What to do if you get a personal message you... - Bridge to 10K

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What to do if you get a personal message you are not happy about

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10
31 Replies

There is an ongoing issue with a couple of rogue members who seem to want to use these forums like a dating agency. These people are making a nuisance of themselves by sending personal messages to our female members out of the blue. We are doing are best to get rid of this sort of behaviour as it makes people feel uncomfortable. Please if you get a message from someone you have never heard of or seen on our forum please report the message. From what we have seen they are odd messages and written up like an introduction. We are doing our best to stamp this out.

If you get a personal message you are uncomfortable with report it. If you have never messaged with the person before there is a very distinct box at the top of the message to report.

If you have messaged with the person there is a drop menu on the bottom right hand side that says more, click on there and you get a drop down menu that says report.

We put these messages out every now and then because as admins we don’t get a report of abuse from the messages they go directly to Healthunlocked but due to privacy issues they can not act unless a report has been made.

Basically you have to invite them to look at the message and then deal with it.

It is very rare it is needed but just to let you know it is always there.

Tips about controlling your privacy from Healthunlocked.

support.healthunlocked.com/...

Rfc x

Written by
Realfoodieclub profile image
Realfoodieclub
Graduate10
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31 Replies
limberlou profile image
limberlouGraduate10

I had one from a tomlucas4387 and I just deleted it.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply tolimberlou

I am so sorry this is happening. Healthunlocked are doing everything they can to stop it. Could I just ask you report before you delete as the more information they can gain the quicker a solution can be found. Rfc x

Dexy5 profile image
Dexy5Graduate10

Thank you RFC. The work you all do is very much appreciated when this situation arises. 👏👏

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toDexy5

Healthunlocked are working in the background with all the information we can send their way too. Rfc x

UnfitNoMore profile image
UnfitNoMoreGraduate10

Why’s it always the men? I never get any such attention! I really don’t get it... there’s tinder for that, for everything else there’s HU!

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toUnfitNoMore

I know, I would understand if a couple of our members after talking for months and supporting each other with a common interest found they had a lot in common and chatted in the personal messages, but a creep out of the blue messages you and wants to know more about you. I would hope we would all have warning bells going off all over the place with that behaviour. It is happening on many forums and everyone has their thinking caps on to try an combat it.

UnfitNoMore profile image
UnfitNoMoreGraduate10 in reply toRealfoodieclub

Makes me happy we are over 16 only... there’s creeps and then there’s those other creeps.

limberlou profile image
limberlouGraduate10

Strangely I deleted it from my iPhone App but the messages are still showing on my iPad. How can I report them ? It’s ok. Just seen how to

Oh there are no dots in their messages. Even though I answered one ...so I can’t report it

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply tolimberlou

So sorry that is my fault they have now got a pull down menu on the bottom right hand side that says more, click on there and you get a drop down menu that says report. I will amend my post. Thanks for the heads up. Rfc x

limberlou profile image
limberlouGraduate10 in reply toRealfoodieclub

Well strangely there is no drop down menu in the iPad App and that is the only place the messages show up on. If I log into the desktop site the message doesn’t show even though my other messages do.

Very odd!!

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply tolimberlou

Are you on the app?

I just had a look I can’t find it on the app, I will ask advise on that.

If you go in through safari the drop down menu is there.

Rfc x

limberlou profile image
limberlouGraduate10 in reply toRealfoodieclub

Yeah but the message ain’t if I go through safari .. odd isn’t it

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toRealfoodieclub

It is a long click on the message On the app. Hehe it took me overnight to work that one out. 😂.

Dexy5 profile image
Dexy5Graduate10 in reply tolimberlou

If you pm me limberlou, I’ll advise what I did.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toDexy5

Thank you. Rfc x

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJoGraduate10

I've had a few. I reported one but the rest I just ignore as they are not offensive or anything... just odd. I always check the profile, if they've not posted in any of the running, or other HU forums I'm on they won't be getting my time or attention.

Usually the profile shows them following a host of other women as well. I do worry about some of those. I'll be quicker to report from now on 👍

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toGoGo_JoJo

Thank you, that will help as I suspect it is more prevalent than we think, which need to be addressed. Rfc x

Tulipcat profile image
Tulipcat in reply toRealfoodieclub

Having had an online stalker once before, I tend to keep my gender fairly neutral online on forums such as this. It’s such a shame a small minority spoil it. But thanks for tackling it.

Granspeed profile image
GranspeedGraduate10

Thanks so much to all of you in admin for working so hard to deal with this sort of problem. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toGranspeed

We want a safe place for us all, it is so important to us. Rfc x

Pianism profile image
PianismGraduate10

How sad, but thank you to all the admins for the work you do to keep this such a supportive and safe environment for us fledgling runners.

Sqiff profile image
Sqiff

Hello. I hope it is OK to reply to this thread...please let me know if not as I am after all all on the C25k and new.

I feel strongly that any issues should always be reported. You seem to use the word odd a lot. ...great. Anything that doesn't feel right. I do not think I'm being a snowflake by saying this, and I do prize how good this forum is. It's helping me a lot, and I don't feel it should be compremised by people being made to feel uncomfortable.

In the past, I am familiar with people having to 'put up' with particular behaviour in other situations. I really don't think it's a good idea, but I realise that's just my opinion.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the admins. A great job they do and much appriciated.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toSqiff

No one should feel uncomfortable on the forums. For the admins it is such a fine line for us to tread, we need to make everyone feel safe but also many members meet up at parkruns and events and that is great thing too. We are working to put together a general safety message for everyone on the forums to help get issues reported and dealt with quickly, leaving us the great task of supporting and motivating each other. Rfc x

Sqiff profile image
Sqiff in reply toRealfoodieclub

Great idea. Glad it was OK to comment. Really do think people shouldn't be concerned to pass on an issue, and if things are talked openly like this problems can be 'nipped in the bud'.

Sammy-Lou profile image
Sammy-Lou

Hi RFC I had one on the opening page which I deleted . It was strange and I didn’t reply as didn’t feel comfortable. It started ‘hi Scott.... and was from a mans name .. . so I presumed wasn’t for me but it puzzled me! Will report should it happen again.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toSammy-Lou

Thank you, Rfc x

Dexy5 profile image
Dexy5Graduate10

Hello RFC, a couple of us have discovered that when we posted, we allowed anyone to see the post rather than restricted to community. There is a button at the bottom which you can click. I think this has allowed the troll/lurker to spread himself around HU. Perhaps you could add a warning on your pinned post, or spread the word. Many thanks

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toDexy5

Thank you. I am in process of putting together some stately tips but to be honest it is hard finding the right balance of be safe and not putting people off totally from coming On the forum. For now I will put up the link that HU put in the community guidelines.

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate10 in reply toDexy5

This is the link to controlling your privacy and I have added it in above as well.

support.healthunlocked.com/...

Thanks again for highlighting this for me

Rfc x

Dexy5 profile image
Dexy5Graduate10 in reply toRealfoodieclub

Thanks for the link.

ktsok profile image
ktsok

Hi RFC, following reading this I just went through the list of followers on my profile and realised a couple of them have never posted. There doesn’t seem to be an option to stop specific followers on the app? Thanks...

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