Hubby off sedation in the day and on it at night. Today he was moving his head from side to side and trying to get to his neck, so he's obviously now aware of the breathing tube. . Dr told me I shouldn't visit over the weekend as there'll be no change and I need to rest and eat. I wasn't going Sunday anyway but I'll make my mind up about tomorrow in the morning.
If he still isn't breathing on his own over the weekend they'll do a tracheotomy one day next week and the breathing tube can then be removed. Then he will be able to stay off sedation all the time, which will give him the best chance to wake up properly.
She also said he'll probably be in hospital for weeks, as he's so weak. I'll put up with that if he wakes up. It's our silver wedding anniversary on 27th February so I'm hoping he's awake by then, and maybe on the next ward down from ICU
UPDATE SATURDAY
They've sent him down for another scan to see if they've missed anything. He wasn't good off sedation today, so put him straight back on it. Heartbroken 💔
I see some more small positive improvements that your husband has made since your last update which is great news. I really do hope he will be awake on his own for your Silver Wedding Anniversary, even if he still remains in hospital. A slow and steady recovery is better than a quick and rushed one.
More positives, albeit slowly. A trachy will certainly allow him to come off the sedation and wake up better. Do what the doctor says and have a rest this weekend. Visiting daily you do not always see the small steps in improvement.
Don't feel guilty Castleview, if the tables were turned, what would you want? Having visitors can be very tiring, it makes you concentrate on them and yourself, rather than just concentrating on recovering.
You are so strong, I keep checking for your posts and praying for positive news for you and your husband. So glad that there are glimmers of improvement and recovery today.
More tiny positive steps today and a plan going forward for next week which is good news.
You are being amazingly strong - but as the doctor says, you need to take the weekend to look after & care for yourself so that you are able to support him in his ongoing recovery over the coming weeks.
Sending love to you & your family, and thinking of you all xx
I can understand that, but to go through what you have in the last few weeks you really are strong.Hopefully in a months time you will look back and see.
Have a lovely pamper session if you can, you deserve it x
I’m so sorry to hear this. What a terrible time for you. Take the doctor’s advice and get some food and rest. You need to look after you to be able to support your husband. I expect you are running on auto pilot at the moment.
Thank you for updating us again. It must be very hard for you and your family. I understand how you might feel guilty even when there is no reason but sometimes we have to take time to rest so you can be strong for when he will have the most benefit from your company. Hopefully the small steps will be more apparent when you next visit x
Hello Castleview, what a battle for you both. It's good to know that your hubby's team continue to give him the best care possible. How hard, though, must each step forward seem to you. Did you see the more sympathetic nurse today?
Whether you see hubby tomorrow is your choice. No one can know what you are feeling or what you are going through at present. Visiting may help you both, so don't be deterred by what the doctor said. And don't feel bad about not visiting, either. Do what is right for you.
Do you have an empathic GP? If so, he or she might suggest a little temporary support, from a counsellor perhaps, who could home-visit, give telephone support, or see you at the practice. That's possible where I live, but it might be different where you are.
Try to rest and eat when you can. We are thinking of you 🙏🦉
This is not yet another update it is an update I think quite a lot of us look for everyday
It is all sounding like it is moving in the right direction even if slowly
I think he is sensing something now as I remember when I was in ICU and I was no longer sedated but out of it still the tubes in my stomach I kept pulling on those as I could sense they were there so if he is sensing he has the tube in now then that is progress
They have a plan for next week which is all good and it is lovely how they are thinking of you to by saying stay at home over the weekend but like you say see how you feel if you feel better going in then you must do even though the rest would do you good and you know he is in safe hands and that you can phone as well as remember he told you to take care of yourself and while he is getting better he will want you to get some rest
I am totally with you let him be there for weeks as long as he gets better and comes home to you
It would be lovely if he was on the ward and awake in time for your Silver Wedding Anniversary and we will all be willing that to happen but and I say but as that is what it is if not you can have one big celebration when he comes home
You are both in my thoughts and I look forward to your next update x
I hope the infection your hubby had is on the way out now.
