update funerals

[Caza]

Well the funeral has been & gone. I have to say it’s the most emotional funeral I’ve ever been to. My friend had been a football manager of young players for many years & to see the now young men there openly sobbing was heartbreaking. The church was packed out & the doors were shut, which made my escape route impossible. Before it started I had a panic attack all the symptoms couldn’t breathe felt sick faint shaking & wanted to run. Managed to control it but boy was it hard. I did stay in the moment & didn’t allow myself to zone out. I’m pleased I went to support his family & to pay my respects to him.

My friends father has died at a grand old age I knew him well although he moved out of the area so haven’t seen him for a few years. I’ve told my friend that I cannot attend the funeral enough is enough for now. Luckily she understands.

[Gingerbreadman1978]

firstly well done for controlling your panic attack it ain’t easy secondly it’s good your friend understands it ain’t good when funerals are close together been there done that send some flowers with a card then in a away you feel as you are there good your friend understands

[Caza in reply to Gingerbreadman1978]

She really does understand. She’s having a memorial for him later on & I’ll go to that. I cannot face another funeral just yet.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi Caza

I am really proud that you managed to get through the funeral, hard as it was x

He was clearly a much loved person and held in high esteem by many.

Yes, a Memorial Service will be better for you right now.

I hope you manage to have a calm day and some 'Me' time.

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

Thanks Chloe x

[Caza]

Thank you for your lovely words. I feel sad for my friend who’ll be home alone now. I’ve never lost a husband/ partner but can imagine the emptiness she must feel.

I do have a dog. He’s a big friendly giant. We’ve always had dogs apart from a brief period when we had a holiday home abroad. They’ve brought us an awful lot of laughter & pleasure over the years. Around the time of my daughter’s death we lost both of our dogs one just before & one just after. The family seeing that I was struggling to get up, by that time I’d given up my job, so they bought me a puppy. That got me up & moving!!