Good morning Hearties,today I am tired of being me! I`m tired of being deaf,I`m tired of being tired,I`m tired of not having the energy to sort out my disorganized life,I`m tired of having to do everything myself.Woe is me.Just proves gung-ho optimists have off days.Thank goodness for this forum,I would never admit these feelings to anyone else.xxx
Tired: Good morning Hearties,today I am... - British Heart Fou...
Tired
Here here I'm same tired of being tired lol I keep going for little walks with my dog but hey chin up meowd n carry on regardless lol
Thank you Wodney.Don`t know what came over me complaining when so many people on this forum are putting up with so much more.Took my dog for a walk in the sunshine instead of the rain.Am embarrassed now and will give myself a kick up the backside xx
Every one, each and every one of us here, is entitled to a vent/rant/moan/down day, every single one of us - you, me, and every one else here. We all go a bit wobbly at times and one of the best things about this site is having a safe place to talk out those wobbles
The only time to worry about feeling down about the heart condition(s) is when those feelings last longer than a day or two, or lead to such a sense of hopelessness we let ourselves go or even entertain thoughts of giving up altogether.
If that happens, it's time to talk to someone and if that someone doesn't help, to find someone else to talk to.
Thank you so much for your kind words Sunnie.I was feeling embarrassed after my moan but everyone has been so kind and understanding.I`m feeling a little tearful cos of the support.I assure you it`s just a blip and tomorrow I will bounce back and be my usual "sunny" self xx
For every bit of sunshine a little rain must fall -
It's OK to feel sorry for oneself, just don't wallow in it,
for that is a very lonely place to be.
Life is like watching a duck going about on the pond - no one see's the real work going on under the surface just to be able to move forward -
I am the sum of all that has gone before me - I will call into the past, far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me at my time of need. I will reach back and draw them into me. And they must come, for at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all - I am the sum of all that has gone before me, my ancestors, my own family, my very being is made up of the people that have given me life, who today give me every piece of my being, every bit of hope and faith and strength and the will to fight and carry on. for life is for the living and they look to me to prove their worth now they are gone.
That is so powerful ticking -ticker. I've often thought of the generations who have gone into the mix that is me . Makes me want to walk tall so not to fail them. 😏
As a Scot who has traced their family back yo the mid 16c I particularly feel the ties that our ancestors have given us within our gene pool - something that can easily be identified through DNA profiling. The life of a crofter was fraught with dangers and challenges and who is to say whether those very lives have made their mark on me and how I have fought for my health and made me who I am today. Even the struggles through two World Wars - not necessarily fighting but just to have lived through those years would have been challenging enough. It does make one think and to begin to install a sense of pride and well being in ones family.
Thank you for the reply and I agree wholeheartedly Gladwyn
How interesting that you've been able to trace your family so far back! I agree re Crofters and the extremely hard life they had to survive. I love being further up north around Caithness and Sutherland, wondering how on earth Crofters managed working the very beautiful but very tough land. To have genes from them is something special I think. I've considered doing DNA profiling since I was given a clue after eye surgery. The surgeon said my eye problem was something usually found in a different part of the world. Trust me to get wonky genes 😀I've probably passed them on to my children. I'm a Scot too even though my father was Welsh apparently ... Hence the Gladwyn 😀
You know you have wonky jeans when you find you can cook the most amazing pasta! My fathers family come originally from Orkney and was a known fact that many of the islands during the 16th and 17th century had mixed blood in them because of the many ship wrecks in the area, often from seafaring nations like Portugal and Spain.
My wife and I drove up to get the ferry to Orkney and went through Sutherland and Forsinard. Stopped at the hotel opposite the railway station there and asked for a bite to eat and a drink - refused on both counts as it was Sunday and we were not bonafide travelers even although we had just driven from Edinburgh! What they omitted to say was that we could only be bonafide if we were staying with them! The railway station was nice though - museum quality.