It sounds as though everything is heading in the right direction though. I used to make notes of little improvements as it really helped me when I looked back on my hubby's recovery. Lots of love and virtual hugs to you both and your lovely family. Jan xxxxx
That's brilliant. Nurses did the same for my husband and I wrote in it as well. That just prompted me to start writing my own notes when he came home as he was convinced he wasn't making any progress! You'll be able to do the same in a couple of weeks time.
This forum was my lifeline through my darkest times.
Wishing you, hubby and your family love and best wishes. Jan xxx
Hello Castleview. Sending my best wishes to you all for a full recovery for your husband. I wanted to tell you that when I had my triple bypass operation 18 months ago at the wonderful Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital, my wife was able to stay on the hospital grounds, in a house that was funded by a charity, for a minimal cost. She was able to stay for the 11 nights that I was in post-operation due to some problems I had. It meant she was able to visit and be close a few times a day with just a couple of minutes walk. Have you thought about asking at the hospital if they have similar facilities. It would be ideal for you. I have made a full recovery now, and I'm sure your hubby will,given time. It's a big event and we all react differently
Stay strong, once he starts picking up, he'll soon be on the mend.
No, they haven't. The Dr said today she thought she was going to be stuck because of the snow and she was wondering where she could sleep. She was lucky it had turned to rain by the time she finished
Hi Castleview, thanks for taking the time to update us all here I know it may not feel a positive but him being aware of something is so much a plus. I remember seeing my friend and my mum in ICU and becoming aware of the "tubes" and trying to remove them and thankfully they both recovered after doing so with some time many years ago now. Treatment has advanced so much since then too. It does sound like he is improving Castleview, it's a slow process, and equally exhausting for you emotionally and mentally and physically. I'm sincerely hoping it's all getting better now for the two of you 🤞.
I know also that it's difficult to choose whether to stay home or visit, I guess decide on the day of when you wake up but don't feel guilty if it's a not today, you've been through a lot too. And hopefully you will both be chatting on your Silver Anniversary about how to celebrate when he's all healed up 🤞
Great news. It can be slow even after ICU and he may need to be in the hospital longer after it for some rehabilitation before he goes home , especially if he required a tracheotomy but he's in the best place.If you feel up to visiting tomorrow you go if you want to, you can always rest for most of the day and in Sunday. Your hubby might appreciate the sound of your voice when you visit even if he is asleep or not responding.
Take care and thanks so much for taking the time to tell us the news, hugs, Bee
I understand where you're coming from, whenever my mum was in hospital I visited every day and people always told me to stay home and rest too. It was difficult, because I felt guilty too, but when I did have a rest day I would ring the hospital and talk to the nurse for an update a few times, even though there was usually nothing to report, but I still felt connected and involved by ringing. I would ask the nurse to tell mum I rang too. If she was able I talked to mum on the phone or sometimes the nurse would hold the phone to her ear and I could talk to her for a few minutes, it was a comfort knowing she heard my voice.
I know it's so hard, but daily visiting is very tiring too and it sounds like it's going to be a long admission, so maybe think of it as a marathon, not a sprint and pace yourself so that you don't end up getting sick.
Sending all my best wishes and prayers from Ireland, hoping you are fully together again as soon as possible as i am sure you will be. Look after yourself as you will need to be strong for him as soon as he is discharged.
I couldn’t be more delighted. After such a long time, you may find it takes him much longer to take small steps. 8 weeks before Dad acknowledged us in our case. But he’s there!! Remember, you need to help yourself before you can help him. Delirium may follow a long intubation. Message me if you need me! But for now Congratulations!
More positive news which is reassuring. You need to try and rest and take care of yourself over the weekend. Sending more gentle hugs and love to you and your dear hubby❤️❤️
thanks for update . I hope hubby keeps on improving and you get to have that hug on your anniversary. Please don’t feel guilty for not visiting . It must be incredibly hard for you to see him like that . It takes its toll on you physically and mentally , so don’t be too hard on yourself .
