Feeling pretty low,

[Sina-6491]

Brother moved in last Monday, Mmmm....

He has hit hard times at the mo, his & his friends Think Tamk hasn't really taken off yet & it's been over a year.

He helped me 2008, when I had to flea domestic violence. His shared house for couple of weeks. Then he helped me finacially for a bit, evan when I said I'm ok, I can manage now. I am not a highmatance type, so could live cheep.

But Blimmy did he let me know he was helping me. Before I knew it, he was being controlling without the violence.

The good thing though, I didn't have to live with him, so wasn't so bad. The eventually he moved to Spain, then Brighton, so I had a bit more space.

So of course the fact that he needs somewhere to stay rent free for a bit. My fella I, was only too happy to help him out.

Now, some of you may have heard me talk about starting dog walking, petting soon.

I was meant to start a year ago. But I allowed my brother to take over, insisting my flyers were tacky. And the fact he was going to create a website, evan though I said, I don't want tgat yet.

I want to take it one step at a time. After all, I still wasn't feeling too cleaver from my heart attack.

But he talked me into it, tgen took full control as I had no access.

He then abandoned my flyer design & choose his own.

Anyway, in tge end I just gave in & said, I need to approve it before it goes live.

He made one excuse after the other about being busy etc. So I said, give me access to the site & I can be getting on with it. Oh no, you wouldn't have a clue, I do this kind of stuff all the time.

So stupidly, I didn't want to send these flyers out that he had created. Because I wanted to check this website out first. I didn't to put my name against anything I wasn't happy with.

Thing is, I had a car accident as a child. It was pretty bad from what I was told. Thankfully I have no memory of it. However, I do remember odd bits of my treatment & care. The whole process to get back to a basic normal was from what I can remember my mum saying, a year & a half.

One of my injuries was brain damage. So memory & academic skills are poor. I used to hide this issue, but now I don't care what single minded people think.

However I do manage, I get by just fine & friends have always been supportive.

Right back to the pet sitting business. My brother took so long, that it became too late. I took i'll again & tge consultant said it wasn't wise to take up dog walking while I was waiting for bypass.

So now when I'm juat about to give it ago again, my brother moves in.

And of course he pretty much starts straight away, taking over.

He has got this free website again that comes with his website.

All the work I have done in the last six or so weeks, creating contract & other documents, while not feeling poticually well. Has gone straight out the window.

Apparently they are rubbish, they don't look professional it seems.

He has takwn over our little two up, two down. Sleeping on our sofa, due to filling our spare room, including stuff pulled ceiling high on the bed.

My fella of course, is none too happy. He is holding back on my behalf.

He has taken full control of this new website that has been being created for the last week, day & night I've sat there with him at the dinning room table. Going to bed at silly o clock & it is still not done.

He has controlled everything. Content images, text, the lot.

None of it is my words. And most of it, I don't want or agree with. The worst thing is, every time he does a section. He publishes it, prices & all. Again, not the prices I created. Not the types of services I was offering. He has bickered & argued about every single thing.

Ladt week before he arrived, I put an advert on our little local foram, the area I want to cover for now.

I have had around about 9 inquiries, out of which I think I may have 5 possible future clients, nothing in the bag yet.

Also, a lady who said she owns a construction company that she is thinking of selling, as she needs something new. She wants to have a chat with me. So I recon, I have made reasonable progress, farley quick considering I'm not the brightest bunny.

So, I have been emailing backwards & forwards to one of the possible clients. Yesterday she emailed me to arrange a consultation.

My brother did his usual & tried to see who & what it was. Had no issues telling him of course.

I started emailing her back while yet again sitting a the table, just wanting him to get on with that blooming website & be done with it.

He then says, ha,

if you've managed to read this far down, (well done)

Ha, he then says, I am going to type you out a basic reply to these people. So you can send that to them every time.

I then said, no you're alright, I am more than capable of replying to my cluents, thank you.

Oh but your replys need to look professional.

No they don't, the lady just needs a simply day & time to meet. I can manage thank you.

He then says, hahaaa, I still can't get over this. I really can't get my head around it.

He then says, yes but like I said, they need to look professional. You don't want them to think you are some kind of thicko.

Well you could have knocked me over with a feather. I mean that is really taking the biscuit now.

I said, do you mind, not everyone is so critical or judgmental as you obviously are.