What a desolate land. Not a tree for miles because of the howling winds in winter and the huge slabs of concrete along the railway lines - to help stop the snow drifts from blocking the line and the huge poles along the road so when it snows one will still know where the road is. Nice heather though and peat cutters everywhere. I had never been north of Inverness (by land) and never knew how flat it was, and itself has it's own air of beauty, but winters must be so cold. No wonder the old crofter cottages had such small windows and thick walls and low roofs with the grass sod roofs anchored down with rope tied to granite boulders to keep it all on in the gales. I envy your stamina
Enjoyed your post thanks, took me back up there for a while. .... Was bliss sitting in the sunshine with wonderful views of the hills in the distance and not a soul to be seen or vehicle to shatter the silence . We had the Sunday experience too lol unable to get petrol then finally found a small open hotel where we filled up .... relief!! Good point about mixed blood as a result of ship wrecks ... Way back then of course! 😀
Sadly my pasta is quite non descript.😂😂😂
Beautiful words, thx Tick.
IT'S the time of year ....waiting to see what Santa is bringing. Lol. Dread the thoughts of the extra shopping and organising. Onwards my heartiest. Jane
I`m sure you`re right Jane,I don`t do Christmas dinner any more but I do hate shopping for pressies.Just had a walk with the dog and feeling grateful.xx
As I am feeling the same as you (had a horrible morning with racing heart, retching etc and I thought I had left all that behind me) have vowed to do all Christmas shopping online and not stagger around shops feeling awful/ there are some good sales on at the moment online. So get pot of tea, get list of people you have to get present for and start shopping from the comfort of your own settee and save the energy for a quiet walk instead of fighting the crowds....
That is also good advice and will do as you suggest.Hope your afternoon is better than your morning xx
Thank you - beginning to feel better might even get out of my pyjamas and stop looking like creature from the crypt. Heart rate not as bad as a couple of weeks ago when I was in the gym - it went to 196! Since then it has been all over the place. I have decided not to stress myself at all and I can see Christmas being one big stress....
I hope you feel more cheery by dinner time!
Such a great suggestion about online Christmas shopping, it really is a sanity saver. I've had all the shopping done since the end of September and every bit bought online with home delivery. All I have left is some sewing, wrapping and stashing with stern 'Do Not Open 'Till Christmas' warnings all over the big Santa Sack I 'hide' the lot in, and the Christmas cards.
Played Christmas music whilst browsing and spending online - bonus was I didn't like the song I could change the track, can't do that in shops.
AND the big thing is you will save loads of money too for the shops could never achieve the stock that is readily available at your fingertips.
My wife and I have has a Christmas tree every year since we married in 1973. Now, you almost need a bank loan to get something beautiful that is actually now dead. We did try a good artificial tree but it was just not the same. So this year we have "almost" decided to forgo a tree but continue with putting out all the Christmas stuff we have accumulated over the years and put the pressies down by the fireplace along with the obligatory stockings hanging from the mantelpiece.
Are we being miserly - Scrooge like or do other people feel the same?
My late husband and I used to take the children every year to a friend's farm to cut down a tree, always in an area of her farm where she was planning to cut anyway. Then one year as she was planning to completely clear a large wooded area, she invited us out to help cut down a massive (and glorious) 150 year old cedar. We were to take the top 8' and the rest was going to a local charity to use making wreaths and garlands.
It was a gorgeous tree. And we all felt so horrid about being part of killing that tree after the New Year we dropped an eye-watering amount of money on a Balsam Hill tree. My son has it now (and all the decorating materials).
'The new guy' and I bought a 4' 'most realistic True-Needle' Balsam Hill for our down-sizer and we love it. We have collected some amazing vintage baubles found in charity shops and some 'novelty' lights (clip-on electric candles and wow do those make lighting the tree simple!), and our outside lights are solar micro-fairy lights along the front stone walls. We live in a conservation area so are restricted for what outside display we can do - no rooftop Santa and sleigh, no dancing pink flamingoes (sigh).
