Cried into my pillow: Last night, out... - Bereavement Care ...

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Cried into my pillow

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
8 Replies

Last night, out of the blue I cried for my long departed Dad, grief has been really hard for me for many years, never seem to have really got through the journey. I cried, not because he was such a wonderful Father but because I finally realised he was an awful man where his family was concerned but 'wonderful' to everyone outside.

I think I may be finally getting there.

Chloe

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
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8 Replies
GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJo

Narcissistic parents are the toughest to recover from.

Acceptance and no longer defending them is a great start.

You may also now be grieving the father you should have had, deserved in fact. Or just the childhood that could have been richer with love.

Big hugs x

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo

Thank you GoGo_JoJo

You're right of course, I was so shocked to just start crying after all this time but I think it really is the end of my journey and it's been a long one. <3

Chloe

Clarrisa profile image
Clarrisa

Yes I feel as if I have been there with my own father. I asked myself where oh where are all these people he has treated wonderful in his time of need?

I don’t have children but realized with my recent dog’s passing that I was not in tune enough to realize her geriatric needs in a timely manner. So I feel in essence I took after my father. This has been a hard awakening for me. Hopefully you do not have to struggle with these feelings as well.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Clarrisa

Thank you Clarrisa

Reading your first paragraph, well I could well have said that myself!

I find it more and more amazing the effect parents have on their children way into their futures. I really do hope the struggle gets better soon, don't be too hard on yourself <3

Chloe

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

sorry to read that you cried chloe as much as I miss my dad as we really only had a relationship for 8 years things about him that I didn't like.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Yes Kenny, kenster1 it's a sad reality sometimes, I think we always push the bad stuff to the back of our minds and I think that's why it hit me so badly!

Take care

Chloe

JOLLYDOLLY profile image
JOLLYDOLLY

I hope you are ok now chloe40 :)

Sometimes we need to let the tears flow and sometimes they come from nowhere.

I miss my family, (mum, dad and sister) more than I ever have before. I feel isolated and lonely in someways and I feel guilty and resentment, when I hear someone call or speak to their parents. I even call my parents old number sometimes, fortunately it is no longer in circulation, but it makes me feel better.

You take care chloe40, and know I am only a message away.

:)

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Thank you so much JOLLYDOLLY

It came out of nowhere and completely threw me but now I feel that it was meant to happen, odd as that sounds, as I really feel I have finally come to the journeys end. <3

It's been such a hard road for you {{{hugs}}} you must do whatever helps you at the time Jolly xx

Chloe x

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