Not sure what to feel : Ralph doing... - British Heart Fou...

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Not sure what to feel

80 Replies

Ralph doing well again.However, I've just rung since I got home, and consultant and ENT been round. They've studied the scan he had on Tuesday, and think he may have had a slight stroke in the 2 weeks he was unconscious after the op. He had about 6 scans in Sheffield, no Idea how they missed it. Don't think they're going to do the botox as they don't think it will work. They will try putting in a smaller tube in the tracheotomy but not until Tuesday as of course it's a long bank holiday weekend. ENT couldn't see far down because of all the secretions so they can't tell if it's affected his vocal chords or swallow. I don't think it has as he is swallowing and when Sheffield gave him a speaking button he could speak a little. I asked had they told him and she said yes and he was okay, then started reading. I mean he hasn't gone backwards, it happened weeks ago. He said they could tell me when I rang. I just wonder if Sheffield had picked it up sooner could they have treated him differently and he'd be more on the mend.

I just feel so bad for him, he's such a good man, he doesn't deserve this.

Nurse said he'll probably be with them a few more months

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80 Replies

You guys certainly do not deserve this. It does seem that the new hospital is definitely on the ball. Sending out ❤️ and prayers 🙏. Hopefully he is through the worst part.

Traveldreams profile image
Traveldreams

I’m so sorry that you’ve had such shocking news. Just before the bank holiday too. Hope you’re both ok. Thinking of you xx

Purpled profile image
Purpled

well n my view although not a Doctor I do not think that Sheffield could have done anything differently if it was a stroke. Also if he couldn’t have the contrast and it was a small stroke it probably wouldn’t be picked up. This would have cause explain the delay in his progress with the tubes being removed but he is still progressing but it is taking a bit longer. I have yearly surveillance scans and they will only do them with contrast because they are clearer. Is he allergic to MRI contrast or CT. Please don’t see it as a step backwards but as another piece of the puzzle towards getting better ❤️

in reply toPurpled

CT scan, can't have MRI because of the metal pins in his chest. I know it's not a step backwards as the last few days, including today, he's doing great. It's just another shock and at the moment I can't stop shaking. I'll be fine in the morning, just in shock x

Purpled profile image
Purpled in reply to

Yes I understand this more than you could know but what I wish someone had told me is to only focus on the here and now, day to day, past cannot be changed don’t think about the what ifs, as it stops you moving forward. Have yourself a nice warm bath and a good strong tea or coffee and read yourself to sleep. He sounds as though he has got this and is getting stronger it may take a bit longer but he will do it x

Dyllibobs profile image
Dyllibobs in reply to

Oh my word you're really being put through it! I'm so relieved that he's doing great now, that's fantastic news. I'm sure you are focusing on the positive steps & the improvements that Ralph is making. We're all behind you & I hope you have lots of support from your friends & family. He's in the right place & getting the best care for now. Hopefully, in the Summer he'll be back home with you where he belongs. Sending love xx

weepip profile image
weepip

Hi Sue, I'm sorry to hear your news today which must of been a big shock .In a way it is good to have a reason for all that has happened since the op and to know what he is battling against. Hopefully it was a very small one if it was so hard to spot and he will continue on his slow and sure steps to recovery. my thoughts are with you both xx

Yumz199725 profile image
Yumz199725

Ahh you both going through so much 💔 I'm so sorry, one of my close friends had a stroke 2 weeks ago she fell awkward and broke her leg aswell so she's paralysed on her right side because of the stroke she had a big one. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️and prayers 🙏🙏🙏.

Seal59 profile image
Seal59

You two have had such a tough time. The current hospital seem to be giving Ralph good care and hopefully will find a way to resolve his issues.

Ageingfast profile image
Ageingfast

I have had a stroke. Then years later AVR. I am reasonably well recovered from both. In essence stroke hit me quickly then it’s over. AVR came on slowly over years.