Our inside space is small so we stick to small gifts that will fit into our Santa Sacks (stocking size) we hang from the mantel and the few large gifts, like yours, flanking the fire.
But every year we buy live greens from a local charity. It's just not Christmas without some live greens!
Sounds amazing!
Our little grandkids like decorating the fir cones we've collected together. This year they've painted conkers gold and silver. Can't wait to decorate the tree with them! xxx
What a lovely idea, your grands must really enjoy the activity and will have those memories for the rest of their lives. Your tree is going to be gorgeous!
Like you, we have been married since 1970 and downsized last year but still had the huge Christmas 🌲 as usual. Now here we are once again, thinking about whether it's time to buy an artificial one. We no longer have a large vehicle to collect one but I have found a local garden centre that will deliver so l think that's us sorted. I do think we just might put it up for early this year so that all the work is enjoyed for longer than a week or two.
Do what makes you happy🎅
Snap. Christmas is for children and when they are visiting at Christmas I like to put my Christmas decorations up. If they're not visiting they stay packed away. Shame Christmas has been so commercialised. Try to not get involved but have found it impossible. The stress other people are under can be felt in the shops and especially in the super markets when it is the week before Christmas and I find myself joining in and putting more things in my trolley.
Cheer up Charlie, don’t wear a frown. Your a lovely bright ray of light and life. Get your walking boots on and get some wind in your sails that’ll knock the cobwebs away 🌈
What about writing a little list of things you need to organise and tick one off a day.
Thank you Deano,very good advice I promise to take.Just walked the dog now I`m going to do that list.xx
It's OK to be tired, it's OK to feel down and it's more than OK to have a moan to us on the forum. It becomes not OK when you're too tired & too down to have a moan! Think of what you can to to give yourself a treat, maybe grab a friend and have an afternoon tea somewhere nice? Deano has made a good suggestion with the list, make sure you put some nice things on it though, not just chores! X
Thank you Lesley.You`re so kind.List has reached 14 jobs and am going to stop there.Never occurred to me to put nice things on it!Will revise it.Had a walk in the sunshine,that was nice.Some of the jobs are small so can perhaps do 2 a day. You`re wise beyond your years!! It would be much more serious if I was too tired and down to moan.Even on bad days there`s always light at the end of the tunnel which is the most important thing.xx
Ok, I'm laughing at the thought of something nice on my list...
Clean the fridge-freezer
Have a cuppa and some nice biscuits
Steam mop the kitchen and bathroom
Have two extra nice milk chocolate dipped caramels (oh what the heck, have four!)
Put the washing on the electric heated clothes horse
Have some more chocolates...
Laughing but thinking 'That Lezzers has the right idea!'
That is my type of list, treat yourself for doing something. My pet hate is ironing so on the rare occasion I actually do any, I stick my earphones on and sing out of tune at the top of my voice to my favourite songs. The singing drives hubby out of the house and "some" ironing gets done, win win situation! 😂
This is my list of chores before Xmas.
1. Shop for the wife’s standard jimjams & slippers Xmas eve teatime.
The end 😅
Cricky, I hope the you at least change the colour of the yearly Jimjams!
Be a devil, get pretty nightwear and maybe a small bottle of Chanel 5 for when she fancies sleeping Marilyn Monroe style 😉
Yikes , you’ve listed a decades worth of presents there. You are right though, she has been wonderful this year and she did change the brakes on me car recently, so I’ll get her a tub of swarfega 😅on top of the standard issue presents.
You're just too kind ...😆😆
Oh Deano.Where is the romance????
My Ex once gave me two saucepans on our anniversary .... I didn't wait for the full set !
I got a dustpan and brush and a broom. Still married after 46years!!! xxx
You`re a saint.My husband wasn`t a romantic but he never went that far!
My husband thought the best first year wedding anniversary gift would be a copper bottom fry pan.
