Hello my friends here. As many of you knew, Dave was diagnosed with liver cancer in March 2018. He managed his chemo treatment pretty well and stayed surprisingly strong and robust for three years. At the end of May this year, he had a second Y90 radiation treatment on his liver and this sent him into a sharp downward spiral. He handled all the complications with his usual good cheer, but on this past Saturday afternoon he became extremely weak and dizzy, enough so that he asked me to take him to the ER. (I had seen he didn't seem like himself the past couple days and actually asked him to let me take him to the ER on Saturday morning, but he insisted he was fine. So I knew, when he asked later that day, that he really must be feeling bad.)
At the ER they did what they could but all of his lab values were so bad, and his blood pressure so low, that they transferred him to the ICU that night. He was in the ICU on many medicines and machines (ventilator, dialysis, etc.) to try to help his body regain strength, but in the end his liver was just far too damaged. After they took him off the aggressive treatment, they kept him comfortable and he was never alone - I was with him, and his sisters Laurie and Linda were there for much of the afternoon and evening as well. We got to tell him everything we needed and share lovely memories and make sure he was surrounded by love and calm for his last hours.
My sweet Dave passed around 8:45 pm last night. He was such a fighter - that was a term he used to scoff at, really, but he seriously was so very strong. I know not everyone believes in soul mates but he truly was mine. He will be missed and loved and remembered forever.
Written by
Curly_Girl
Caregiver
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Oh my sweet Wendy. I am so sorry. Just saw this message. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so glad that you were able to be with him. He was a fighter and you right there with him. Sending you love and hugs and praying for comfort and strength for you. Love you and I'm here if you need an ear.
Thank you so very much, Sharon. I am learning now how truly important these connections we have are, if that makes sense - this sharing of strength, love, prayers, in good times and in bad is what keeps us going. I sure hope Jimmy's procedure today went well! Sending you both love and prayers right back 💚
Yes, I truly don't know what I'd do without the friends I've made on here. Knowing I have a place to turn where people really understand what I'm going through. The support, wisdom, and love are invaluable. This is such an awful journey to attempt alone. As I told Andrea, if what Jimmy and I experience -both good and bad- can help someone else or make their journey easier then something good has come out of our ordeal.No one except the ones here may understand what I'm about to say but his cancer has made us cherish our time together and live each day to the fullest. Made us so much more appreciative of each day. Or even the good hours or minutes. I grieve for the time we've wasted and taken for granted thinking we had all the time in the world in front of us.
By the way Wendy...they ended up deciding he didn't have enough fluid to remove. They said there was fluid but not enough???
Oh Wendy, sweet friend.....my heart aches for you with the loss of your beloved Dave. As you know, I know too well how you are feeling with having lost Warren in June....I am so glad you and your family were able to be with him. You and Dave have both been such an inspiration on this forum. Sending you and your family love and prayers for peace, comfort, strength as you grieve and navigate these difficult days ahead.Please know I am here for you any time, day or night. God Bless you! Much love to you!
Thank you so much, Bonnie - your prayers and love are truly a comfort. I actually pulled up your email and showed it to the ER doctor just so I could be sure they checked that out. I am here for you as well, please always know that! Lots of love and hugs, my friend ❤️
Wendy I am glad you were able to use the info I sent you...and that Dave's medical issues allowed you the time together with your family. You are on my heart and in my prayers every day. ❤️
As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I am so very sorry for your loss Wendy. The anniversary of Adrienne's death is this Saturday and it stuns me that it's been 20 years. There has been much progress with HCC but not nearly enough. Sounds like you were lucky to have each other. I do believe in soul mates.
Oh Andrea. Twenty years - that is hard to fathom. I wish I could give you a hug. I plan to stay here on the forum in case anyone has questions about the medications/procedures that Dave and I had experience with. Thank you again for providing this very important resource! I know it helped Dave tremendously.
I'm so glad you're not leaving us. You're in my thoughts and prayers every day my friend. Big changes going on in our life partly because of you and Dave. Love you.❤❤❤
Andrea you will be in my thoughts and prayers this Saturday. ❤ 🙏 I know how hard those anniversaries are to get through. This December will be 11 years since I lost Manda and it often feels like it was just yesterday. I'm sure at 20 years it will be the same. You are such a Blessing to everyone dealing with this terrible disease. You (and Adrienne) have made a difference in so many lives. I'm so glad you let us know about the projects and opportunities because it lets us hopefully make a difference. Everyone that participates in this forum by sharing THEIR stories and experiences makes a difference by helping someone else dealing with it. Thanks to you and everyone on here that puts their own pain, worry, fear, etc aside and tries to ease someone else's journey. ❤❤❤Sharon
I love the photo. Wendy is right, you can just see and feel the love between you. I know you miss her every day. I don't see how anyone can get over losing a child. I think we learn to live with it but the pain is always there. In a group on Facebook for family members of cancer patients, a woman posted the other day whose 22 year old daughter has terminal cancer. She was complaining about the girl having trouble dealing with it and basically that daughter's depression was interfering with her life. I couldn't believe it! I'm afraid I told her to get over herself and give her daughter the support and love she deserves. I love the obvious closeness between the two of you. You were there for her and she knew she could depend on your love and support. You're still showing your love for her by everything you do to help others fighting liver cancer. ❤❤❤
I am so sorry for your loss. Dave was blessed to have you by his side until his last breath. My dear Lucy passed away a year and 8 months ago already. She is missed everyday but, she too fought the good fight. You and your family are in my prayers. The good memories will help you through this heartbreaking moment. Take Care.
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