Best wishes

Sooty

Greenthorn profile image
Greenthorn

Stay with it. So many of us are willing you and Ralph on.

in reply toGreenthorn

Oh I'm not going anywhere, he's my man and I love him❤️😊

Greenthorn profile image
Greenthorn in reply to

❤️

Handel profile image
Handel in reply to

What an amazing comment to Greenthorn. This is a long and winding road that will eventually straighten out and you'll both see the finish line soon. You've all been through a nightmare time. We're always thinking about you both (and your sons). Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxx

Juke77 profile image
Juke77

Try not to dispair. He's in the right place to be looked after. On the bright side he's getting better each day and hopefully it won't be long until he's home.

in reply toJuke77

Be at least 2-3 months

Gumbie_Cat profile image
Gumbie_Cat

You are being so strong through all these ups and downs. Things really do seem to be getting better, even with the shock of the news. Hold on to that word ‘slight’ when they mentioned a stroke, and also the fact that Ralph is doing well.

All easier said than done. Do look after yourself too, this must all be exhausting for you.

AmandaLouise77 profile image
AmandaLouise77

Lots and lots of rest, rehab and physio and he'll improve little boy little. He's now in a good place with a smaller team caring for him, he'll get out in the sunshine as often as he can. He's being incredibly resilient but his body needs to recover slowly. The main thing is that he's improving not deteriorating. Xx

Art-99 profile image
Art-99

Hi Sue, I can totally understand your mixed feelings after this latest revelation, but as everyone has said Ralph is moving in the right direction although it seems likely that he won’t be home until early summer. Does Ralph have other visitors? It would do you good now and again to have a day off for a bit of ‘me’ time and to recharge your batteries. Sue (yes another one) x

in reply toArt-99

My elder son visits one evening a week and Sunday afternoon. His wife isn't good with hospitals but will go as soon as he's not hooked up to anything. Right now it's just his feeding tube in his nose, oxygen and tracheotomy. I'm happy just having Sunday off, I'm home by around 4pm every day, so have evenings to relax x

Murderfan58 profile image
Murderfan58

Sorry you and Ralph are going through so much but like others have said the change of hospital is giving him better care. I hope you are looking after yourself as no doubt Ralph is worried about you.

My friends dad was having an MRI as he was nervous about it so they allowed her to stay in the control room she told them he was having a stroke while in the scan but no one took any notice of her. Only went the consultant visited the ward he was on and she told him did he review the scan and she was correct. And given treatment .

Few months later he had massive heart attack at home and despite doing CPR and getting him to the hospital he died. But he had been on oxygen for over 10 years because of lung damage and heart problems. But was still going out daily for walks with his oxygen tank in a backpack. And he was an artist and painted daily. And filled everyday to the full .

I hope Ralph will beable to come home soon and be with you and both of you fill the rest of your lives with happy memories.

Larneybuds profile image
Larneybuds

Good morning.....they've said they think he may have had a slight stroke which to me doesn't sound conclusive, just a possibility, but if it is the case at least they are aware now and can work with their findings. He's still making progress and they sound like they are on the ball with it all and it's going in the right direction. If his stay in hospital is going to be longer they will do everything, like physio etc to make sure he's ok and strong enough to come home to you. It's been a tough journey so far but these small steps are all taking Ralph in the right direction and it's good to read another update from you. Once again and as so many have said to you....please be mindful of yourself through all this. Take care xx

in reply toLarneybuds

I've been reading and strokes can cause excess secretions and that is usually treated with botox injections. So all we can do now is wait for the stroke team on Tuesday and see what they say. Meanwhile he needs to carry on progressing with his physio and exercise

Larneybuds profile image
Larneybuds in reply to

That's interesting....the things they can do now are amazing...who would've thought that with Botox, though I know it it used in other areas apart from faces!! Yes....the physio and exercise will be good for him and the more he feels he can do, the better he will feel. Fingers crossed for Tuesday and hopefully another step forward gir Ralph xx

in reply toLarneybuds

They'd already talked about the botox, but ENT didn't think it would help, but we'll see what the stroke team says on Tuesday.

Larneybuds profile image
Larneybuds in reply to

I'm sure the stroke team will know if it's suitable for Ralph but if not they will come up with something to aid his recovery and at least they are now aware of other factors that could have caused his ongoing problems. Fingers crossed fir Tuesday xx

Carercmb profile image
Carercmb

I am understanding how you feel but accept it’s a small stroke and they are on the ball right now.

