Hardly surprising Ralph was a little bit down this morning. When I asked him a few weeks ago if he knew all this would happen, would he still do it he said yes because otherwise he could have dropped dead. He said if I asked him today his answer would be different and he'd have come home even if he only had 6 months. He is starting the vocal chords shock thing on Monday, because he feels he doesn't have any other option. If he doesn't do it, he'll always wonder would it have worked, if it doesn't work he's supposedly no worse off apart from discomfort. No other ward would take him until he can have the tracheotomy cuff down so he'll have to stay in HDU for at least 6 more weeks if the shocks don't work and then hope the swelling has gone down so he can try it again. They're going to put the tube through his nose on Monday morning and start treatment Monday pm. It will be 3 or 6 days if it doesn't work after 3. They've also restarted the 4 injections again to help dry the secretions.
By the time I left today he had rallied a bit, he's obviously upset and anxious, but he said he's still not going to quit.
How much more can this lovely man take, he is a trooper
Oh bless him. The best advice that I've been given is to look forward not backwards as you can't change the past. A number of mistakes have been made with my care (a supposedly routine catheter procedure for AFib went a bit wrong leading to femoral artery repair, emergency admission and emergency surgery) Also a few days of outpatient care between the 2 mentioned above where they had the opportunity to fix it with guided injections but didn't follow protocol. Not Chesterfield btw. Im trying hard to concentrate on getting better . No where near what Ralph has been through of course. Don't beat yourself up, it must be so hard for you staying positive all the time. And thank for taking time to update us.
He has been through so much (and you) so he will have his ups and downs (and you). With you by his side he will get through this - you sound an amazing couple. It seems you’ve still got a lot to contend with but if you think how far you’ve come from your first post.
Castleview you and your husband are so brave..with the whole of the group thinking and praying for you it will give you the strength and determination to stay strong, all the best wishes for you both.💕
Oh I'm not suprised he's feeling down. He's been through so much, & still facing struggles & set backs. I hope the latest plan is successfull & is a step nearer to a more comfortable Ralph. You are both incredibly strong for each other & like he says he's not going to quit. Sending love to you both ❤️ xx
It’s perfectly normal to have good and bad days all through life but you’ve both been almighty stressed for weeks now. A trouble shared is a trouble halved and it must have helped Ralph enormously to be able to communicate his feelings to you, his other half. Keep holding on to the thought that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. Love does more than medications and you and Ralph have that in shed loads. x
I missed replying to your previous post, I am sorry.
So Ralph really did have a stroke and it's affected his vocal chords and neck muscles etc. I've never heard of that, but I doubt it's that rare - poor Ralph. He certainly is a trooper, it must be extremely hard for him, not many of us would want to take that battle on. I think it's a good thing that he's staying in ICU, he will get better attention there.
How is he communicating S? Has he got a button or is he writing everything down? Sorry if I missed one of your updates. I hope he knows how many people are thinking about him, give him my best wishes. And you make sure you take it easy when you can. Steve x
I have not posted here before but have been looking for your updates daily for weeks. So sorry there seem to be yet more hiccups to Ralph's progress and therefore more stress for you. Keep your pecker up Lass, things will get better I am sure. Sending hugs and love. Jan
I think Ralph has to allow himself to have some down days after all he has been through. He is such a trouper and obviously has a great will to live but not so good days are completely normal. I think everyone will be full of admiration for him....and of course for you as you have had all the worry of it. Have you shown him some of the messages from people who are willing him on....tell him he's like a super hero and we are all following him!! Keep faith in the people who are looking after him and hopefully some little positive steps will help spur Ralph on xx
Dear Castleview, I have been following your posts and have just gone back to the first one where you said that Ralph had had a very mild heart attack and, although he was planned to have had angioplasty and stents, he in fact had a quadruple bypass. I am so sorry for all Ralph and you have been through since then. I can understand you both questioning whether at the outset you might have decided to do things differently. I am a 74 year old male in good health but who has hypertension and raised cholesterol. Your posts make me wonder what I would do if I had a heart attack. I am not sure if you have ever mentioned Ralph's age. If it's not too intrusive, are you able to share this information please? In any event, I wish you and your husband all the very best for the future.
Your having a terrible time, I really hope things improve for you soon. Take care of yourself, your partner is in hospital being taken care of, don't allow yourself to become ill as it's very easy to forget about yourself in these situations.