Hello Castleview, I am new to the site after being diagnosed with AF. I find myself looking for your update. I just want to send you a big hug and wish you and your husband well. It’s my 32nd wedding anniversary today so we both had a February wedding. Maybe gently reminding your husband it’s the anniversary of your special day coming up will give him a focus and give him some happy thoughts. Sending you lots of strength your way. X
You are a very strong lady, but you also need to have some rest.I keep looking out for your updates, and these small positive signs are a blessing. You are in my thoughts, take care
I remember feeling guilty when my hubby was in hospital for 5 weeks and during the train strike I was unable to go.My hubby got out of hospital but is very ill.so I'm with you on the hate of 24,23 wasn't that great either.I can only send you my very best wishes for your husbands slow but steady recovery.Im happy to chat if you want to .You can private message me.If not no probs .
Small steps good to hear your updates. Please remember to look after yourself too. If you are able why not take a short walk in a snowdrop wood. This always makes me feel better and do not feel guilty. Sending best wishes to you and your family.Hugs.
I can only agree with all the comments here, thinking of you & wishing you & hubby all the very best. Please don’t feel guilty, you are fighting this battle with him whether you visit or not and you need to replenish your energy now and again 💕
Many thanks for the update. Little improvements each day will add up to a lot over time. As others have said, do make sure you look after yourself. You are both in this battle.
With my continued best wishes, thoughts and prayers.
There are a lot of well-wishing folk here with you, and I am among them; looking for your posts, spurring you on, sending all our healing thoughts and prayers to you and your hubby. You will both get there, maybe not as you imagined, but in different ways. Your love connects you to him all the time so don't feel guilty if you're having to self-care too, juggling visiting - that's so you can preserve yourself. He'd want that for you as much as you want his recovery for him. Be at "peace", given you're stressed out, with whether you're visiting or need to be at home, each day, and what you must do. You both need your respective paths - healing for him, and staying upright for you - and you'll share your happy place together again in time. How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time - and you're already some steps on your way, both of you. Look after your needs, while they carefully tend to his. Make yourself eat, give yourself little treats, be very proud of yourself!! Courage isn't so much about being super-woman, it's about somehow coming through stuff we're scared of and wobble and fall over in, but get up again, one sometimes weary foot in front of the other. This will all make his eventual homecoming all the more joyous. Sending you both love, wishing him healing, wishing you comfort and strangth. Big hugs 💐
I, like so many others here, look out for your updates.
Sending you and your husband best wishes and loads of positive vibes. Take care of yourself whilst waiting for your husband to heal. It must feel interminable now but this stage will pass.
Good morning good to hear there are some improvements. Albeit slow it’s positive news I keep watching for your posts and praying for your hubby, you and your family. Please don’t feel guilty you have nothing to feel guilty about, you need to take care of yourself also,your hubby will need you when he’s home to take care of him. You won’t be able to if you are not fit and healthy. This is very traumatic for you and spending some time on yourself is what’s needed. I truly hope he is awake for your silver wedding anniversary on the 27th “ congratulations” Sending a virtual 🤗
Hi i have only just read your messages as i have not been on here for a while. My dad had a triple bypass 2.5 years ago. Unfortunately he had a heart attack after the op. He would not wake up for quite some time. He also had pneumonia which is why they could not reinflate his lungs and he could not breath on his own. He eventually had a tracheostomy and he eventually woke up. He was in hospital for 3 months. It was touch and go at one point. However, keep positive as my dad came through it. He still has problems now with his breathing and walking but with friends and family support he will get through this x
Let's hope and pray your hubby improves over weekend. Take care.
Hi Castleview, I've deliberately not commented because everyone else has so much knowledge and can express themselves better than I can, all I will say is it's improving daily albeit small things, take the weekend break and slow down, contact the nurses for an update ONCE a day, and don't feel guilty, you have been there no one can ask more, and may your anniversary be the best.
Thanks for the update, it seems he is becoming more aware. Must be so hard for you to see him like this. Please don’t feel guilty for missing a day, it’s a long way for you and need to take care of yourself. It sounds like he is having fantastic nursing care.
It's really good to see improvements. Focus on that. Take plenty of rest and take care of yourself. You need to focus on him coming home and you being there to support him and you can only do that effectively if you have looked after yourself and your wellbeing first while he's resting. So take rest try to avoid going on the weekend atleast so you can notice the improvements in him and your are well rested.