Sheffield were dealing with a lot and probably concentrating on the more serious issues.

Ralph is doing well and his team are expecting results by the summer.

Everyone is with you in spirit.

Lots of love 💕

Stent2024 profile image
Stent2024

oh god I really feel for you sue , you must be going through emotion going . I hope this hospital look after him better x

Bishop1 profile image
Bishop1

Hope you find Ralph much brighter todayPrayers and hugs for ye both

Take care Sue x x

in reply toBishop1

He's as bright as a button. He is recovering well, and this stroke happened weeks ago and we didn't know. So he is improving and feeling optimistic. We'll see what the stroke team says on Tuesday. It's typical it's a long Bank holiday weekend and not many staff in x

Plastow48 profile image
Plastow48

Prayers and hugs to you all.Jenny🙏🙏

JeremiahObadiah profile image
JeremiahObadiah

This has been two steps forward, one step backwards for you and MrCV, your nerves must be worn ragged with the whatever next sinking feeling.

Take good news wherever you find it. They think he might have had a slight stroke you said. It sounds as if is not obvious or definite and any damage there might be is not major. From my very limited and non medical knowledge I understand that a brain can/may reset connections in time to get around any long term damage which in any event may be slight or negligible.

This has hit you hard as it seems another cruel unfair set back but if it happened, he definitely survived, he has been gradually improving and the hospital is only correctly trawling through his records to try to get explanations and indications for improvements in how they treat and help him now and onwards. Keep looking forwards with him, don’t despair.

Lots of love to you.

in reply toJeremiahObadiah

I'm not too bad, this happened weeks ago and he is recovering daily. He's strong and a fighter, his brain is all there and his sense of humour. I have no doubt he'll be home eventually x

Stumpy47 profile image
Stumpy47

Clearly you and Ralph are an amazingly strong couple, I hope there are no more awful surprises & he continues to make progress. Slowly slowly wind the race. Best wishes.

Avagra profile image
Avagra

hang in there you’re both going to get through this although it may take a while it’ll be ok in the end ❤️

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover

Heart surgery is such a biggie and so multi-faceted. I continue to wait for it. If I get the go-ahead after all the pre-op assessments, and make the top of the waiting list alive, I know I'll face the same acceptance of all the risks that everyone else, and their loved ones, must do, and it can feel daunting and very frightening. Like boarding a plane, we must trust in the pilot, the crew, the machinery and whether smooth or turbulent, hope and pray we make a safe landing.Your brave Ralph has had turbulence, and detours. You've just had his possible slight stroke confirmed, and that has been a shock. But it was back then - and now he's recovering, he's 'all there', still with you, and climbing back, albeit slowly, and this is so fantastic. If complications had to happen, they haven't been massive ones (although I can imagine it feels big enough), these are gradually being overcome. Every day, he's taking more steps along his road to recovery.

Love is the greatest healer of all, and your Love for each other is such a dynamic force in pulling him through all that the doctors and nurses are doing to get him back home. And you will both get there!!

Can you find a good aromatherapist to give you some regular massages, and some emotional and physical healing as you support Ralph through his recovery?

I have this, while I wait, and anything that helps with relaxation, and is something to look forward to, is all to the good.

Prayers for you and for Ralph, and love to you both.

Another Sue 😄😘😘

in reply toWoodlandLover

I asked Ralph yesterday morning, before we knew about the stroke, if he'd known it was going to go like this, would he still have had the operation, and he said yes. I asked why, and he mimed clutching his chest and falling down dead. So we both said if we have to go through this for a few months it will be worth it if we get another 15-20 years together x❤️

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to

Yes, he is right, he's accepted the pain for the gain. Bless both of you, your experiences have given me so much encouragement, and touched very many hearts, here. Happy Easter to you both and every best wish for your renewed lives together 💛💚

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie in reply to

Oh bless him. It brought a tear to my eyes. What a lovely man. Give him our love.

Fairenuff profile image
Fairenuff in reply to

💕

Blueflags profile image
Blueflags

What an ordeal you’ve both been going through, I feel that you’re both strong and that although it’s taking longer than expected, and you say maybe 2-3 months, he will be home with you soon, sending you both my very best wishes 🥰

Dempo profile image
Dempo

Jings, this is a long, bumpy road you’re both on! As others have said, what’s done is done, keep looking forwards, not back. He’s making progress, that’s the key 🔑 here!