He knows better now. Christmas is always a new Radley purse, anniversaries are now always flowers-chocolates-dinner at a good restaurant, and birthdays are always a nice voucher.
Old dogs CAN learn new tricks
Love your list.Not a bit like mine.If I had a treat between every job I`d be signing up for Slimming World!!!
If I am ever passing I wouldn't mine dropping in for a cuppa, Biscuits, Chocolate dipped caramels. What are Biscuits ? I remember somewhere in the past that word and I recall you had them with a cuppa !!! but that's all remember. Funny how Heart Failure affects the memory.
Enjoy lol
I make my own biscuits - I'm on a low (very) sodium/salt regime and my husband is coeliac. Not to brag (much ) but my low-salt gluten-free biscuits are so tasty my grandchildren always ask for 'more of your cookies, Gran, pleaaaaaaase' when they're over from the States.
I make a mean banana-walnut bread, too - next time you're in my corner of the Kingdom you are welcome to come through for a cuppa and some home-baked nibbles!
Are you familiar with the Health Unlocked Healthy Eating forum and Weightloss forum ? Im sure your cookie recipe would be well received on there, if you fancy posting it. 😊
healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
You vent away Cowparsley. We all have little wobbles along the way; it's what makes us human! You are very lucky to have your little dog and to be able to take him/her for walks. Sometimes it's difficult to see the positives. My cardiac phycologist told me to concentrate on the things you can do rather than those you can't. It's difficult sometimes when your struggling for breath!
Thank you Becks.I lost sight of all the things I can still do which is a lot more than some.Think I`ll have to swallow my pride and ask for help on some of the diy jobs xx
I can hear myself now. I'm not getting a stick. Then people will think I'm disabled.
I now have a stick and it helps people to realise that I am slow and to give me room and if they don't I can always hit them with it!
I have no other outward signs so people automatically assume I am fit and able.
Sometimes we have to have a big mouthful of humble pie!
On a more medical note and not quite so sympathetic. I have been tired for a long time and my blood tests have shown me to be anaemic. Talk to you Doctor about buying (or prescribing) a iron tonic. Low iron in your blood can make you feel tired but be careful as iron can be toxic . A bit of a two edged sword.
You described me. Don't be feeling bad about having a little moan. I'm always moaning. I'm glad you have a little dog. It will make you get out for a little walk when you feel able and love you unconditionally. Life is difficult for a lot of us. We can fool people by wearing a smile and putting on a bit of makeup eventhough we feel like crap but please talk to someone when you feel this way or at least talk to us. Sending hugs ❤
Know exactly how you feel. I a m one of those annoying buggers who allegedly ' light up rooms' as always try to put as Ile on people's faces. Since my HA in march it has been a constant battle with tiredness but am managing to stay cheerful most of the time. However.. as you have illustrated sometimes you think oh sod it. BUT and it is a big but. When I got my !is I just remind myself "Stop whining, you've still got a pulse" lol which brings me back to earth. Take care. Who be as much as you like but move on positively when ready. Cheers
I couldn't have put it better myself!
Yesterday I had a bad day, you see the specialists have advised me to use the nitrate spray if I have jaw or chest pains as I was told by the doctor this week that I have Angina. Its the first time I have heard of it.
I'm actually scared to use it, although I understand the implications if I don't.
Its more psychological, because before my recent heart attack I was fine living back to my old self following bypass surgery.
Now I feel like I'm living on borrowed time I'm 53 and feel like my life is over.....
I too took my dogs walking one at a time as cannot manage all 3 together so at least I'm keeping fit.....
It all got too much for me so I went to bed early, I find that my husband doesn't understand me so therefore do not burden him, he always turns it around to being about how he would cope if I was ill again or died not exactly encouraging or positive for me.
Let's hope that today is a better day although I have a shitty head cold that will not go away....