I am talking from experience. I ran myself ragged when my hubby has his stroke. So at first I struggled when he came home. Lesson learnt I need to look after myself to be strong and healthy for his return. God forbid anything like that happens again
I have been following your updates .These types of surgeries and being attached to a ventilator take time to progress. Try not to be in a rush it is sometimes two steps forward and one back. I’m sending you a hug x
Another small improvement by the sounds of it. It must be distressing for him. Look after yourself, keep your strength up. I hope there's more improvement over the weekend. Thank you for updating us. Take care. 💙
Hi CastleviewI have read all your posts and I am willing your husband on every day. He is making small steady improvements each day which is good. I know only too well what a worry it is for your loved ones visiting daily. I had a double bypass last January and my amazing husband visited me every day even though I told him not to as the hospital was an hours drive away. I was very lucky and had no complications. Please try not to feel guilty. Look after yourself. Rest and eat
You will need all your energy when your husband comes home.
Yes you need to be looking after yourself too. Hubby is not much good if you are ill as well/ Take time out, take time for YOU. Hopefully you will both be much better and able to celebrate together Big Hugs for both of you
Thanks for keeping us updated. It's a really difficult time for you and the hospital staff ae right to encourage you to look after yourself. It seems as though things are slowly but steadily improving.
Baby steps, but baby steps forward are good! As I tell my sister, who is a full time caregiver, take care of yourself first, because if you go down, so the whole enterprise goes down! Listen to the docs!
Please do what you think is best for the both of you in regards to visiting (though it’s very important you look after yourself as well as your husband, so don’t feel guilty if you decide to not go.)
Fingers crossed if he needs a tracheotomy that will help him wake up - and then you can tell him off for all the worry he’s caused!
It's good that they've sent him for the scan as soon as they felt there was an issue. Try to stay positive and if it's all feeling a bit much and you've not got someone with you , or staying with family , sort that out for now.You really do need a bit of company when you have to cope with this , hugs Bee
Thank goodness the scan came back clear again. I'm okay, I facetime my sons and friends, then I go to bed early and pretend he's on nights! I know that's crazy for a 70 year old woman, but so far it's working x
Have you found out which scans he's had , either CT scan or MRI? Which part of the body they are scanning?
They will be doing all they can , but it's good to keep a record if it all in a little notebook if you can otherwise you can get a bit lost with all the tests and changes.
Have a good rest over the weekend , they won't be doing any big changes until the team get together on Monday morning anyway , hugs , Bee
CT scan of his head. Can't MRI as he's still got some metal, but they're happy with the results.I'm writing it all down as well as the hospital doing him a diary.
I'm going to bed now, I'm tired, but I'm eating more.x
You're so amazing. You both remain in my thoughts and prayers. The hospital have many resources at their disposal. Keep the faith. I'm so pleased you're eating a little bit better and you have your chums on Facetime, and your two sons. One of Winston Churchill's little phrases was KBO - Keep Buggering On. And I guess you must do the same! Big hugs 🫂 XX
He had a tracheotomy today and the breathing tube out. Going to wean off sedation over next few days.Then tonight they had to remove tracheotomy tube and replace breathing tube as there was a problem with one part of the tracheotomy tube. Going to do it again tomorrow.
His body won't be able to cope with it as he's very weak.
Yes, hubby must be quite weak after all he's undergone, Castleview. And I can't imagine what you are going through. There's little I can say except that his team are trying their utmost to bring hubby through this, and there is hope in that. Thinking of you both, and praying for the best. I trust you will have better news tomorrow after the rescheduled tracheotomy. XX
Sending love and prayers to you. Keep positive, strong and hopeful. My mum was in ICU for 3 weeks years ago (brain haemorrhage and stroke) and we were constantly told to prepare for the worst. With amazing expertise from doctors and lots of love and care, she astonished everyone and recovered. Still lives on her own at 82 years old. My point is, I think doctors/consultants err very much on the negative. Nurses are much more optimistic, they've seen people recover well - especially with loving care. My hubby is being admitted on Wednesday - Valentines Day (our 30th Engagement Anniversary) to have a triple bypass the next day. Sending all positive thoughts your way.
Hi Castleview, hoping today is a better day for you both. Keep hold of the thought that scans and other tests have been fine and that once your hubby is completely off sedation he will gradually come back to himself.Rooting for you, try and stay strong.
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Friday update 
