Lost My Husband 6 years ago and lost my mum a year and half ago.

[Nelly66]

I have had such a roller coaster ride since I lost my Husband to lymphoma, he battle with this for 20 years, the 4th time of being diagnosed was incredibly painful as he was not supposed to ever have this type of cancer back again after his last diagnosis 6 years prior, it is called Burkitt's lymphoma which after 2 years of not having it and being told he would not get this again as it does not hide. Then another 4 years later gets it again, they told us that my husbands own immune system and body somehow managed to adjust this awful disease which is extremely rare and never heard of to get it back again after such a long time down the line, we both were so shocked to say the least, he battled it again for 6 months and then had to have a stem cell replacement from a donor, but that where his body just was so exhausted from everything that he has gone through over the years just gave up, he contracted a lung infection and never could recover from it, my story has much more to this and I would be here writing for a very long time. I have felt and endured all the painful and emotional things that I did experience and being in hospital with him constantly and seeing all other people going through such awful and Heartbreaking moments and situations, being there for them as well, trying to encourage them to stay calm and acknowledging the pain and knowing how they were feeling. My story of grief has been so long and what really didn't help was how others didn't understand how i felt, I lost friends and other family members throughout my grieving. Me and my four children's lives were changed forever, the dynamics of change within the house was so very hard for all of us as one of my daughters had her exams the very next day and she did it with me outside the exam room and my youngest son was so brave in supporting her, my oldest children were also so brave in supporting me and the youngest ones through everything, organising and managing their own grief through very difficult times. We had no support from any other family members or friends. So very hard, 😔thank you for reading my experience of grief, xxx

[Nathalie99]

Hi Nelly,,

I am deeply sorry for your terrible loss, there is no way to express things at such a deep level.

You are such a very caring person and absorbing other people's pain as well so it may be tougher.

Lymphoma is a very difficult and varied illness.

I am so sorry that it came unexpectedly and it is such a shock...

Your husband was fighting so very much.

You need more support from other sources. Family has their own grief and it is harder to talk about. Maybe there are other friends that you can spend some time with and do something totally different even for a moment, go to new places etc.

I am so very sorry and I understand how you need to be strong for your children... sending support...