big part of our lives. I wish I had been a runner when we lost our dog in 2019, I didn't know what to do with myself without the daily walks and company. I'm glad you are finding running helpful for feeling better, I think it's brilliant for good mental health no matter what is going on in your life, but particularly important when dealing with something so upsetting.