Nice thoughts, positive thoughts..... We can still get about and have our sense of humour. ❤️
Sorry you`re feeling so rotten Frenchbulldogs.A cold can drag you right down on top of everything else.I don`t have a husband but my son didn`t understand and was very critical of me so I ordered a copy of "Living with heart failure" and asked him to read it.He`s been better since. Perhaps you could give your husband some similar literature to read.He really should be involved in your health issues.I hope when your cold lifts you`ll feel a bit stronger.Do you have a sympathetic GP you can talk to?There are some very well informed members on this forum as well as very kind,sympathetic ones,also the heart nurses.Youneed to find support from some source as your husband is not supplying it. Sending you a hug and virtual coffee and chat xx
Thank you, I just get the odd "blip" like most of us do. My dogs keep me motivated and quiet frankly wear me out most of the time but wouldn't be without them. Sun is now shining so fingers crossed for a lovely day xxx❤️🌞
I hope you're feeling a little better than you did when you first posted your comment. You've an amazing ability to help people on this forum with advice and virtual hugs!!
All the very best to you xxx
Hi, your description fits me to a tee - and I don’t really have any health issues! Hubby had HA, CABGX4 and a stroke last year, dad had a fall that required brain surgery the year before, and I’m just knackered from trying to keep all of the balls in the air! Both have recovered well now, just my head to unscramble!!
When I retired I made 3 lists - things I HAVE to do, things that need doing and things I want to do. I started off by doing one thing off the have to do list, one off the needs doing list and one off my list. I think I should start that again!
On another note, could you be low on vitamins or minerals - medication can play havoc with your body’s ability to absorb some vitamins and minerals from your diet. Hubby couldn’t keep awake along with having no motivation or energy this time last year - eventually he was diagnosed with vitamin b12 deficiency, low vitamin d3 and low folate. Once those were addressed he was much better and many of his other issues have been resolved too!
Best wishes, Jane
Thank you Jane for taking the time to reply.Thank goodness you haven`t got any health issues with all you`ve had to deal with.So glad problems are finally resolving.You don`t need to do lists you need a rest and a treat list possibly like Sunnietoday`s or whatever makes you happy and relaxed.Good luck xx
Just one little thing- I noticed you were deaf, as I am. I just got some new hearing aids and life is so much easier. So if you don't have hearing aids, do get some and if you do have them get them checked and adjusted if necessary. Sadly hearing does tend to get worse rather than better!
Remember to 'let whatever you've done today be enough'.
Being a Complementary Therapist that helps people with ear problems. Those who wear hearing aids often suffer from excess ear wax as the ear produces more to combat the foreign item, thus then can cause reduced hearing. So, get ears cleaned occasionally.
Hi marypw.I`ve been hard of hearing for many years,it`s genetic and rather a strange pattern in that the loss dips so severely in places there are certain voices and sounds I cannot hear.The telephone is very difficult and of course anything more than a one to one conversation but my faux pas do cause a lot of merriment.I`ve lost one hearing aid and haven`t replaced it yet so that makes matters worse.
Yes, all my family are deaf, so the audiologist suspects mine is genetic. I used to put the subtitles on for TV, but I've just got some that Bluetooth to the TV and they are a revelation. Take care of yourself!
Going to claim for my lost hearing aid on my insurance as it was a private one.Would like to know about Bluetooth as I also have to have the subtitles on.
If you have a smart TV, you get a little box that links to the TV and Bluetooths to you. Kind of weird because you can still hear the TV all around the house!
Have you checked the Hearing fo the Deaf what you might be able to get? Just asking, I’m not aware of such things or Association s
Thanks for info. but I haven`t got a smart TV.It`s subtitles for me.
Depending on the age of your television (look for a USB port on the side or back of the unit), you may be able to get a 'dongle' that wirelessly connects to a pair of headphones or your hearing aid if Bluetooth ready - I love mine. My husband can now watch the box with me without needing earplugs or the (to him) annoying presence of subtitles, and bonus (I think) is I can now listen to a television or radio programme from anywhere in the house - I can be in the kitchen or even run the vacuum during The Archers now without missing a single word.
