RIP - My Father: Forty four years ago... - British Heart Fou...

British Heart Foundation

54,707 members34,239 posts

RIP - My Father

MichaelJH profile image
MichaelJHHeart Star
25 Replies

Forty four years ago today my father died. In the early evening he said he had this awful indigestion. Shortly after he had a heart attack and then arrested. A few years later his brother died but I did not find out the significance of this until nearly twenty years later. My father's father had died when my father was four and apart from the fact he died suddenly knew nothing more about it. I found out that he had died of a heart attack as had my uncle (his brother). Some years later I took this to my GP who informed me I had nothing to worry about as ny BP and cholesterol were fine. In 2017 I developed quite severe angina and in 2018 had a quadruple bypass. I suspect I had elevated Lp(a) but have never been able to get it tested.

I last visited my parents' grave in early 2020. After that we had the pandemic during which I lost my lower left leg. I hope I get the opportunity to at some stage.

My father's favourite song was:

youtu.be/eUWZqbumaZo?si=fkP...

And this one makes me think of him:

youtu.be/5hr64MxYpgk

Written by
MichaelJH profile image
MichaelJH
Heart Star
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
25 Replies
Fanfab1 profile image
Fanfab1

may their souls rest in eternal peace and that you get to visit your parents’ grave soon ❤️

MichaelJH profile image
MichaelJHHeart Star in reply toFanfab1

Thank you...

bluemoon572 profile image
bluemoon572

With that family history, a normal BP and cholesterol were no guarantees that you would avoid coronary artery disease. Fortunately you dodged a bullet and was able to get fixed up. Because of that familial or genetic background will you'll have periodic surveillance of your other risk factors & grafts by stress testing?

Plum53 profile image
Plum53

Sorty to read about what happened to your family Michael . Glad you were caught in time to have operation. Wishing you well.

Seal59 profile image
Seal59

I hope you get to visit your parents’ grave soon. On my husband’s side of the family all the males died before 60 of heart attack. My father in law had a heart attack at 60 but lived on to be 80. My husband and his brother both had heart attacks , one had stents, my husband had CABG x 5. With family history like that I worry for my boys. I hope you are ok Michael.

skid112 profile image
skid112Heart Star

Hi Michael Such sad times and I'm sorry but an indictment on the NHS, I don't care what your politics are, when there are more civil servants and managers than nurses or doctors something is terribly wrong.

Both my parents succumbed to heart disease at relatively early ages and as such the whole family was noted as at risk.

My medical notes, which I gained access to on my move to Spain, clearly show this note with another note asking the patient to be checked regularly. Needless to say this didn't happen until I had a heart attack and quad bypass. My sister died if a heart attack in her 60th birthday, I'm going to bet the house her notes said the same, but no she wasn't on any meds.

Since the surgery, one appointment with a cardiologist only and that was 5 minutes with him saying I'll sign you off now your GP will take care if you.

My GP, 31, I'm his first heart patient, we Google things together, he joined here as well.

In contrast here in Spain, bi monthly appointments, blood and urine tests, ECG in the surgery.

6 monthly cardiac appointments, six monthly ultrasound tests. Annual treadmill and oxygen tests.

Difference is the nurses are there to nurse, they do not provide bed services, only to the seriously ill. The patients family is expected to do this.

Oh the food is crap that's the same

Traveldreams profile image
Traveldreams

So sorry to hear that you have had so many family members die from heart issues. Statistics don’t account for family history. I had a letter from GP telling me that I had a less than 1% chance of heart problems within ten years after a check up, had a blood test the same week that showed I had heart failure 🙄

MountainGoat52 profile image
MountainGoat52

Sorry to read about your family circumstances Michael. We are indeed fortunate to live in these times.

Fifty two years ago my wife's father died aged 50 when he had a second heart attack. He had been put on warfare after his first HA, but had no further treatment, He had been passed over for active service in WW2, serving in the Home Guard, but it wasn't until much later that the relevance of this was realised. The information certainly did not filter down to his GP, so no action was taken in respect of his heart condition. Delving into the family history, I discovered that his father had died of a HA at a similar age and others in the family suffered a similar fate.

Fast forward 45 years and I had a HA in 2017, was well served by the NHS, having two stents and in recovery within 90 minutes of calling 999. From the start, I was asked about my family history. Unfortunately I had no information on my paternal line as my father died in a road traffic accident aged 45 and his father died in WW1. My maternal grandfather died on a HA, but aged 75.

After an elective bypass at Papworth in 2018, I was passed into the care of my local hospital. The cardiology department there was at a loss as to why I had had a HA, so I was referred to the pathology department. There I was tested for LP (a), Homocysteine, diabetes, cholesterol and other factors. I was found to have a raised Homocysteine level, which with a high blood pressure and stress due to work had caused my HA.

Notwithstanding the fact that we now have angioplasty, better blood tests and better medication, it is good that the NHS has evolved to the point of having an interest in the question... WHY? I just wonder whether had this been the case 40 years ago, would we have had our loved ones for longer?

Cee-Cee1 profile image
Cee-Cee1

Thank you, Michael, for sharing your story. My own Dad died on 5th March 19 years ago at the age of 77, coming in from the garden on a bright and sunny Saturday morning complaining of a bad pain in his left shoulder. He walked into the sitting room and collapsed and died almost immediately with a massive heart attack. The cardiac ambulance team arrived very, very quickly but nothing could be done.

He'd had his first two heart attacks at the age of 52 - he was a footballer up until that point, so had always been thought to be very fit. It would have been his 96th birthday on the 27th of this month. I'd my first heart attack at the age of 62 followed by a triple bypass and my younger brother has lived with AF since his early twenties.

