Is it wrong that I am feeling upset that my husband has declared that he is going to start running on Monday? He has been to the gym for years but has decided he isn't going back. He is so competitive. He has been walking loads during lock down. It took me a year to build up to running 10k yet I know he will go straight out there and just do one.
Probably very stupid but it just adds to my feeling of not being good enough.
Don’t compete with him just continue your own plan. He will save a fortune not going to the gym so I suggest he treats you to something nice 😇
Not wrong just natural, I was upset that Willow could run faster than me but found i could keep going for longer which made me feel better, and don’t start me on planks, i nearly cried when he just stayed there as i collapsed on the floor, but hey 10k that’s amazing, neither of us has run that far so you be proud because you couldn’t do that last year and it’s an awesome achievement
Run on your own. We always do because I can't keep up (and don't want to). I am not competitive at all, I just want to enjoy my run.
We are only running "together " on Saturdays for our (not) parkruns but he usually goes ahead of me.
However last week I was running better than usual down the 1km warm up hill so I didn't stop to reset my watch for the usual 5km. I ran past him and it took a while for him to catch up because he was waiting for the GPS. I was running really well and got my best time for about a year.
So I did the same again today, without the pb!
I think it helped that I was running on my own for a while, not that I ever make any attempt to keep up when he is in front of me.
Another tip. If you do run together, tell him not to run back to allow you to catch up. I found that really offputting so now he knows to wait for me at the end, unless we are in unfamiliar territory and he there is a choice of directions to take.
He is always more interested in his stats than I am (although a pb is always a thrill!), but to be fair he always tells people that although he can run faster I can run longer distances more comfortably.
My sister is like that. If I do something she has to do it bigger and better. It’s frustrating but at least I don’t have to live with her. You’re just going to have to suck it up, focus on your own progress and enjoy your runs x
Your running journey is yours and no one can take that away from you. So your husband has decided to give up the gym and start running. He will have to do it exactly as you did by building up gradually. If he goes and does too much too soon he could well end up on the IC .
Maybe he will look to you for a few tips and advice, maybe not and just give up and go back to the gym . See what happens. 😊😊
Nope, not stupid at all! I’d feel the same way. I have no advice other than don’t run with him. You’ll hate it, you’ll prob run faster even if you don’t run alongside him but you won’t enjoy it (well unless you like pushing yourself all the time, I don’t).
Of course you are good enough, I'm sure he's been inspired by your running and realised he's missing out on something great. Remember, you were doing it 1st and this forum will give you all the praise and encouragement you could possibly want. Do it for you, ignore the fact he may be faster, run further etc, you have and are achieving great things for you, nobody else can do that. Happy running 🤗
Annoying
It's not stupid, really it isn't.
I finished C25K, consolidated for about a month then moved to Ju-Ju's Magic Plan and was so proud of myself when I did my first 10k. My husband hasn't run in years but asked if he could come on a 5k with me a few weeks ago. I asked him if that would be too far as he hadn't run for so long but he said he would give it a go. Off we went.
The first 3k of my usual 5k route is uphill so I tend to take it easy and then speed up on the downhill. My OH wasn't struggling at all and was going way faster than I usually would without appearing to be putting any effort in at all. By the end of the first 2k, I was exhausted as I'd been trying to keep up with him, it made me feel really lousy as I thought I'd been doing so well. I ended up stopping and crying, and that just made me feel even worse!! 😩
Needless to say, we've not run together again! But, I'm still going out at least 3 times a week and he only managed 2 more runs after that first one so I've stopped beating myself up about it and just concentrate on what I'm achieving. I didn't start running to compete with anyone else and I'm sure you didn't either. The most important thing is to enjoy your runs and to run for you. But I would definitely suggest that you don't run together. 😁😆
Good luck, keep going and happy running 🤗😊🏃♀️👍🍀
I don’t understand why finding out someone is a better runner than you should make anyone feel bad - you already know loads of people who are, what’s different when it’s your OH for heaven’s sake? You’ve probably been telling him running is wonderful for the last 12 months, now you’ve finally convinced him - what’s not to like? 🙄
You are right of course.... however it is a very personal issue I have with feeling inadequate in many things. It is also something that I had for myself. Of course I know that most people out there are better than me that isnt really the issue.