Creme15 profile image
Creme15

my heart goes out to you. I can imagine how you must be feeling yourself seeing the one you love so dependent. I pray for your dear husband’s speedy recovery to health and your loving care at home once more You must be incredibly strong to cope with all the worries and setbacks.

in reply toCreme15

I don't feel strong, scared most of the time, lol. We'll get there, love holds us together

andrea_waffle7 profile image
andrea_waffle7

Sorry to read your news. Thinking of you. Hopefully with the stroke team involved you will start to see more progress now. Sending lots of love. 🥰

in reply toandrea_waffle7

They're off until Tuesday, but he'll be doing his exercises with the nurses while physio are off as well

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie

It just goes on and on for you both. I was sorry to hear of the slight stroke, was it a small TIA? My friend had one and he is fine. Sorry to hear that he will be with them for months yet. That’s all very upsetting for you, but you never know the speed of his recovery and they are probably giving you the worst prognosis. I suppose they have to tell you what “could be.” I hope things improve for you soon and you are not so worried. Thinking of you with healing prayers.

in reply toCavalierrubie

The stroke was weeks ago though, so he's improving daily x

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie in reply to

Yes, he is and the operation was successful and his heart is ok, so he is going the right way. Think positive as Ralph is. You, and his determination, will move mountains. Love and prayers

Danceawaytheblues profile image
Danceawaytheblues in reply to

Hi Sue, my husband had a stroke and HA while he was in ICU, it took a long time but he finally came home. He needs a walking stick now, but he enjoys every day that we have had together since those dark days. You are both in my prayers. Marianne. x

2wheeler profile image
2wheeler

You have both had some challenges and got through them. You will again, you are strong people. Heres hoping for a few months now of calm and healing. Sending BIG hugs for you all

Elsabounre profile image
Elsabounre

Very sad..the result of some kind of "error" made right at the beginning..yes we should not speak like that..but it has to be...many have had the same OP with no complications..it is not even of any use to find out who or why the error was made..but it sure is frustrating..you both do have the patience and personality of angels..I doubt I would be so calm and undemanding of detailed information and names...however the situation is what it is...the ventilator..the tube..needs to be out as these always present more chance of infections...suction in the case of mucous which is not being helped by the antibiotics...it is so frustrating..and certainly undeserved...we know the NHS is broken...and there are still good doctors and nurses...someone there needs to think outside of the box..we all want Ralph to recover..he will have so much physio to do after not moving around for so long...wish you both continued strength and positive prayers.

in reply toElsabounre

It's quite common to have strokes during or after OHS apparently, but I know he's fully recovered from that as he is definitely "with it'. He is also quite strong, they are all surprised at that, lol. Just a shame it's a long Bank holiday weekend

sturon profile image
sturon

Hi Sue. I have been a member of this forum for 6 years following my Hubbies cardiac arrest. He survived and is able to do most things he could before. You have had over 50 replies to your post, which is a record I think. It shows you how many of us are following Ralph's progress. I know Chesterfield Royal well as I worked there for over 17 years he is the best of hands. Bless you both.

in reply tosturon

Thank you 😀

Partner20 profile image
Partner20

When strokes occur, particularly small ones, it can actually take a while for the effects to appear in the brain tissue and therefore to be visible on a scan. In all probability there was nothing to be seen when the earlier scans were done, so you should not worry that something was missed.It appears that no ill-effects have fortunately been experienced, not everyone displays the post-stroke symptoms that we usually think of when we hear that word.

Wishing you all the best, and hoping for a more settled period for you both. Take care and look after yourself!!

TAVIshock profile image
TAVIshock

All that seems possible is to offer warm sympathy and hopes for your good Ralph.

Tavishock

Callie456 profile image
Callie456

That certainly must've been a shock to hear, but good they've got more information about things. It will help to know all the bits and pieces they're dealing with and they sound very thorough.It is unfair, neither of you deserve this, I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better for you guys.

Praying for you both, may there be positive improvements day by day.

