Asics #5 - Let's run with Nagging Nancy!

Well.  You know I'm a technoplonk.  And a hillophobe and I melt in the rain.  Today's planned jaunt was 7.2km at what Asics describes as a 'fast' pace.  That was intended to be around 8.14km/min, which should have been fairly comfortable.  I've just worked out that I can have Asics plotting my route as I'm running it, which will save logging it afterwards, and then I found this little button 'Voice guidance' which I switched to On.

The weather forecast was not good (awful) so I abandoned the idea of going to Carsington, as my spotter (an early morning dog walker) told me that the paths were extremely soggy already due to the heavy overnight rain.  Never mind, there are plenty of hills round town.  I peered out of the window and saw a gap in the clouds, so went out hastily, switching on Strava, Asics and the Garmin.

Mr. Strava turns himself on and off ('Pausing'  'Resuming') every time you stop at a gate, road crossing or just as you take a deep breath, I sometimes think, so I ignore him.  But Nagging Nancy!  My first one and a half km is up a gentle incline.  Half a km and up she chirps: 'You are 11 seconds behind pace'.  What?  Does she not know that I am setting off slowly, trying to work out if my knee actually hurts or if it's just a niggle that will go away?  Can she not see I'm running uphill, dammit?  She's sitting up there on that bloody satellite - is she not looking down, watching me dodging the huge great puddles and the stream that's running down the road towards me?  This isn't supposed to be gorge climbing!

One km in and she tells me I've done one km in 8 mins and something - except that the Garmin is saying that I'm not at 1km yet.  But she doesn't tell me that's okay, oh, no.  One and a half km and she pipes up again, only I can't hear her because there's a bloody great lorry thundering past and I'm nearly in the hedge.  Two km and by now I'm trotting down the hill, faster than I should be, but not a cheep from her.  By this time I've decided that she's not sitting up on the satellite at all, she's at a desk in Dallas somewhere, filing her nails, talking to her neighbour about the great time she had last night and pressing random buttons when she thinks to check in on me.  'Oh, hey, there's that British gal, let's tell her she's too slow.' 

I press on, determined to ignore her, and finding this quite hard work.  By 4km both knees are niggling and my whole right leg hurts - hip, piriformis, knee, shin and top of foot.  'Not fair!' I wail - and plough on, more slowly.  But Nancy's pleased with me because I'm on target now, at 4.5km, so I consider my gait for a bit.  I reckon I'm landing quite flat-footed at the moment - not sure if my shoes have lost their bounce or if it's just me :(  By 6.5km Nancy's back again, in full-on nag mode.  'You are 44 seconds too fast.'  What?  Hang on a minute, lady.  You haven't said anything about my pace since I was back on track, and I know I didn't speed up that much over the last k, so... oh, sod you!  Go back to filing your nails!

All the niggles have gone away again and my systems check reveals that although tired, I feel okay.  Legs: check, knees: check, back: check, breathing: check - I only have a little further to go now.  Nancy tells me I've reached 7km and I ignore her, because the Garmin says 6.8.  I plod on, slowing down a little until the G reads 7.25km and then stop everything.  It's raining now so I panic about all the technology as I head home.

When I reach home, there's an email waiting for me.  From Asics.  'We have noticed,' it says' 'that you're running faster than expected.  Why not recalculate your training pace?'


20 Replies

  • Ooh, big brother is really watching you! Well done for being so fast!

  • Thank you, but it's still not fast (and not fast enough, apparently) and I hope to increase before The Event (ack) but I do have some time.  I think I might switch her off again for my next run, though :D

  • Brilliant! Clever post - made me smile. I tried MyAsicis last week but it needed an Internet connection - perhaps I need to adjust the settings? I quite like runkeeper - no nagging but good to have 5 min updates. 

  • Glad it made you smile :)  Runkeeper kept cutting out for me - it's strange how the different apps work and don't work, isn't it?