I am sure most of us feel the same some days! But we soldier on regardless we have a second chance so chin up .
Even the strongest people in the world have bad days. You are entitled to vent to our wee 'heart family' on here. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and get it off your chest. I find the good days are then appreciated more. Hope you feel mentally better soon. Hugs xxx xxx
Thank you so much,already on the up thanks to the kindness and understanding of the people on this forum xx
Hi Cowparsley,
I couldn't have put it better myself !!
I'm TIRED of oh so many things . .
Although have to admit I don't have a hearing issue, but have plenty of others I could substitute for.
But hang on in there, tomorrow's another day and we are still beating . . . ❤
I know exactly how you feel, especially when you present as a jolly outgoing optimist to the outside world, which I also do, but it's exhausting. I find that reading some of
the contributions on this forum can make me count my blessings..
My hubby always says that we are still breathing 😊
Do something you really enjoy, buy something you would really like
Eat something you know you shouldn't but will love. Start planning
for Christmas. Smile. Take good care of yourself.
I know the feeling. The grey wet day doesn't help and the funeral of a really dearly loved friend that I can't get to as it's 4 hours away. Feeling so bad about not going. Can't even get started on Christmas. Son has left home so here's only the two of us and it's all down to me and I Just don't see the point. Just bought 3 things online and two were faulty so now have the faff of packing them up and trying to get to the shop to send them back. Channel 5 running Christmas films every day pushing this glittery wonderful romantic family time just adds to disappointed expectations. I have the ingredients for Christmas cakes but can't get started. Oh well, tomorrow's a different day.
Qualipop,I`m so sorry you feel so down.You have good reason to feel so down and I know from previous posts you`re a pretty upbeat person.My last 2 Christmases have been awful and I am determined not to let that happen again.I f you can`t persuade your husband to take you out for Christmas lunch then I don`t see why you have to pretend to be all jolly and festive.Cook a roast dinner,eat and drink too much and sleep it off infront of the telly.Job done.I know, like me,you`ll bounce back again but stop thinking enjoying Christmas is compulsory.Lots of love x
Qualipop, I fully understand how you feel at missing the funeral of a friend as I have had to miss two which was very upsetting, it makes you feel so guilty and yet you know that they would understand. The short days and long nights don't help if you're feeling low at this time of year. The first Christmas my hubby and I had on our own was pretty good. We were dreading it but...……….we didn't have to get up at 5.00am to open presents, we ate what we wanted when we wanted it. We watched what we wanted to watch and did what we wanted to do without having to consider anyone else. We ordered a few foodie treats from Harrods and had a wonderful self indulgent day! This year the family are coming, of course we have never been able to tell them how much we enjoyed it on our own!
The official day for making Christmas puddings is 24th November (stir up Sunday) and by then you will be feeling much better. I shall raise a glass to you when I make mine and wish you well.
Mine are private from Specsavers - I've been saving up for them.
Thanks. Sorry, days like this happen; not helped at all by not being able to get to my friend's funeral After my mum died she was like a second mum to me. She was 91 so can't complain but I feel bad about not going. Christmas has to be the same every year; friends for a meal on New yrs Eve which exhausts me; go to them on Boxing day but they don't have anything I can sit on without my spine screaming. I'd love to go away but it's difficult to find anywhere that takes dogs We used have lunch out after parents died but had some awful ones and sitting not talking over a meal on painful chairs isn't my idea of fun. It's too commercialised and really for children. Hubby will just sit in another room all day watching TV and waiting to be fed. Even if son comes home he'll disappear with his phone
Don`t be sorry.Life`s dealt you a tough hand and your right, Christmas is primarily for children and such a difficult time if you have no family around.I think,like me, you`ve had a major blip and I hope in a day or two you will be back to your usual resilient self.Love and best wishes Jen x
It’s good to moan sometimes.