No, no, I 'm not saying you are thick. But if you want clients to read it, you don't want them thinking you are thick.

He knows the struggles I have had through life with my reading & writing. I still can't believe someone can be so cruel. I would say that was far more upsetting than anything my ex could have said & done. Evan though of course he was completely nuts & extreamly frightening.

No, that went really, really deep.

Anyway, I saud if I know of any possible clients thinking that way about me. Then they simply wouldn't be my clients, end of. I don't deserve that from anyone.

Now, I myself, am as far away from violent as you can get. Ha, how I didn't swing for him I don't know. He certainly deserved it.

I have held back because I know all this Think Tank business & I guess being homeless is quite tough for him right now. And of course I wanted my brother to feel at home in my house.

But I think I have had my fill of bullies now. I jusy can't do it anymore.

Like a couple of weeks ago, due to other people's issues causing me stress, I did sleep at all last night. My fella not happy about that as you could amagine.

So had shown, yogurt, then out the door before he woke up.

I have walked about 4 miles sat down to write this & I am going to stay out as long as I possibly can.

Will probs speek to him by phone this afternoon, as I recon I'll get all flustered face to face, then the words will come out wrong. Given him the opportunity to prove himself right, that I am not very bright.

Well, he is in for a shock, I am stronger than I look. I used to be a security guard in one of Asda's worst stores. And that is since I left my violent husband. I'm going to tell I don't his website & I don't need his help.

Knowing his sulks if he isn't getting his own way. He'll say something like, oh, if you feel like that, I'll go & sleep on a park bench.

And do you know what I am going to say.

I am tierd of walking on eggshells, make sure you take all your stuff with you.

So if any of you brave & of course very patient club members got this far.

What do you think? Am I just an intollarent misery.

I just think after a heart attack & a bypass amongst other health isdues. Life is far too short to be wasting it on negative people.

I was beginning to feel better & I am generally possitive.

But he has just put me back to where I was after the opp. Not good.

Thanks for listening, Jo 😄

[skid112 Heart Star]

Jo, thank you for sharing and I am sorry you have been through such a sh*t time of it. At the end of the day you have to do what you need to do and for what it is worth I think you have made the correct decision to be up front and tell your brother how you feel. It isn't about him this is about you and moving forward with your life. I can see why he is trying to help you but in doing so it is having the opposite effect which is never great. Can you talk to him while your partner is there? maybe that will ease the tension?

[Sina-6491 in reply to skid112]

Aww thank you for kind words. That's just it you see, it isn't help, it really is control. I could see my partner Ashley had to walk round the corner last night. My brother was being really out of order. So he is a strong man to do that I think. But yes, I think before it makes me i'll I have to be honest with my brother. Thanks again

[skid112 Heart Star in reply to Sina-6491]

wrong choice of words, what I meant was he probably sees it as helping

[Sina-6491 in reply to skid112]

Sorry phone ran out of charge.

It's ok, I knew what you meant.

Well all that talk of what I was going to do, ha.

I didn't get home until 21:00.

I hardly said a word, bath then bed.

Coward

[Hidden]

Hi it all sounds so stressful for you, families can be awful at times, think they are helping but are way off the mark, you sound strong enough within yourself to get things sorted out, I wish you well and I hope everything works out, keep us posted, take care xx

[Sina-6491 in reply to Hidden]

Aww thank you, yl

Yes families, can't live with them, can't live without them.

And at the end of the day, we love them. So of course, we wouldn't want to

[Marc68]

Hi Jo. I'm sure he is trying to help but at the end of the day it's your company and it's up to you how you present it. Sit him down and tell him he's not allowed to say a word for 5 minutes, then tell him how it's affecting you. If he realises what he is doing is probably causing you more harm than good then he might back off a bit.

If he won't accept what you say then you may have to tell him you don't want his help. Harsh I know, but you've got to get rid of the stress this is causing you.

[Sina-6491 in reply to Marc68]

Thank you for good advice.

I have kind of put him straight today with what I want for the business. I think it is getting through to a point.

Things have been so much better today.

I think the long day out helped yesterday. I feel he my have guessed the reason for my absence.

So all good, happy days 😆

[Sina-6491]

I would like to thank you so much for your great advice. It has helped so much 😉

[Marc68]

Glad everything is working out Jo, and good luck with the business.

[Sina-6491 in reply to Marc68]

Ta very much