It must be so hard on both of you taking 2 steps forward and then 1 back but you are still making progress even though its very slow, he has come so far since he couldn't wake up. hopefully the shock thing will help and its positive that he still wants to fight after all the knockbacks fingers crossed xxx
Ralph is a trooper but so are you. You are a strong person and Ralph will feed off your strengh. Give Ralph a message from me. The day he comes out of hospital will be the day the sun shines. Thinking of you as a family. xx
I do not think that anyone here will forget you two...Ralph is a very brave and obviously strong man..and really wants to win...and he has gone through enough and deserves to win...and you deserve to get him back home...I do pray that his vocal chords can be revived...all these things which have nothing to do with his original surgery but with the treatment after.. should never have happened..but they did..and I can just repeatedly wish you both continued strength and courage..and wish you a miracle of quick healing...
I was so ignorant, I thought vocal chords were just about speaking, but turns out they help breathing and close the valve when eating, so the food doesn't go down the wrong way. That's what they're trying to fix, I don't care if he doesn't speak as long as everything else works
Poor Ralph, he’s been so brave through everything, it’s no wonder he has had a down day or two. But he’s so determined to get well and come home to you, I’m certain it will happen. Sending him a big squeezy Glasgow hug!🤗
My left vocal chord was damaged during OHS in September 2020, when my mitral valve was replaced. I assumed that my weak and husky voice still persisting after 3 months was due to the various tubes inserted down my throat whilst in ICU. It was only when visiting another doctor on an unrelated matter that I mentioned my voice and he said a nerve could have been severed during heart surgery. This was subsequently confirmed by a ENT doctor who told me my left vocal chord was paralysed. My voice is mostly back to normal but on occasions is still weak and husky. I have since "googled' this (of course) . Take care and positive vibes to Ralph.
It’s sad to hear poor Ralph is feeling down - who wouldn’t be after all this time. I hope something positive soon happens for him so that he has some hope and feels he is getting somewhere. Once a fighter, always a fighter. My husband died of cancer and he said to me that he had to fight because that was how he was. Your Ralph sounds the same. Hope he is in better spirits when you see him next. Give him a hug from us and tell him the best is yet to come. Xxx
Thinking of you both and praying for you both. You have been through so much but praying that this will end with victory. ❤️
Oh Sue - I think JoRuz has expressed my feelings here completely. Beautifully succinctly expressed. I send you both heartfelt hugs, and I keep wishes for Ralph's full recovery and your strength in my prayers. Keep on keeping on, both of you. Absolute Heroes 😘😘
Ralph is definitely a trooper, I’ve never known a person with so much strength. He’s also very positive and honest. Many would have crumbled by now. I believe together you both strengthen each other, no matter the situation you’re there with him.
I’m praying this works, he’s been through a lot and so have you. Keep fighting Ralph.
So sorry to hear Ralph was having a bad day, you are such a strong couple I am sure he will be back to his fighting self soon, he is such a brave man going through all this and thankfully with you by his side he will rally round again, take care char x
Sorry to hear it's not been a good day. This whole situation is so difficult, there's bound to be good and bad days. Thinking of you and praying 🙏 for you both as always ❤️
Poor man; he's bound to have off days after everything he's gone through. He's better off in HDU than on a noisy general ward where mistakes could be made. Sending prayers that the treatment works or they can at least get the trache out and get him swallowing well.. There are now lots of mechanical ways of allowing someone to speak. There was a man on the Yorkshire antiques show who had a button her pressed when he wanted to speak. It somehow vibrated his vocal chords.
Oh Ralph, I feel for you both. Think positive, we used to do electric shock treatment (called faradism in those days) for muscles that did not work. Some was quite pleasant - we had to practice on each other! - but the treatment for facial Bells palsy was not so nice. At least chesterfield seem to be on the ball! xx
Hi Sue I have found that if I am/appear to be happy!! then hubby will be too, I know easier said than done sometimes but it has worked for me. It is just a year since he had his heart attack and subsequent triple by-pass but not fully come to terms with it which reading others on the forum is not unusual he has his good days and bad days which Ralph will have and I am sure in answer to your question how much more can he take I am sure he will take everything that is thrown at him to be able to be better again, prayers and thoughts for tomorrow for his treatment.
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Yet another update 