Please don’t think that people who can run faster than you are better than you. UpTheStanley is my OH and he wouldn’t have meant it that way.
You have done brilliantly to get to 10k and don’t let anyone take that away from you. Embrace the fact that your other half wants to run . It’s better than someone who doesn’t understand the pleasure it gives , and is certainly better than someone who rolls their eyes every time you mention running.
You are a runner.
Thank you everyone.... I think it is possibly also the fact that it was something that I did.... and only I did. Very selfish I know. I will get over it. Just got to stop over thinking things.
It's not just the competitiveness, though, is it? Running has been YOUR thing and now you have to share. You might find it hard at first, but my husband and I both run (no longer together as we just hold each other back) and somehow it's still MY thing. I don't mind comparing as we're not competitive with each other, but I suggest you just don't compare runs. And by the way, most people aren't better than you. Most people can't even run! x
Thank you. Xxx
Luhan, you’re absolutely good enough. My husband is a very good runner, although he only does it as part of his cross training for his first love, rowing. He’s currently out with a back injury though. My son runs sporadically and is an absolute gazelle, both of my daughters can run faster than me and I know one day my grandson will leave me for dust (I’m faster than him now though - all he can do is crawl! 😅)
Do I care? No way! I think the running community is wonderfully inclusive and we all have something to give. We’re all ages, shapes and sizes. Sure, there are some competitive souls out there, but that doesn’t affect my love of running. There’s no right or wrong.
So let your husband run. Let him enjoy it. You’re a fabulous runner regardless. ❤️
I will! Xxx
Totally understand. Mine decided to join in after I graduated C25K and pretty much was able to do 5k non stop straight away 🙄. We run together sometimes but I much prefer running solo, it always feels like there is a competitive edge to it when I run with him and that’s not what I want to get into at all, it would totally ruin running for me. I also find even talking about running with friends who run makes me anxious as there is the comparison of who ran where/how long/how fast etc 🤷♀️ Running for me is about my own physical and mental health, and what someone else can or can’t do is nothing to do with me or about me. Try to remember that you are running for YOU and by the sounds of things you are doing amazingly!
Thank you for understanding x
I feel your pain Luhan. My husband is always talking about his fitness and I feel less than great about my achievement. But then I remember what’s important- our own achievements are. So I smile, nod, and simply carry on knowing I’m fantastic. I never expected to run, let alone get to where I am. Today, as I’m still in quarantine, I was on the cross trainer for well over an hour trying to make sure that when I can get back out again I’m 10k ready. 10k?! When I started I couldn’t run 90 seconds. So I know my running achievements are excellent. It’s never worth friction. But it’s really worth remembering how special and great you are Luhan...never forget that for one moment.
It’s not a stupid question LUHAN ; for some time you’ve had running ‘to yourself’ and now he’s muscling in on your fun! And what’s more as a bloke he’s likely to be faster at it than you! But hard though it may be, try not to worry about it. He may well shoot off and do a 10k but this isn’t a competition. You worked hard to get where you are and can feel rightly proud of yourself so get you out there and do what you want to! Enjoy yourself and don’t think about what he is up to; if you think he’ll be too competitive, don’t run with him, it’ll only put more pressure on you which you don’t need. I know everyone else out there runs better, faster and more stylishly than I do but I can’t let it bother me or I’d probably never put my expensive new trainers on again! You’re a runner, go run!
Thank you so much for understanding x
Run the other way and let him get on with it 😉
Fabulous450 Wants To Feel The Flow, But Running Safe Is So Important Too! 🏃🏽♀️❤️
Wilmslow Summer 10k race