Lots of love ❤️

JMV100 profile image
JMV100

What shines through all your posts is the strength and beauty of the love you both share. You are a remarkable couple. Your joint resilience and grit are fantastic. He will be home soon. All will be well. We are all cheering you both on. Big hugs.

Shabana1974 profile image
Shabana1974

It was probably missed because they were not looking for that. Or they thought it was not going to change the outcome. Its very difficult I know but he's alive. And hopefully when he fully fit you both will still have many years together ❤️

Sending hugs to you both ❤️❤️ xx

GrannyE profile image
GrannyE

nobody deserves this but unfortunately we don’t get what we deserve. He is so lucky to have you - just hold on to that. Look after yourself. Give yourself a small treat. Put your feet up and watch a good film or better still something amusing. Sniff essential oil of lavender slowly and deeply. Good luck

pauljusa profile image
pauljusa

Real sorry his recovery is taking so long but at least things are moving forward.

Weetabixie profile image
Weetabixie

Just saw this, I'm so glad he's no longer at Sheffield hospital.Thank goodness he's where he is now. He is still moving from strength to strength thankfully despite all the setbacks. I'm so glad he's got you 💕

I want to say Happy Easter and hope this weekend proves positive for both of you. :-) x

in reply toWeetabixie

Thank you, Happy Easter to you x

Weetabixie profile image
Weetabixie in reply to

❤️

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

Sorry to hear this , but they will no doubt get the Speech Therapists to see him. At least his legs and arms etc seem to be working well. I doubt he would have been treated any differently even idf they have found it earlier. Waiting until Tuesday for the smaller tube is a good plan, as it gives Ralph longer to get used to the idea, so he won't be worried when they do it. Good luck xx

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

Is Ralph allowed his chocolate Easter Egg :)

in reply toDigger0

Not unless they can get it in the feeding tube in his nose 😜

Digger0 profile image
Digger0 in reply to

Hm. I'm sure blended Easter Egg would not be the same :)

in reply toDigger0

No, especially as it goes straight to his tummy, bless him. I turned down a cuppa then other day, and was waving to the nurse that he'd have one, heartbreaking it's over 8 weeks since he's eaten or drunk anything 😞

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

Bless. Is he allowed sips of anything?

in reply toDigger0

OJ or water and a brush to brush round his mouth

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

Just seen this on the BBC News pages "With vocal chords stretched by a ventilation tube, she faced the "devastating" prospect she would lose a "massive part of her life". bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-b...

in reply toDigger0

They're putting in a smaller tracheotomy tube on Tuesday....when more staff are on....and he should be able to speak a bit then x

Cat04 profile image
Cat04

🤞for all being well on Tuesday. A happy Easter to you both.

BEATbump profile image
BEATbump

How upsetting. So sorry to read this. I hope that he continues in good spirit and that at least now he's with medical staff that you can have confidence in. It's another tiny step backwards. Here's to a big step forward. Best wishes to you all.

Afibflipper profile image
Afibflipper

Hello Castleview, try not to focus on what Sheffield did/didn’t do (very hard I know) but, none of that can be changed & will only distress the pair of you more. Now you know the issues keep positive & with lots of even more hard work the outcome will surely, hopefully be rewarded. My dad had a stroke which at first he was unconscious, then awakened to be incoherent (but for a man who never used swear words) he was proficient. My grandma sat & did nursery rhymes (not to humiliate) things he’d remember easily but they were for his speach therapy as speach therapy wasn’t offered to him!! They just said he won’t really progress, that he’ll never work or drive again. He surpassed all expectations, did all that & more. The point of me telling you is ( not to talk about me & mine) but to hopefully keep your faith in him recovering much more in the months to come.

AmandaLouise77 profile image
AmandaLouise77

I know that at least one of the team of Drs looking after Ralph has experience of looking after stroke patients in a previous job so he's being very well cared for. Lots of the medical staff are multi disciplinary, especially in a smaller hospital so smaller stuff will get highlighted during his recovery that was relatively minor at the time but his care was concentrated on keeping him alive. Sorry that sounds a bit jumbled I had emergency surgery this week and by body is still dumping the drugs!

Purpled profile image
Purpled

Thinling of you both x

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