  • Ha ha Annie ! Dearie me, what a flippin' palaver !

    Loved reading that xxx

  • Pah!  What would she know, anyway?  Is she even a runner, that Nancy?  Bet she's not like our Laura!

    It was all a bit off-putting, ecktually.  I shall run nekkid next time - apart from my trusty Garmin, of course :D xxx

  • Excellent post annie-  really well written and humourous!!😂

    well done for putting up with Nancy! Yep i think of ditch her next time too!😆

  • She was a right pain in the posterior!  Think I'll find the off switch next time :)  Ta for the kind words :)

  • Most enjoyable post and well done for the run- I love the image of Nancy sitting on her porch in Texas chatting and filing her nails 😀

  • Thank you :)  Ha, yes - not behind a desk, sitting on her porch - exactly!

  • Ha ha, I am usually too vain to ignore that suggestion 😊 Make it harder for yourself why don't you,  is what they should really say.

    I bet Nancy usually manages the Santa monitoring desk but they're not very busy at the mo, hence  she was assigned to you.  I don't suppose there's any point in complaining as I expect she mans (womans) that desk as well 😊

    You got it all done despite the difficulties.  Running can sometimes be a pain in the arse can't it 😊 We love it though don't we

  • Well you would make it harder for yourself, wouldn't you?  :D  Not me, you know I'm a wimp!

    I can see Nancy now, all dolled up in a Santa red velvet miniskirt and white fur trim, with matching bright red nail varnish!  Wretched woman!

    Yes, I'll be off again tomorrow, intervals though.  Ack!  Don't think I'll take Nagging Nance with me though.

  • Very funny read and welll done on your perseverance BUT that would have driven me mad! 😡Has only reinforced that I prefer doing these things without a structured programme!🏃

  • Thank you - she definitely drove me mad!  The thing was, I didn't want to interrupt my run to stop, extract my mobile from my arm band, find the settings on the Asics programme and kill her :O  I shall do without her tomorrow - silence is bliss :)

  • I think one or two on the board are getting in a tizz over the phones, podcasts, music, tech in general.  The running's not half so much trouble 😊 

    Run free tomorrow, cast off your chains C25kers! 😃

  • The only thing I rely on is my Garmin.  I like to know how far I've come - and more importantly, how far I still have to go!  I don't run with music any more - and when I went back to Speed I found the headphones a bit of a bother, to be honest.  When I get back I like to look at my stats - not that they are impressive, or improving, but I like looking at them anyway!  And if I have done a new run I like looking at the map, sad bunny that I am :)  But on the whole, I only really take my phone in case of emergencies.

    Run nekkid, run free!

  • I ran Hagg again today but the usual way, still ruddy hard mind you, minus music. just Garmin. 

    I thought of you as I passed a pub that used to be the old Hunloke Arms. It's now a Harry Ramsden's real ale fish n chip joint but I noticed that it's got a GIN BAR!!!!  Whatever next!

    Had to laugh.  I had to slow down to blow my nose. Had a good blow and ran on.  Got to the end and needed another nose blow.  Couldn't find my hankie. I must have dropped it. Ew!    Only one of husband's biggest and best!  Tut 

  • Oooh, a gin bar!  That plus fish n chips and real ale - almost makes running worthwhile!

    Well done for doing Hagg again.  Isn't it odd how some hills are okay one way (because presumably you had to go up them as well) but killers the other?

    You know what you have to do about that hankie, don't you?  Run back and find it!  :D

  • What a brilliant post. I may just avoid the voice option when I start my plan now!!!

    PS tell Nancy to stick her nagging where the Dallas sun don't shine. You're doing great! 😆

  • Don't do the voice!  Well, you can, of course, but you might not like what you get!  Then again, lots of people might get Motivational Molly - cheerful, sensible and a bit jolly hockey sticks when you need it :)

    Thank you for your kind words :)  I made a mistake today - I ran, but forgot to kill Nancy before I went :(  I will post later...

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