I think of him every single day, but the memories are good ones now, even though I still miss him and always will. I hope you get to visit your parents final resting place very soon. Carol x

Bishop1 profile image
Bishop1

Hi MichaelDad died 50 years today (19/8/74)

Younger brother died ( 18/8/2011)

Uncle died (16/8/2007)

My lovely husband died (12/4/2024)

All very suddenly. Take care x x

Mark_1968 profile image
Mark_1968 in reply toBishop1

I’m so sorry ❤️

WeCanDoIt1 profile image
WeCanDoIt1

💕

Anginalady profile image
Anginalady

the hardest thing to bear is losing the ones we love, it makes you realise that nothing else really matters…. Our hearts go out to you and to everyone else here who has suffered.

Take care Michael

Heartfairy profile image
Heartfairy

I’m so sorry Michael to read your story about your poor dad. Forty years ago and you never forget that moment do you? I’m 13 years on from losing my mum and like you I remember it as if it was yesterday. My mum had an angioplasty at 56 and went on to develop pulmonary hypertension (PH) she died aged 69. Her father (my grandad) died aged 52 of a HA. I had my HA at 56 but am hoping this is it and I don’t inherit PH. But like everyone on here when we have dodgy genes we can only live in hope and trust the medication and minimise our risks through lifestyle. It is hard no matter what age we lose a parent or any loved one and we all probably aim to live past the age they died but what will be will be - we are all on the hearty radar with our GPs/hospitals, we’ve had procedures and are on medication and heart research has come a long way since we lost our parents. It is still a shock though for many of us and takes a long time to accept and adjust. You’ve been through so much Michael and you’ve shared your experiences with us, given great advice, provided us with quizzes and puzzles to keep us going so I think your dad would be pretty dam proud of you. You will visit the grave again but even if you don’t, your parents are always in your heart and they are at peace. Try and keep your chin up, look after yourself and be proud of how far you’ve come. You’ve helped a lot of folk on here Michael. So keep going… sending you love ❤️ 🧚🏼‍♀️

wischo profile image
wischo

My fathers brothers and sisters all died from heart attacks in their early 70s (72 being the most frequent age) and his father also. He being the youngest got more modern treatment and lived till he was 82. No surprise I had stents (elective) at 69yrs old and now have afib at 73. My brother has been in a fib since he was 58 years old and was recently fitted with a pacemaker so none of us are surprised at this. I recently talked to a relative on my fathers side whose father was my first cousin on Facebook as we had lost touch many years ago and she told me her father died at 70years old and said bad hearts in that family. Hopefully with modern medicine and procedures things will improve, but anyone that says family history does not matter is delusional!! as it is the most proved predictor of heart disease and mortality much more than lifestyle or any other factors. Just like some families are plagued with cancer and diabetes etc, check your history and take note of these trends.

Mark_1968 profile image
Mark_1968 in reply towischo

100% correct. I have a similar family history and CAD, close to having a procedure in the LAD but nothing “yet” - so sorry to hear about yours and your own ordeal

I wish you well 🙏

Platypus6 profile image
Platypus6

I hope you get to visit their graves soon! Wonderful choice of music. xx

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop

My heart attack was also purely indigestion. With a family history like that you should have had regular tests and preventative medicine. My grandfather,the youngest of 13 children was the only one to live past 50 but not one of my GPs ever asked about family history

ROBBO36 profile image
ROBBO36

Hi there Michael,

A nice & very poignant post. I hope you can get to your parents grave soon. Sounds like a tough family journey which is probably sadly common nowadays through the generations and I’m glad you were eventually given the correct care, but obviously not initially.

I too thought I just had really bad indigestion or heart burn, never In my wildest dreams did I think I was having a heart attack. It has now transpired that I have above average LP (a) and have probably had that since I was a wee boy.

Wishing you all the best. Two fabulous and very powerful songs, both always bring a lump to my throat.

isobelhannah18 profile image
isobelhannah18

Even if you don't get to the grave in the near future they are still with you in your thoughts and in the memories of them you have shared with us.

Raoudha profile image
Raoudha

May he R I P lovley song prayers sents from here .for all the peopple they left us for better world

Newstart3 profile image
Newstart3

Such a great song and so poignant. Hope you get to visit your parents grave again soon.

ling profile image
ling

As with your family, my dad's side has this sudden heart attack thing going on. These sort of genetic clues need to be watched for its possible effects on the next generations.

In our case, high cholesterol manifested at a much younger age and medications (including some very strong ones in combination) have to be started to prevent future heart attacks and strokes, which unfortunately also run in the family.

cappachina profile image
cappachina

Remember them with love and I hope you get to visit them soon but if not there are always with you in your memories

TasteLessFood4Life profile image
TasteLessFood4Life

Touching tribute and after all those years you still remember it like yesterday. All we can do is cling on to those happy memories because that is the only thing we do have left.

My dad went to the hospital to get better, but sadly never came back. Had a cardiac arrest and collapsed in his chair. It was a complete shock because it was so sudden. Think of him everyday - hope we will meet again one day.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

RIP Dad

43 years ago my father had a heart attack. He thought he had indigestion but had gone a very...
MichaelJH profile image
Heart Star

poisoned by statins

I have now come to the conclusion that instead of getting the correct treatment for my heart...
Rebaline profile image

Sad Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of my father's death. He felt unwell, had a heart attack and then...
MichaelJH profile image
Heart Star

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. For some it will be a difficult time as our father may no longer be with us...
MichaelJH profile image
Heart Star

My husband

My husband died on September 29th while on a cycling tour in France, a tour he had been on 2 years...
Penny606 profile image

Moderation team

See all
HUModerator profile image
HUModeratorAdministrator
Luke_BHF profile image
Luke_BHFPartner
Amy-BHF profile image
Amy-BHFPartner

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.